How to deal with unrequited love 🆙

Is there pain more painful than that related to love? Whatever the problem (unrequited love, betrayal, heartbreak), it hurts a lot when we realize that that feeling that is so strong in our heart cannot be lived with the person we love.

Unless you've been very lucky in this life, it's quite likely that you've already been through a situation of unrequited love (or still will), what happens when we love someone, but that person unfortunately doesn't reciprocate what we feel for Is it over there.

What is unrequited love?

Unrequited love generally takes two forms: that situation where we feel something for someone, but that person never gets to feel that feeling back; when there has been love, as in a relationship, but at some point the other person stops feeling the way they used to feel.

Regardless of what the case may be, both are very painful and can greatly mess up the heart, routine and life of those you love, so it is important to try to take care of the heart in these moments and prevent a heartbreak from drastically changing the paths of our life, because today it is you who had an unrequited love, but tomorrow someone may not be reciprocated by you. That's life.

We have prepared two lists below to help you deal with this moment: one that will help you understand if your love is really not being returned and a second with tips to overcome an unrequited love. Check out!

How to deal with unrequited love — **Jose Antonio Alba / Pixabay**

Why am I not reciprocated in love?

The moment when we realize that the person does not correspond to us in love can be quite painful or may even never come, depending on how deluded we are by what we feel, so we have prepared a short list with 10 tips to understand if your love is not being matched and to try to understand why this is happening.

1. The person doesn't even remember that you exist: do you spend the day thinking about them, spend the week making plans or spend your life imagining a future for you, but realize that the same is not being done on the other side? It may be that your love is not (more) being reciprocated. It's hard to realize that we're loving alone, but direct your love to yourself and understand that right now that person doesn't deserve what you can give them. Let her go and understand that there is nothing wrong with you, just that the feeling has faded.

2. Dialogue is complicated: the two main symptoms of this are conversations that disappear or that are no longer exciting and the lack of mutual understanding, when the two members of the relationship (or flirtation) seem to speak different languages and can no longer communicate with each other. to understand. If your feeling is very strong for this person, rethink your relationship, because your love may not be reciprocated.

3. You are better when you are away from that person: when we are close to someone we love, we are usually happy, smiling like fools and enjoying a beautiful moment of peace, right? If, instead, that person's presence makes you uncomfortable or he even treats you badly, it may be that what you feel for him is not reciprocated or that you no longer feel the way you felt for him.

4. Have you created an illusion: do you truly love that person's essence, or did you project an image onto them and end up falling in love with that image in your head? The natural consequence of illusion is disillusionment, so it is necessary to try to understand if you are not expecting something from a person who does not even exist.

5. You've created too many expectations: you know when we're waiting for that message that never arrives or for the person to say exactly what we feel we need to hear? It's impossible for the other person to know what you need if you don't say you need it. Also, try to live from day to day, live more in the present. When we have our minds on the future, making a thousand and one plans, we create high expectations and we run the risk of experiencing great frustration when those expectations we created are not met.

6. Fights are increasingly frequent (and/or aggressive): no one likes to fight, whatever the relationship, right? When fights start to be more and more frequent, this can demonstrate that some “filters” have been lost, so people have lost the fear of getting hurt, which suggests that one of the sides no longer loves as they once did. Also, if the fights get more and more aggressive, it shows another symptom of unrequited love, because respect is one of the biggest pillars of love and a healthy relationship.

7. There is no sex or there is a feeling that it is an obligation: when we fall in love, the tendency is that our libido grows a lot and then we live in that phase where sex is very frequent and incredible; but, as time goes by, things can end up getting cold between the couple. Sex cannot be the only center of a relationship, but it is an important pillar of the relationship, because it is a moment of surrender and harmony between the couple. So, if sex has ceased to exist or has drastically decreased in frequency, think about whether this person still likes you to the same extent that you like them.

8. The desire to please the other has been lost: when we love, we think of gifts and surprises to show the other how much we love them. So, when you lose the will/need to make small treats or even small concessions, such as giving up your program to make one that pleases someone else, this can be a sign that love has weakened, so it's that the person ends up caring more about themselves or their desires.

9. You often feel insecure or jealous: There are many sources for a feeling of insecurity, but the most common is feeling that the person you love gives more attention, affection, love and affection to people other than you. If this has happened and if you notice that the person is more keen to show that he likes other people more than to show his love for you, it may be that your love is no longer reciprocated.

10. Plans for two become individual plans: do you know when we realize that the person begins to imagine a future that does not involve us? This is a great symptom that the love we feel is no longer reciprocated, because it shows that the person is planning a future without our presence, because they no longer love us.

What to do when love is unrequited?

Dealing with unrequited love is a very unique and very individual thing, because each of us has a different personality and each relationship has a different nature, so only you, little by little, will understand how to deal with your broken heart or the relationship that didn't work out, but we've prepared below 10 tips for you to overcome this uncomfortable moment:

1. Limit or permanently cut off communication: if you go to the same places or have the same group of friends as this person, maybe it's time to rethink this relationship, which can be painful. Also, cut off digital communication and stop following that person's social media at this uncomfortable time.

2. Give time to time, when it comes to a next relationship: when the person we love soon starts a new relationship, leaving us behind, the tendency is that we want to repeat what he did, but give time, heal your broken heart and only then get involved with someone again, because it's unfair to add someone else to this mess, isn't it?

3. Don't idealize the person too much, or belittle yourself too much: it's common, when a relationship ends, that we start to miss the person who was next to us, even if the relationship was no longer good or that person didn't help us. treat well. Stop idealizing this person, think about their flaws, what caused the breakup and stop belittling yourself and finding mistakes in yourself.

4. Express the art that is inside you: “Break an artist's heart and see the most beautiful art sprout” is a famous saying on artistic wheels. Enjoy what you're feeling and write about it, draw or compose a song or poem about it. Turn something really bad into a positive.

5. Get rid of everything that reminds you of the loved one: there are people who end a relationship, keep everything the person gave and remain happy that way; But if your personality is not like that and having what the person gave you or what reminds you of them is bad for you, get rid of everything to feel better.

6. Change your routine and seek new experiences: a trip alone or with friends, a new course, a new hobby, new environments, friends and experiences... all of this will give your life a new face, promoting profound changes in you and helping you to leave behind those who are no longer around.

7. Feel good alone and doing your programs: Going back to places you used to go with loved ones can be quite painful, so find new activities to enjoy your own presence. Go to the movies alone, play a sport on your own (like cycling or running), and little by little start to feel the peace of being in your own presence.

8. Take your free time right now: “An empty mind is the devil's workshop”, the saying goes. If you don't occupy your free time or just wander around on social media all day, your heart will keep squeezing and aching, so occupy your free time with sports, arts, leisure activities or with friends to stop thinking about bad things.

9. Look for your friends: when it hurts too much, look for a friend, talk about your discomfort and ask for advice. If this person really knows you and the things you've been through, they will be a great ally in your recovery time.

10. Seek therapy: moments of breakup or unrequited love mess up life and our own personality, so look for therapy to talk about it and to reorganize and feel good about yourself. Professional help is much safer and more accurate than the advice our friends can give, yet both are complementary. Take care of yourself!