How does losing a father directly influence your daughter's personality and life? 🆙

Those women who had the opportunity to experience a healthy relationship with their parents, and who for some reason lost them at a stage along the way, may not have the slightest notion of how their personality and life are directly linked to this relationship and transformation after a mourning.

That's what this text will be about, about the pain of losing a father and what life is like after that!

“Funny” how things are always interconnected and how naive we are in the face of the force of the Universe. Yesterday, after facing some not so good days, I had a very bad migraine attack that took me to the hospital. I stayed there for a few hours alone, and on the way home I was taken by an immense longing for my father. Maybe because I was feeling fragile, and he who was always my symbol of protection, automatically projected himself on me, and it was impossible to think for the thousandth time what my life would be like if he were still alive. (Just to put you in the picture, my father passed away 15 years and a few months ago. 1 month after I started college and 15 days after I turned 18.)

Well, I went home to rest and, still under the effects of medication, I received the sad news that the father of one of my best friends had just died. Surreal, because when these things happen, it's inevitable not to relive everything, not to feel the pain she's feeling, not wanting to be by her side, as she was by mine, not thinking about the whole process she's going to face and knowing that yesterday a wound has opened in your heart that will hurt forever!

Most of my closest friends have already experienced this pain, I was one of the first and that left me with a more observant look at this issue, which unfortunately happens every day.

And I saw the lives of each one of them transform. All of them, like me, had a very close relationship with their parents, full of love, affection and care. There, in that man, they had the representation of the safe harbor, of the lap, refuge and fortress. They knew they were not alone in the world.

We had to take the throne, take the cedar and rule our lives. And also learn to live without a crown. I don't know exactly why, I don't know if our parents didn't think about it, in the practical part of the thing, since they were the main providers within our family routine, but the fact is that in addition to the affective pain, we had to learn to live with a new financial reality. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy.

I also see a lot how our mothers dealt with all this, except for one, they were all married and lost in addition to the father of the children, their husband and love. Some took charge of the house and family, while others did not know how to deal with what happened very well. Mine was a warrior, it's my greatest pride! She faced very delicate situations, as my father's death brought up several issues from the past, and of course she had to deal with raising two teenage children. After a brief mourning, she was reborn, reinvented herself, but I know that in the process a little piece of her died along with it and was buried back there. But she was brilliant, fulfills her role to this day with excellence, and nothing I say or do in this life will be enough to say how grateful I am.

The fact is that I always question my life and that of my friends when something good or bad happens to us. How we could have taken completely different paths, how we could have been better supported in certain difficulties, how their laps would comfort us and how our achievements would be even happier seeing those smiles and looks of pride.

But as I believe that everyone has their time in this incarnation, their particular journey, I just have to constantly practice acceptance and gratitude. Because if there's one thing in this life that I am, it's grateful to have been able to live with a loving father. With all his faults, but always a friend, understanding, encouraging my madness, who worked for me to be a good and happy person.

I always appreciate every moment of the 18 years and 15 days he was by my side. If I am a journalist, it is because of his total influence, from the Sundays we spent together reading books and comics from Monica's Gang. If I love sports, it's because he always encouraged me to practice a little bit of everything and accompanied me to all my official and non-official games. He was there in the stands cheering and cheering. If I have this silly mood, it's from listening to his jokes so much that no one found it funny, but I laughed a lot. And if I love music, but I'm out of tune that it hurts, it's because, as my mother says, I inherited his non-talent!

Anyway, it is up to us who went through this experience to seek tools to deal with this fact, which will accompany us for the rest of our lives, in the best possible way. May the pain be as little as possible, may we know how to welcome it, respect it, but also overcome it. And that we can fill our hearts with love always!

It's good that my friends and I have each other to share the pain and share the love! That's how we become stronger!

Namaste