Love is blind? For the most romantic people, the answer is yes. For those with a more pragmatic view of relationships, the answer is no. And there are individuals who do not have an opinion on the matter and who would only say yes or no after this theory was tested.
It was with this in mind that the program “Casamentos à Cegas” was born. Success in the American version and in the Spanish version, the reality show that promises to build deep and sincere love relationships has a lot to teach us on the subject. With the following content, reflect on liquid relationships and true love!
“Marriage in the Blind – Spain”
“Marriage as Blind – España” is a 2021 relationship reality show available on Netflix. In 10 episodes, we follow people who want to live a great love, but are not satisfied with the conventional ways of doing it. So they turn to the program, which presents a slightly different dynamic of encounters.
First, two groups are formed, which will not see each other in person to a certain extent. One group is made up of men and the other group is made up of women. Afterwards, these people are directed to individual booths, where all the women will have the chance to talk to all the men, but without seeing them.
In these conversations, the participants of the social experiment should get to know each other. When they feel compatible with someone, they can decline meetings with other people on the program. Thus, a relationship begins to develop. A man and a woman start talking only to each other, still separated by the cabins.
If all goes well in the cabins, one of the people of the couple must propose to the other. Only after the request is accepted will they be able to see each other for the first time. After this first meeting, the formed couples go on a honeymoon, which is a trip in which they can get to know each other even more.
At the end of the trip, the lovebirds will live together in an apartment offered by the reality show. At this stage, they live each other's routine and the first problems begin to emerge. But if couples consider that the differences between them can be overcome, they end the experience of a little more than a month with a wedding.
Appearance or essence?
In modern society, we are used to knowing a person by their appearance in the first place. Even dating apps are focused on this, which leads many individuals to slightly modify their image to have a better look than reality.
In this context, the proposal of “Marriage to the Blind” seems crazy. How can someone marry someone they've known for so little time? And how is it possible to fall in love with someone without ever having seen that individual? While this experiment is extreme, it raises an important discussion.
After all, do we fall in love with a person's appearance or essence? Probably most answers to this question would be, “By the essence, of course”. That's because we know, rationally, that someone's appearance is the most superficial part of that person and that only the essence really matters.
But in practice, we do not always consider the interior to the detriment of the exterior. To delve deeper into this reality, it is important to know the concept of liquid love, by Zygmunt Bauman. The sociologist argues that interpersonal relationships are becoming increasingly superficial and weakened, without any solidity. That is, they are liquid relationships.
As a consequence of this phenomenon, we get involved with more people, without really knowing them. Instead of having multiple dates with someone, for example, we pick a person we think is pretty, go out with them once, and move on to the next. Living like this, how would it be possible to arrive at a marriage, in which the two people must know and love each other with solidity and trust?
It is also important to consider the weight of beauty standards in this scenario. Those who fit the patterns better may be more likely to relate to other people, even if they are superficial relationships. Because of this, non-standard individuals feel that they are unattractive and unloved, compromising even the lasting relationships that could be built.
Expectation x reality
Another question that “Marriage as Blind” raises is society's relationship with the myth of romantic love. By this way of thinking, the love that one person feels for another is enough for them to stay together. So if a couple fell in love in the cabins, any other problems that arise in their life together would be irrelevant.
Such a theory is taken so seriously that participants must marry after only 30 days of living together, as the love they feel could overcome all. Despite this, the couples' expectations of what their relationships with each other would be like were dashed by reality.
The reason for this is that the people who participated in the program fell in love with the image they created about the other from what the other said about himself to them. And when we're talking to another individual about ourselves, we hardly ever point out our flaws or what could cause some kind of annoyance.
Therefore, when the period of coexistence begins, embarrassment takes over many couples. That's because they need to live with someone they met a few weeks ago and still must follow the mating dance to maintain the glow of the relationship they are slowly building. Cases of machismo and lack of affective responsibility were common during this period.
In other words, the myth of romantic love is just a myth. In a relationship, it takes more than love for two people to get along. They need trust, compatibility, and similar plans for the future. In addition, it is essential that they know most of the characteristics of the other, the good and the bad, and that they have a good daily relationship. This became evident from the couples who ended the show saying yes.
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As a conclusion of all the reflections presented, we can observe that love does not depend on appearances, but must be built day after day, in a deep relationship. By trying to speed up the processes, we end up going back to liquid relationships, in which people don't really know each other. Watch the reality show to think more about this issue and form your opinion on the subject!
