In the times in which we live, with “liquid” and superficial relationships, it is common for us to meet someone, imagine that we have found the ideal partner or partner, but shortly afterwards, we realize that all this was nothing more than a great illusion…
And it's common, after relationships that end in this way, that we feel guilty for having been deluded, which is very wrong and dishonest with us, that we are already hurt after a relationship ends.
If you need some tips to identify if you're being deluded or to deal with the feelings that come after a heartbreak, check out our tips!
Signs that you may be being deceived
1 – There is no desire to assume the relationship
If having a label and being in a relationship is very important to you, but the person on the other side doesn't want to do the same, that's a warning sign. Each one knows their traumas and knows their interior, so often the other person is afraid to assume a relationship. But if you've been together for a while, trust the feeling and what you have together, maintaining this resistance to assuming it is a bad sign.
2 – There are no talks about the future
When two people fall in love and start to build a relationship that goes beyond intimate relationships and pleasant nights, it is normal for conversations and plans for the future to take place. If you notice that the person avoids including you in their future, it can be a big sign that you are not in their future plans, so it's worth having a very frank conversation about it.
3 – Discourse is different from practice
"I love you" are just words if the person's actions don't show this love that he says he feels, no? Loving is more than saying, it's demonstrating with acts! If you feel that this person's words are meant to soften you up and make them get what they want, but their attitudes are very different, it's time to consider whether you're not being manipulated and tricked into giving them what they want.
4 - You are not part of the person's life
You try to get to know the person's friends and family, make comments full of affection and love on their social media, but you never get the same back; you're always making plans, but you never get the same back… So these could be signs that you're not really a part of that person's life, which could be a warning sign that you're being deceived by them!
5 – You are always chasing
Are you the one who goes after a fight or a disagreement or are you solely responsible for the plans for the weekend, for example? If so, then it's a sign that the person isn't as committed to the relationship as you are, despite swearing that they are, which can be a big sign that you're being deluded. That's why it's worth at least talking about it and demanding more reciprocity.
6 – Shows excessive interest in other people
Anyone who is in a serious and monogamous relationship shouldn't be showing excessive interest in other people, should they? If you realize this, you've already communicated it, but you still feel uncomfortable to see it happening, maybe that person isn't the least bit concerned about what you feel and, therefore, is deluding you.
7 – Does not show interest beyond intimacy
Does the person show all the interest in the world in romantic, intimate moments and with kisses and sexual intercourse, but doesn't want to know if you had a good day or if you want to talk about how you're feeling? This is a big indication that you are being deluded and put in a relationship solely to meet that person's needs and needs, so it's good to at least try to talk about it.
8 – Escape from dialogue
Whenever you try to approach one of the issues listed here or the other discomforts you feel in this relationship, are you met with aggression or with avoidance? So it gets difficult, right? No healthy relationship can exist without dialogue and acceptance, so it is very important to realize that this may be a sign that you are being deluded!
I was deceived, now what?
If you realized that you were deluded and decided to put an end to this relationship — or if the person who deluded you ended it in a very painful way — it is normal that you are hurting a lot, but you need to deal with it and you will certainly get out of it. situation! Here are some tips for dealing with heartbreak:
1 – Understand and welcome your pain
Don't lessen your pain or allow someone else to do it. Only you know how much it hurts and how traumatic it can be. Embrace your pain, allow it to exist and feel it. If you need to spend a few days licking your wounds, really feeling sadness, allow yourself. But know that you have to get up and move on.
2 – Don’t feel guilty
Once we understand that we have been deceived, everything seems to become clear and it is normal for us to think: “Damn, how stupid was I not to notice!”. But thinking like that isn't fair to you. It would be the same as blaming someone whose cell phone was stolen for walking with their cell phone on the street. It doesn't make sense, does it? If someone has taken advantage of your love and belief in the relationship, that person is wrong. It wasn't and isn't your fault!
3 – Understand that you deserve a lot
We keep hearing that we shouldn't create expectations, but that's very dangerous… If you didn't have expectations, you wouldn't have been deluded and disappointed, right? But maybe he was still stuck in that relationship! So, yes, have expectations of what you expect from a relationship, because that's what will save you from accepting less than you deserve! If you can give a lot of love, there's someone out there who can do the same.
4 – Give it time
Not in the mood to go out and enjoy the single life or do you feel like you'll never be able to love and fall in love again? All good! Don't try to anticipate anything and give it time. In the future, if a relationship has to happen again, it will. So control frustration, anxiety and disappointment. Nobody knows what the future holds!
5 – Build a support network
Suffering alone can be quite painful! That's why it's important to have a support network made up of family and friends who like us and who care about our well-being, because they'll be good ears or even good company when you're feeling down but don't want to talk. Surround yourself with loving people who want to see you looking good and smiling!
6 – Seek psychotherapy
If you have been feeling that it is very painful, that some traumas remain from this relationship or that it is difficult to move on or even live your days with tranquility, it may be interesting to seek the help of a therapist to talk about it and follow this process of healing. lift your head and get up. Don't be ashamed to start therapy, because that's loving yourself above all!
You may also like
- See how there is no such thing as a failed relationship
- Change your life with self-love!
- Find out what a codependent relationship is
Illusions and delusions happen in a unique way, so these are just a few signs. If you suspect that you are being deceived, talk to someone and ask for help! Remember: don't feel shame or guilt for loving! You are not the first nor will you be the last person to experience this situation.
