Yes, you deserve to be happy, despite everything!
Hello my dear friends! Today, I'm going to talk a little about our tendency to look for problems where they don't exist and sabotage our happiness.
Yes, we do this a few times in our lives, everyone has somehow sabotaged themselves. And do you know why we do this? Fault.
Inside our minds, we have a censor that, in psychoanalysis, is called the superego, and he is our defender, our protector and our accuser too. He is not evil, he is necessary and he helps us to walk the line according to our values. It turns out that we have three types of superego: one that is practically absent (let us do what we want), another that is tyrannical (doesn't let us do anything and punishes us) and one that is an educator (which is considerate and guides us). for a lighter and healthier life).
How does it work? He charges according to what we tell him that is right and wrong, our values. And when we think about getting out of line, he warns us: “don't do this, don't say that”.
When we ignore our censor, we can feel guilty for acting against our values. It can be a conscious guilt, which keeps mistreating us every day: “you shouldn't have done that”; and even worse, it can be unconscious guilt, which can lead us to self-sabotage.
Guilt only serves to repent and do different from now on. We can't go back in time and change what we've done. We can ask forgiveness for those we hurt, but we have to forgive ourselves and move on; learn from the “mistake” and move on.
Guilt destroys us. Many times, it was so heavy at the time, that our ego couldn't handle it and threw it to our unconscious so it wouldn't have more access. And we repress and this guilt will guide many of our actions. Because we don't feel worthy of happiness, because we've done something "bad", something "terrible", something "unworthy", we start making choices that take away the opportunity to be happy.
We can sabotage our work by not doing what's expected of us, we can deny a promotion, we can not study for a test we know we could pass, we can fail an interview because we don't deserve the spot. In some cases, we can ruin any relationship, blaming and judging the other, to the point that he can't take it and walk away. And all this is unconscious, to make matters worse.
And why do we feel guilty? Because we think we're so good that we can't go wrong. We tell our censor that we are perfect and he will charge dearly for that perfection. We need to start talking to him, saying that we're not perfect, that we make mistakes, that we're human and that's okay. We need to change our values, friends. And it's a good thing we can do that until the end of our lives. Self-forgiveness is self-love and love for others as well. Because if we judge ourselves and don't accept ourselves, we will do the same in our relationships.
You are a human being like everyone else, full of imperfections, full of shadows. Don't let guilt dominate your life, learn from it to do different at the next opportunity, to apologize and move on. You deserve to be happy, despite the mistakes, it's up to you. Use the error as a guide like “what not to do going forward”, follow.At that moment, you couldn't do it differently, today you wouldn't do it again. And that's okay. Everything is alright! Respect yourself, respect your limits, but follow.
Don't let guilt guide your life and sabotage you, allow yourself to be happy, don't miss the opportunity to learn and grow, be a better person, love yourself and love those who are by your side better.
A big kiss, my friends, and until next time!
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