These concepts become more and more crystallized, so it is important to talk about them.
This myth of romantic love, of the perfect match, soul mate, another being capable of saving our lives and bringing us happiness, just like in fairy tales, refers to platonic love. Platonic love lives in fantasy, it is of the order of idealization, it does not allow the other to present himself as he is. It is a narcissistic love, because the one who loves, loves only his own imaginary creations of the other, presupposes how he is, how he should be.
It is not up to the other to respond to these fantasies, it would always be an impossible and frustrated attempt to relate, because there is no way for the other to become something that is the result of his own production. There will always be something that he lacks, that doesn't fit into his carefully constructed fantasy. So love ends, or ends before it begins, for there was never a possibility of real intimacy. In order for intimacy to occur, it is necessary to understand the existence of the other, that he also brings his life story, his problems, his pains, joys, his desires, he does not live exclusively to satisfy his needs, to bring what he lacks.
When we think about women, as many were created until then, and about social constructions, it becomes easier to understand the anguish around the topic of relationships.
Women are commonly made to believe that they need someone of the opposite sex to complete them, someone stronger, someone who is providing, protecting, loving, and who will bring them all the fulfillment and happiness they need. Without marriage, it is as if the woman has not fulfilled one of her greatest social roles. This becomes more confusing these days, when a woman has more options, more choices, other roles that she needs or wants to fulfill. She may wonder about this maxim. Understanding relationships from another perspective, no longer an imposition, a duty, but a choice.
If an individual projects his ideal of happiness into someone else's hands, he will fail in this arduous task, for no one can bring supreme happiness to another person. It is up to each one to mature, seek their paths, what they want, what they want, take responsibility for their life, understand the faults of the other, as well as their own, and seek healthy relationships, of complicity.
