Have you ever stopped to think what role a woman should assume throughout life, according to patriarchal society? Reflect a little on this. First, a woman must be a symbol of purity, youth and ingenuity. She must be an honorable maiden, who respects and fulfills the wishes of men without question.
After her first menstruation, when she is ready to procreate, a woman must marry a man, bear children and dedicate all her adulthood to them, without losing the youthful beauty she had in her first phase of life, preferably if she wants to continue being perceived as an exemplary woman.
Finally, after a woman has had her children and has assumed her role in society, she loses her usefulness. Now she is no longer an object of pleasure or desire, she cannot bear children and will not arouse a man's will. It is as if she ceased to exist, even though she was alive.
For the Sacred Feminine, however, it is possible to reinterpret the roles that are imposed on a woman, analyzing all the energy of creation, renewal and destruction that she can present. In the Wiccan religion and other Pagan beliefs, this concept is represented by the Triple Goddess, associated with certain phases of the Moon.
During the New Moon and Crescent Moon, the Maiden manifests, who represents purity in a non-literal way. In that case, the Goddess would not be a virgin woman who obeys the orders of men, but a woman who is always seeking knowledge, as if she didn't yet know anything about the world.
The Mother is the second phase of the Goddess, which takes place at the Full Moon. Instead of seeing the woman exclusively as someone who will generate a life, we come to understand that she has the power of creation and protection, at the same time that she can develop maternal affection.
Finally, the Goddess becomes an Elder, during the Waning Moon. At this stage, she is able to transmit the knowledge she has acquired throughout her life, in addition to representing the constant renewal of a woman, who is always adapting to new realities to learn more and more.
It is this period that is most valued by the Triple Goddess, even if it is the most devalued by patriarchal society. A woman who has spent most of her life accumulates knowledge that will not only remain with her, but with all the people she already knows or will meet.
A woman who is in her senior years can be misunderstood as someone who is inflexible, or not open-minded. But think about how many times this woman changed her mind, got in touch with new perspectives on the world, and then formed a stance. Remember all the times she is open to dialogue to always keep learning, at the same time she shares what she knows.
During old age, a woman will have the ability to teach and still to learn. She will be able to renew herself with every conversation she has and with every person she meets. Many times she won't be right in everything she thinks, but she will have the maturity and wisdom to understand it and then change.
The Elder, a mature and experienced woman, also has the scars on her body that mark her history and her privilege of living for so long: wrinkles and gray hair. In addition to all the learning she carries, she also brings new meanings to beauty, showing that getting old is beautiful, showing the world everything we've already experienced.
In a reality like the one we live in, however, maintaining a youthful beauty that fits the standards is essential for a woman. She must keep her skin smooth, blemish-free, firm, wrinkle-free and looking the same as she did when she was a teenager. Her hair, which marks old age when it is white, must be dyed with each new silver thread that appears.
The attachment to women's appearance is what prevents them from being understood as people who can transmit knowledge, experiences and stories, and who can learn and renew themselves. Notice how different the attention that black, fat, homosexual, transgender and elderly women receive compared to women who are within the standards of beauty.
Speaking specifically about old age, we have a fact: a woman is not heard if she does not preserve the aspect of youth. She is seen as someone who doesn't take care of herself, who doesn't love herself, who doesn't dedicate herself to appearance as much as she should. All the references we have about female beauty are based on women who are in their 20s, and even older celebrities undergo cosmetic procedures to regain their youth.
But why is a woman's youth so much more attractive and interesting than old age, when she has more knowledge to share, when she understands more about life and can renew herself more easily?
According to the concepts of patriarchy, a woman should not be intelligent or intellectually superior to a man. In fact, a woman should only be beautiful and useful to men when it comes to sexual matters and when it comes to keeping a clean house, for example. Although this concept is very old-fashioned, it is what reigns in our imagination.
Therefore, it is not interesting for society that a woman has knowledge to share, because she should not express her thoughts, her ideas and her beliefs. The less she knows and the less she can take a stand against the injustices she suffers, the better off it will be for men. What matters is that the woman is a delight for the eyes of others, as a decorative object.
These are the principles taught to women unconsciously by the media and even by people who are part of their social circles and who were also educated in this way. They are aware that getting older will make them less attractive and more invisible to society, so they undergo numerous procedures to hide the appearance they have acquired over time.
As beauty standards are constructed in order to preserve the concepts that society creates, it is determined that the aging of a woman is not something sexy. She is no longer beautiful, that is, she loses the only feature that men find interesting. Note how this does not apply to representatives of the male gender, since in their case it is thought that the older they are, the more virile, wise and attractive they become.
A simple way to understand how this phenomenon is different for men and women is to look at gray hair. Let's see how this manifests itself in our society and around the world?
White hair
The idea of not having one's roots covered by a color, such as brown, red or blonde, already terrifies women, because they know that it promotes the exclusion of each one from society. For men, however, gray hair can be assumed without problems, because it shows that they are mature, intelligent, wise – and that they are still beautiful.
When a woman decides to free herself from the standards that society imposes, showing that she is much more than her appearance and that the beauty she exudes comes from the knowledge she has acquired and the marks her body carries, then she becomes an Elder. .
Accepting aging is not an easy task in a society that so disrespects and belittles women who are not afraid to assume who they are and how they are, but this effort is essential so that these stereotypes of eternal youth are gradually dissolved into silver hair at the end of the day. show.
The process of making gray hair appear doesn't have to happen overnight, because hair doesn't come out overnight, all at once. See your first gray hair as a sign that you are learning and becoming able to share your experiences with other women and men alike.
Start accepting your silver hair by understanding what it represents about you and your path. Your body is not your enemy, it is your condition of existence. Your white hair doesn't want to harm you, they want to help you evolve, renew yourself, look at yourself in a totally different way from what society preaches.
Recognize the beauty of having a touch of the Moon on your head. Think about how young women will be inspired by your courage to show what your hair really is; motivate them to accept themselves as they are. Although society is still patriarchal, there are many people willing to break out of this system of oppression, and they will certainly admire it.
You will be afraid of the comments you may hear during your process of recognizing your essence. You'll want to dye your hair when someone tells you to or when comments about your appearance are too cruel. It is at this time that you must use the wisdom that you have accumulated throughout your life.
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Question: Whose hair belongs to? Who is the only person who needs to like them? Why hide a natural dye, worked by time? What can you gain by showing that you are not afraid to grow old, to share stories and to be reunited with your beauty? It is questions like these that will show that your spiritual journey still has a lot to conquer.
From there you will realize that, little by little, the white wires no longer bother you. You will realize that it doesn't make sense to spend so much money to cover what is natural, which is a symbol of victory over death and a very well spent life. Gray hair is your strength and tells the world that you are a strong, courageous woman, true to yourself and full of confidence. Make this change for yourself and for other women looking for new examples of beauty!
