You know that worrying idea, that makes you anxious, that bothers you, that diminishes you, but that still hammers your mind nonstop, even if you try to run away? This is an obsessive thought, which can either be a symptom of a more serious problem or a nuisance in its own right.
Obsessive thoughts can destroy our mental health, damage our relationships, our self-esteem, our potential and our ability to accomplish goals. But why do they happen, and what can we do to deal with them? Let's understand!
What are obsessive thoughts?
You may have heard about OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), that problem that makes a person obsessive with tasks and activities, such as cleaning a surface that is already clean, turning switches on and off a number of times, among many others. behaviors.
A similar effect happens with obsessive thoughts. They just come, even if we know they don't reflect a truth, even if we try to run away from them, inevitably they come. And these thoughts come in many forms and can affect us in many ways. Here are some examples, among many others that can catch us on a daily basis:
— 'I'm not attractive.'
— "They don't think I'm an interesting person."
— “I don’t have the ability/ability to do that.”
— “I am a complete failure.”
— “I don't deserve the happiness I'm living.”
— “Everything is going to go wrong soon.”
In general, obsessive thoughts cause anxiety (catastrophic thoughts), low self-esteem (self-deprecating thoughts), and lack of self-recognition (distorted thoughts).
What characterizes obsessive thinking?
At one point or another in our lives, eventually we all have problems caused by anxiety, low self-esteem, or a lack of recognition of our abilities. So this is normal. No one feels attractive all the time, an accumulator of victories and successes, or capable of handling everything.
But the problem of obsessive thinking happens when these ideas become so frequent that you believe them and distort your view of yourself. By thinking so much that you are incapable of doing something, in the end you will really be incapable of doing it.
Also, obsessive thinking is never beneficial. And this is important to point out. Some critical and self-critical thoughts help us to grow, mature and evolve. But when self-criticism is heavy, too frequent, or distorted, it ceases to be of any benefit.
Additionally, check out other characteristics of obsessive thoughts (there are several others, but these can describe the problem):
— Occur several times a day/week.
— Can be generated by triggers (people, environments, situations, conversations).
— They get in the way of concentration, as they 'take control' of the mind.
“If analyzed rationally, your logic is dubious.
— They often appear “out of nowhere” and “make a home”.
— They are usually related to trauma.
— They tend to present possibilities of catastrophic consequences.
— They cause excessive and harmful self-criticism.
What causes obsessive thoughts?
Each case is different, and we react in a very unique and individual way to everything that happens to us. Therefore, only a psychologist can monitor your condition and understand where your obsessive thoughts come from and what causes them, but we can explore some possibilities.
Trauma, for example, is a major cause of obsessive thoughts. People who have been bullied for their appearance may have the obsessive thought that they are unattractive. People who have suffered a betrayal can suffer from insecurity and fear of abandonment as obsessive thoughts, among others.
Moments of stress, fear and anxiety are also causes of obsessive thoughts. Imagining that you are unable to perform a task you are struggling with, fear of being “alone forever” because you are not in a loving relationship, fear of a catastrophic future just because something has gone wrong in the present, and so on.
Relationships also cause obsessive thoughts. Absurd and exaggerated charges from the family cause a feeling of incapacity. Emotional abuse in affective relationships causes the obsessive feeling and thinking that we are not enough for our partners, and so on.
Anyway, the way we evaluate ourselves, our self-esteem, our values ​​and beliefs, our traumas and past experiences, what we think would be good for us… in short, all this influences our obsessive thoughts.
It's just important to point out that everyone has scary, anxious or unwanted thoughts in moments of insecurity. But these thoughts pass, and then we realize how “silly” they were. When they never go away, they are obsessive thoughts.
Problems related to obsessive thoughts
As with many psychological disorders, obsessive thinking is both a symptom and a cause of some mental health problems. A depressed person, for example, may have obsessive thoughts of insecurity. But obsessive thoughts of insecurity can make a person depressed.
That is, both cases (cause and symptom) are true and do not cancel each other out. Check out a list of psychological disorders that can be both caused by obsessive thoughts and can be the explanation behind them:
- Depression
- Baby blues
- Panic Syndrome
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
- Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- accumulation disorder
- Social phobia
- Eating disorders
How to deal with obsessive thoughts?
First of all, know that obsessive thoughts are not normal thoughts. That is, they are a psychological disorder or symptom of one. Therefore, it is best to seek help from a psychologist to deal with this issue. But you can take steps to combat your obsessive thoughts. See below.
1 – Understand what the triggers are
Do your obsessive thoughts start when you interact with someone, are exposed to a situation, remember something from the past, project something into the future, among other situations? Identifying if there is a trigger is a good first step in predicting when they will start, and running away or fighting it.
2 – Write down those thoughts
Take this test. Write down one of your obsessive thoughts and moments later, when they are no longer bothering you, read what you wrote. Realize how, in most cases, this thought will sound absurd, irrational and illogical. Facing the lie that he is becomes a good way to deconstruct him.
3 – “Talk” with your thoughts
Try to question and dialogue with your obsessive thoughts. If you think you are incapable of doing something, ask yourself: why? If you don't have a reason, the obsessive thought will lose strength; if you have a why, at least you will know how to act to feel empowered.
4 – Move to change it (if you can)
And that's where this advice comes in: change, if possible. Obsessive thinking goes hand in hand with procrastination. We often perceive things in ourselves and in our routine that cause anxiety, sadness, fear, insecurity, among others, and we end up succumbing to it, instead of fighting it. Go ahead and fight, change!
5 – Occupy your mind
When you find yourself being taken over and engulfed by these thoughts, shift your focus and focus on another activity. A conversation, a movie, a game, a book, caring for your pets… In short, break the cycle of obsessive thinking by putting your time and mental energy on other things.
6 – Get your body moving
Have you ever felt mental and psychological relief from feeling tired after physical activity? Putting the body in motion, practicing a sport or a simple walk, for example, is a very effective way to combat obsessive thoughts.
7 – Talk to a friend or family member
Being welcomed by someone who knows you can't be summed up by your fears, anxieties, anxieties and insecurities is essential for you to remember who you are and that it all doesn't sum up your true essence. So look for your support network whenever obsessive thoughts take over.
8 – Do psychotherapy
Taking therapy allows us to explore the paths of who we are, what drives us to be who we are, and what we can do to fix, correct, accept or deal with who we are and with life. Therefore, psychotherapy can help a lot in dealing with your obsessive thoughts. Invest in it!
You may also like
- Suffering from obsessive behaviors
- Learn more about OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
- What is obsession? Do I have? And if I have? How do I free myself?
- Learn how physical exercises can help you revitalize your mind
- Here are 10 steps to taking control of your mind
Anyway, obsessive thoughts can be very uncomfortable, decrease our self-esteem, our well-being and our quality of life, but they can be fought so that we have a better and more peaceful life. So invest in your mental health, taking care of yourself and your psychological state. You will beat this!
