I understood that people's lives are like quotation marks, “at a moment it opens and sometimes, unexpectedly, it closes”. And we are all that stands between them. My lessons on some relevant life issues made more sense on the day of Mom's departure, each person who was there told me a story of how she became a woman of Valor (with a capital V, even). Too bad we only find out about this after the tram passes and takes us. But still, I'd rather they say: “oh, what a pity he left, he was a good person” than: “Wow, that one… it's too late!”.
To become a chic person you need to have values and not price.
Value has nothing to do with degrees, titles, properties, material goods, bank balance, etc. These are all considered monetary and temporary values. When we make our way through, everything will remain here, and they say the gate to heaven is very narrow. And at that moment when we are almost boarding, I imagine that all we will wish for is to have another warm hand within our reach to hold and, thus, create the courage and strength to go...
Our children must be nurtured with Values so they don't go through so many hardships in life. They must learn as soon as possible that, under any circumstances, fame always comes before the individual. Whether at school, church, soccer school, ballet, English course, friends or enemies. In the future, two days at the new job will be enough for everyone to “know them and vice versa”. Depending on the fame created, it becomes heavy luggage to be carried throughout life, not counting the luggage we inherited. Sometimes, I tell mine to mine, in order to supply them with some internal resources, but only they will be able to create their own chests of values, based on the attitudes chosen by them.
When I was in college, money was always counted. There was a time when my mother deposited the week's money in the ATM, thinking I could withdraw it instantly. That day I had a test and I couldn't miss it, my friends had already gone to college and my parents were miles away from me, so I stopped and thought about what I should do. I decided to go down to the lobby of the building where I lived and tell my dilemma, but before I could finish, I could hear the solution coming from a Northeastern accent: “take this 10 reais note here for you to eat a snack, I'll manage around here ( it was the money he had for lunch) and I'm going to ask Dona Maria (cleaner) to lend him the bus passes, she has a card that she receives from the condominium, wait a minute”.
Yes, I was saved in my moment of extreme need and almost despair by two people who have values that, when used in favor of the other, have the power to transform something small into great, or even nothing in everything.
In those formative times I acquired a lot of learning, some academics with my illustrious and dear PhD masters, and many others at the university of life.
That's why I always ponder with my children, it's no use speaking 4 languages if you don't use at least one of them to say 'good morning' to someone.
Make visual communication and use the magic words, this feature always works, opens doors, smiles and possibilities; and your juice will always be at the right point of ice and sugar, your spaghetti will always come faster and with much more grated cheese.
People are more than the positions they occupy, they are more than the titles they carry, they are more than numbers in banks, they are more than illnesses in the hospital.
Many colleagues in the medical field do not treat people, but only diseases.
When I was an intern at the Medical Clinic, I noticed that the word inappetence (meaning: loss of appetite, reduction of the desire to eat) was being registered with some frequency in a man's medical record. The multidisciplinary group that discussed the case had been investigating the possible causes for that behavior and had been naming the probabilities with nomenclature of medical terms. One day I decided to go there to meet the 'person' of the inappetizing man. As soon as he noticed my approach, he covered his head with the sheet, I understood that he didn't want to talk, but still, I got close and called him by name, asking if there was anything I could help him with. He uncovered his head and looked at me suspiciously, said he had been hospitalized for 5 days and I was the first person who called him by name, and not just by patient in bed 12. I didn't have to ask the reason for his lack of appetite, because as soon as he opened mouth to communicate, I noticed the lack of teeth. The diet he received was a 'general' diet, which contained solid pieces, such as pot meat, for example. He asked me, if possible, for noodle soup with ground beef, because he was starving, and so the mystery of inappetence seemed to have been solved. The dear Dr. from the Medical Clinic made a very ugly face at me, and I don't think it was from hunger, when I suggested the possible cause to him… I could read his thoughts by his facial expressions: “who does this Nutrition intern think she is?”.
I'm nothing! Or rather, the same thing as everyone else, a tiny particle in this vast and intangible Universe, which will turn to dust one day. We are so fleeting, that we are not even, we are here...
If it's already complicated for adults to know how to deal with it, imagine for a child or young person? Who searches for a record in his mind that serves as a parameter of a Value situation, but only finds facts that are based on values. And then it gets lost. And he misses the infinite opportunity to learn more, because he thinks he already knows everything. Many are not trained and do not even know how to use the magic words, and thus are unaware of their effects. If we were to live in a private dome without needing anyone, there would be no purpose in terms of sharing our space with 7,53 billion people. In view of this, our coexistence would become more pleasant on a daily basis if we adopted, in practice, what that ready-made phrase suggests: “kindness generates kindness”; this is the law that moves the Universe, which always returns what we throw at it.
I imagine my trajectory of existence as a road.
There are days when walking through it is very difficult, obstacles appear, huge rocks, winding curves; there are days when the sun burns on my back, there are days when I have to face storms, sometimes I walk for long stretches with fog and without seeing the horizon, absolutely alone and without the possibility of a ride... situations like this happen to me and also to you, It's all part of the journey...
But I try, regardless of whether the day is sunny or cloudy, to go sowing seeds on this path, thinking that one day I will have to return by this road and I would like to find some flowers on its side, not just stones.
Once, in the office, I was clinically accompanying an elderly couple, both diabetics with some complications, who were referred by the Endocrinologist. They couldn't normalize their glucose levels, and consequently one of them couldn't adjust the insulin dose. After a while, halfway through, they lost their health insurance and went to say goodbye to me…
I thought for a moment, I knew they still needed tracking and monitoring and would surely get lost again. So, I suggested the following: “okay, you'll keep coming, ok?”. The little old man, very thin, simple, but of remarkable honesty, said with a serious face: “Dr., we cannot pay, this is your job, we will not accept to come without paying, even with Mrs. offering.”
I realized that I hurt that gentleman's dignity by noticing his embarrassment. So, I tried to fix it: “and who says they won't pay?”. Knowing that they were farmers and lived on a small production of organic food, I added: “I accept eggs, oranges, carrots, tomatoes or cabbage, how about that?!”.
The couple looked at each other as if they were communicating and coming to a common agreement; and, smiling, they replied: “if this is not going to be bad for you, we accepted your proposal, we were already worried because this business is too complicated for our understanding.”
Well, I never went to the fair again after that day. The following week, he arrived at the entrance of the building where I was serving a huge basket, it's not a force of expression, it was really huge; it contained eggs, milk, cheeses, jams and jams, sweets, vegetables, fruits, corn, beans, ground coffee, etc… I almost cried when I saw all that. Everything was neatly arranged in the basket, the vegetables still breathed so fresh and alive. The delicacies, carefully packaged, were small pieces made by the lady and that melted in your mouth, the jars had on their lids little pieces of checkered fabric topped with a red ribbon. I was blown away by the details…everything planted, harvested and made by them.
The 'payment' surprised me, and validated for me the importance of knowing how to serve. Gratitude is a delicious dish that is eaten hot, tasting each portion…
I don't remember a situation where I regretted being kind.
Even in those more hostile situations, where an attendant doesn't feel like answering... the smile tactic always has some effect. On the other hand, when I got into the other's vibe, I felt bad. The cost and benefit of wanting to be right, instead of peace, is not worth it, if you pay a high price. We can definitely choose to be filters or sponges in situations.
Putting yourself in the other person's shoes also helps in a few hours. At the hospital, I dealt with impatient patients, who did not collaborate with me, the nursing staff, or anyone else… but I thought: “it is certainly tedious to stay here looking at the ceiling all day and still feeling pain”. In order to alleviate this, in the meetings with the team I asked the cooks to make the meals thinking they were to feed their own children, or sick parents, husbands or sisters; and to the maids, to enter the rooms always smiling. The only pleasant moment left for these patients was mealtime. And even following so many dietary restrictions, we could make a difference in the lives of those people who were under our care, using seasonings such as: love, cordiality, delicacy, etc... “So, let's change this concept of 'hospital food' ”, it said.
We have the ability to change ourselves and everything around us, we just need to train and believe in it. We are pure energy and we emanate it wherever we go. There are people with whom it is nice to share a space or moment, they fill; but there are others that look more like a black hole. Suckers are usually people not grateful to life, and they live to complain about everything, because they feel an existential void that is not filled with anything.
As I wrote these lines, I got some insights, as if pieces were being put together, so I realized that since my professional quotes opened, I've been receiving training lessons on the most diverse types of Values. I would have to experience many situations that would bring out my sensitivity, as it was already part of the plan to entrust the lives of small beings into my hands; these being more perceptive, emotionally evolved and capable of capturing any change in mood, lie or pretense. The smaller they are, the more they are preserved in their original formula, so the language of love is always well understood. Then, as they grow in stature, they are adulterated, but if within themselves they can count on solid pillars of Values, they will not surrender or sell for small values.
When my quotes are about to be closed, I want to look back and realize that, despite the stumbles I took while walking on the road and the times I fell, I did well to get up; and that, somehow, I knew how to fill them in well…
And the magic formula of happiness is not at the beginning or at the end, but… in the middle. Fill in your “……..”.You may like other articles by this author. Also check out: The Margins of Life.
