Many people are afraid of being alone, without a partner, and end up resigning themselves to empty relationships or the feeling of inferiority and the feeling of having failed in the mission of finding a person to walk with.
As the 12th of June approaches, couples become the central theme of advertisements and reports. Many stores and restaurants adopt a themed decor and launch promotions to be enjoyed as a couple.
It is common for people unhappy with their situation, whether they are single or in a relationship, at this time of year to be sad or angry. All the exposure and appreciation of romantic love makes the discomfort more evident and turns a small annoyance into sadness or anger.
Why do we look for a person to complete us?
We learn from childhood that our happiness is linked to the approval of other people. First from our parents and family, then from teachers and schoolmates. We don't learn to approve and accept ourselves.
Throughout life, we are not used to taking care and giving proper attention to our emotions. We care a lot about the health of our body, but not so much about our psychological health.
As a result of this process, we reach adulthood always needing the approval of others. So we're always looking in relationships for someone to give us the love and approval that we've learned to look for in others.
What is the result of this?
If what we lack is self-love and self-esteem, the affection and attention of others will never be enough. As a result, relationships become insufficient and being single becomes synonymous with loneliness and sadness.
When we are unaccompanied, we enter into a constant search for relationships or fleeting partners who approve of us and enjoy our company. We don't want to be alone, after all, that would mean being in the company of ourselves and we don't learn to enjoy that company.
We relate, we go into a search for praise, affection and attention, and often what we receive is not enough. As a consequence, some relationships become a burden carried by the couple for fear of loneliness. Other times we leave one relationship and enter another, but the problems persist.
Some people believe that the problem is their partners, others develop a feeling of inferiority and feel that they are not worthy or deserving of love and affection.
Why does the situation become more difficult at this time of year?
No matter how bad the situation is, we get used to it and settle for living dissatisfied. We either ignore the problem in the hope that it will resolve itself or we choose to believe it doesn't exist.
When our attention is focused on other things, it becomes easier to deal with our discomfort. However, at times when everything around us makes our attention turn to the issue, it becomes necessary to face it and we are not always prepared for it.
How to solve this situation?
A problem that is yours will not be solved by others. Therefore, the only person who can assuage your feeling of loneliness and supply the need for affection and attention is yourself.
Start enjoying your own company, set aside moments of your week to be with yourself and make the effort to make these moments pleasant, choose a program that you like and enjoy every moment of it: go for a walk in a pleasant place, watch a presentation, read a good book, watch a movie or prepare a nice dinner.
You may also like
- Before being a couple, I need to be just me
- With you I learned that there are new and better emotions
- 15 Things Healthy Couples Do
Try to understand at what point in your history you started to believe that you needed other people's approval and change your thinking pattern. The Psychologist is a person who can help you make this reflection, understand the situation you are experiencing and recover your self-esteem.
When you achieve a good relationship with yourself, being alone will not be a problem and your relationships will be smoother and more peaceful.
