Found an abandoned field. The broken fence, the pale, scrawny, thirsty, parched plants. Flowers ruffled, saddened. The weeds, dominated the field, robust, commanding and devouring the beauty of yore.
The doorknob, rusted, dangling from a careless door, faded by time, neglect and helplessness. How long have I not been here? What will they think of me? How many times has that thought paralyzed her: "Everyone thinks I'm a failure." And, most of the time, there was no certification of these thoughts, but still, it was enough to demobilize, weaken, demotivate, abandon the path. He shakes his head, warning that thought that, although it is present, it does not represent, at this moment, a reason for giving up. Some regret, when, quickly, memories swarm bringing memories of giving up. Moment of battle between what was and what decides to become. He remembers the reasons for being here and now, all the preparation for this moment, the conviction and determination he brought with him. Look up and know you're not alone. She looks inside and recognizes the inner strength that brought her and the positive crowd, from dear people, that she carries in her heart. He takes a deep breath, lifts his head and decides to move forward.
Looking at the garden, memories of the happy child emerge. Who did not label with negative adjectives, neither to himself nor to the other. She knew how to value efforts, admire positive achievements, hers or others. And the sun was enough, or the rain, the wind, the stars, the moon, the flowers, the ants, the birds, the mud, everything was reason for fun, delight and curiosity. The enchantment of learning, the different knowledge throughout the day, sharing discoveries, imagining, dreaming, inventing, interacting with everything and everyone around you. She felt integrated, whole. There was no fear of the future, in ominous and gloomy predictions. She looked to the future as a field of infinite possibilities. Life pulsed intensely, vibrantly. I saw the girl running, inventing toys, playing games, recycling, reusing, reusing, turning the stick into a magic wand, and that was happiness, fun and art. With creativity in motion there was no room for catastrophizing. The falls, accompanied by deep, sometimes dramatic crying, the annoyance of having to stop playing, of facing the obstacle, but she would soon be ready for the next prank, treats and discoveries. The purpose was clear, explicit, experienced with every breath: to grow, advance, flow, develop with joy, living together, giving and receiving, cooperating.
The rusty handle made it difficult to open the door. How long has it been closed, without looking at the garden, without being enchanted, discovering, playing? She could just stand there, frozen by negative mental filters where she focused exclusively on the negatives and rarely noticed the positives. She chose to look different. She saw the doorknob and saw the beauty beyond the rust, the design, the details, the guardian strength. The door, tall, strong, also caught his attention. She felt joy in being able to identify the positive aspects. She glanced at the garden and saw the fruit trees, some with fruit ready to be tasted. She smiled.
The door opened and revealed a beautiful setting, with sunlight streaming through the dust on the windows. Ample space, possible. At that moment, he realized how unfair he has been to himself, attributing failure in everything he does, overgeneralizing, disqualifying victories and achievements. Despite the dust, the paint on the walls worn away, the ceiling revealed bits of sky. Despite the rubbish and rubbish scattered around the rooms, it was still a beautiful, inviting space. “It wasn't all a waste of time, I'm here and I can take care of you. I want to take care of you." The “shoulds” and “musts” he decided to put aside, not listen, not feed. “Important is now. I am here."
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Being present, with focus and determination, determined not to get lost in blame, attributed to oneself or others, remorse, fears and the like, was enough to awaken the will to organize, reform, care, reconcile, assume. Hands on, no comparisons. He found out how much time, resources and energy he wasted, comparing himself to others, focusing on the neighbor's grass, belittling his own. And before the “what if…?” to flood his thoughts and demobilize the decision, he took a deep breath, looking up, connecting, closed his eyes for a few moments, in strengthening prayer. She opened the windows, the doors stuck and, without haste, felt the fresh air, airing every corner, felt the house breathe, bathing in sunshine and fresh air. She recognized the house, the house saw her. Reconciliation. What a relief not to judge, criticize, accuse, condemn. What a relief to just accept reality, rest in the truth. Calm the fury of rejection, self-abandonment and self-sabotage. A time to savor this level. A self-hug to celebrate.
Picked up trash, disposed of rubbish. And, little by little, with determination and persistence, a new, healthier and more beautiful home emerged. He chose new colors, painted the doors and windows, changed the lock, invited the child to “make art”, color the walls, fill every corner of the house with the sweetest laugh of the child who created, imagine, expand, smile again. The house, pink with lilac polka dots — why not?! — was alive again.
The garden. Leaves, tree bark, weeds. Some of them are difficult to pull off. Looking at the house, now renovated, in her own way, she felt even more motivation and willingness to move on. Gradually, the garden began to reappear. The land gained fertilizer, harrow and fresh water. Each plant was delicately pruned and new seeds took up the empty space left by the weeds. The beauty of the garden was re-emerging.
The fence, renovated, gained color. A swing on the tree to remember that playing is good, and a colorful bench “at the foot” of the tree to taste the succulent fruits now grown, reminded us of merit and self-worth. She collected some fruits, decorated a basket with fruits and flowers, to share and share, in a gesture of kindness and gratitude. Many contributed to make this moment possible.
The house is ready for a new cycle and can receive decoration, objects, sounds, flavors, aromas. Choose every detail of the inner temple. Include renewed mindset and attitudes for a new time.
You are back in your comfort, your Sacred Place, your inner home. Assuming the responsibility and joy of keeping this place healthy, cared for, growing, at peace.
Is present. He is the protagonist.
