To live is to relate.
All the time we are relating to people, things, etc.
Affective relationship is really the greatest school of life. In it, we can face our fears, our shadows and evolve or escape and be exempt from the challenges, but also giving up the joys and achievements for two.
Bert Hellinger, who developed the family constellation approach, says that in order for a relationship to work, a balance between giving and receiving is necessary.
Dr. Pedro Grisa, mentor of the Grisa System, always told me that the relationship is only worthwhile if together, both are happier than alone.
We live in an era of great diversity. In the past, it was easier to find a person with the same tastes, the same customs, the same needs, but there were few challenges and learning in this regard.
Today, we have at our disposal a wide range of options, this can be considered by some as a bad thing, but I believe it brought us closer to our heart, allowing us to know ourselves better and thus make choices based on what we feel and not more of a need or convenience.
Our biggest mistake is to think that the neighbor's grass is greener than ours, or that the other comes to supply something we lack. Social networks have been stimulating this feeling a lot and believe it or not, I have already assisted people who are depressed for this reason. Because they thought something was wrong with them when they looked at pictures of happy people on social media.
I have a friend who always says: “everyone knows the pain and delight of being what they are”.
It is difficult to be transparent and honest when, when relating to someone, we either overestimate or underestimate the person too much.
We all have flaws and strengths. As humans, we are dual beings and the reason we are here is to evolve and seek to live a full life in harmony with everything and everyone.
In order for the relationship to work, balancing giving and receiving and together being happier, as mentioned by the wise authors cited, it is necessary to step down or take the person off the pedestal that we put him on when we overestimate his qualities or his defects.
Eye to eye, transparency, honesty, down to earth, trust, respect and dialogue. The quest to evolve, collaborate with the evolution of the other and appreciate the qualities are the keys for those who intend to relate.
It is necessary to know how to listen to the heart, so it is possible to be co-creators of good relationships and appreciate the wonders of a life together.
