In my clinical experience as a psychologist and psychotherapist at the outpatient clinic for violence and victims of child sexual abuse in the Municipality of São Caetano do Sul, working together with the Police Stations, Creas, Guardianship Council and Criminal Justice and the Childhood and Youth Court. , I could see that the reality is a little different from this hysterical and mediatic picture of Pedophilia and Child Sexual Abuse: “the big bad wolf” is usually not on the streets, but lives inside the house with the children.
To ensure the logic of this proposed argument, I will make some clarifications about the difference between the individual with a mental illness called pedophilia, called by psychiatry and psychology today, and the individual who clinically is not a carrier of pedophilia, but “the characterless one”. and unscrupulous” who lives at home with the children, or even has a degree of kinship (uncles, cousins, brothers, grandparents, godparents, father, stepfather, stepmother, aunt, etc.), or has some social and professional facility (children's teacher, swimming, neighbors, candy seller, van driver, doctor, psychologist, etc.), or obtains some hierarchical or religious degree of power in the child (priest, church pastor, teachers, etc). And, thus, they approach the child in a physical, social, religious or psychic way to obtain the final physical contact and their immediate pleasure.
In the arduous task of talking about Pedophilia and Child Sexual Abuse, I will use scientific concepts from current Psychiatry and Psychology and a little knowledge of Theology, Psychoanalysis, Philosophy and Legal Sciences, with their implications in the areas of Public Health, Mental Health, child psychic development and reflexes in social areas (health, religious and legal), in order to try to define the differentiation between a mental illness called Pedophilia as a counterpoint to the act of sexually abusing a child.
First, we have to define the concept of Pedophilia by current Psychiatry:
1 – Mental Illness;
2 – Perversion that leads an individual to feel sexually attracted to children;
3 – Effective practice of sexual acts with children (genital stimulation, sensory caresses, coitus, etc.).
According to the World Health Organization, Pedophilia is a disease in which the individual has a psychological disorder, thus presenting a desire, fantasy and/or sexual stimulation for children or prepubescents. For this, necessarily, the pedophile does not need to have physical contact or even commit the act of child sexual abuse itself.
To be a pedophile, it is necessary that the individual has only and exclusively attraction or desire for children. Not necessarily being a pedophile means that the person committed the crime of child sexual abuse. Often the condition stays in your mind and doesn't go into the act itself. Unlike the person, male or female, who abuses a child for base reasons or lack of character and also feels desire and attraction for adults, whether male or female.
Child sexual abuse does not presuppose that the individual is necessarily a carrier of pedophilia disorder. It is any person who feels sexual desire and sexual attraction also for adults, but who has no character criteria, much less guilt, to obtain sexual pleasure, also turning to the libido and the body itself of children. and teenagers to consciously find some kind of pleasure.
This can and usually happens with children close to the abuser, such as a family member, school, church, etc. And also, in addition to the degree of kinship with the victim, he has an easy and constant social contact or a hierarchical position of power with the child.
It is obvious that the sexual abuser is naturally “hidden” behind a so-called “perfect” family, without major problems. It is an individual who is mostly male, heterosexual, father of children, religious and, sometimes, in good economic and financial condition and an unblemished reputation in society.
By this I mean that not every child sex abuser is a pedophile and that not every pedophile commits the act in their life of sexually abusing a child!
I'll explain myself: the individual with pedophilia is a psychiatric patient, subject to treatment, who only feels desire for children or pre-adolescents and who often hides behind adequate and socially accepted sexual behavior. It means that the pedophile feels desire for children (something intrinsic and subjective) and does not always turn it into an act, behavior of physically or verbally abusing a child.
Therefore, often, because it is something internal, psychic, which happens only in the pedophile's mind, if he does not tell anyone and does not even commit the crime of sexually abusing children, obviously only he knows that he suffers. illness and should seek psychiatric medical treatment and psychotherapy. And if, by chance, he commits such a crime of sexually abusing the child (either by act, sexual or verbal exposure), he must be placed in a judicial asylum as a protective measure, and not in a common prison, because it is a psychiatric illness.
On the other hand, the human being who sexually abuses minors, unlike the pedophile, whether male or female (although we have more or less 95% of male abusers to 5% of female abusers in my clinical experience), is a person who is not a pedophile. and who also feels sexual desire for adults, but who, in order to obtain his pleasure, also uses children to satisfy his sexual pleasure, however disgusting it may seem. It is a reality hidden and circumvented by social and religious standards.
At this point, it is clear that the present article: “Pedophilia: the big bad wolf lives inside the house”, has as main objective to try to subtract the stigma of the pedophile and show that he has a mental disorder and that he should be treated medically. -psychiatric and with psychological treatment and that, in case of committing the crime, the act of messing with children, must legally go to a judicial asylum, for being unimputable, and not to a penitentiary. Being a carrier of pedophilia is not a crime, but a mental illness, the crime consists of the act of sexually abusing children!
The pedophile itself can feel great psychic suffering, guilt and, at times, try to punish themselves (in some cases even commit suicide). Unlike the psychopathic person, today called a sociopath, who does not feel guilt or need for punishment.
The person who is close to the child and abuses him, if he is not a pedophile, and believe me, this happens a lot, maybe 90% of the cases of sexual abuse are committed by these people who are not sick, but without character, without criteria. , live next to the children and hide behind the social mask and religion and are often the ones who want justice and punishment in relation to the pedophile.
In this personal experience of being a psychotherapist for children victims of child sexual abuse for more than ten years, I was able to scientifically and clinically observe some important factors:
1 – Commonly, the person who sexually abuses children is someone familiar or close to them, such as: father, stepfather, aunt, brothers, cousins, stepmother, mother, church pastors, priests, teachers, etc.;
2 – There is always some kind of “emotional blackmail” linked to the sexual abuse of the child with an alleged severe punishment if the child reports what happened;
3 – Therefore, the child is obliged to remain silent and consent to the repetition of the act, under penalty of severe punishment from the aggressor with her or with someone the child loves or values;
4 – Most of the aggressors are at home or within the family circle and with good relationships in the family, church or society and are not on the street as the sensationalist press preaches;
5 – The abuse almost never occurs once, but repeatedly with the same aggressor and the same child;
6 – The fact that the sexual offender usually hides behind a social reputation with unblemished morals towards others, makes him able to repeat the acts without punishment. When the subject of child sexual abuse comes up, they only condemn pedophiles and feel hidden and safe. Are they psychopaths? Don't feel guilty? Or do they believe that there will never be an act or that justice is too slow and retrograde?
7 – The deficiency of the judicial and police system can also be due to the lack of flagrant and physical traces in these cases of child sexual abuse. The person does it without violence, sometimes with the pretext of being affectionate with the victims and, therefore, there are procedural and criminal difficulties in proving what happened. Not to mention the incompetence of the Spanish criminal justice system;
8 – Even in cases of flagrante delicto, depending on who the aggressor is, the person who should protect the child, such as the mother, father, etc. in his testimony and in the criminal proceedings;
9 – Sometimes caresses and abuse are done so “affectionately” that the child, depending on his tender age, does not realize what is happening;
10 – Children's psychic traumas can be irreversible in the child's development. When combined with religious or incest issues, child sexual abuse can bring psychic and psychiatric damage throughout the adult life of this being.
These are just some clinical and legal observations on this taboo and stigmatized topic.
“Pedophilia: the big bad wolf lives inside the house” is the beginning of a reflection on this topic so dense, controversial and hypocritically covered up, which I intend to continue writing and reflecting on a series of articles on the same topic. At this point, it only serves to warn that the “bad wolf” lives inside the house, and not outside as the press propagates. In this way, we must be more careful and pay attention to what happens to our children that are under our noses.
