“Navigating is necessary, living is not necessary (…)” Fernando Pessoa was so brilliant in this poem, which gives us several possibilities for reading! So, in this text I will share my interpretation of this simple and complex phrase!
Sailing is necessary! Yes, to navigate it is necessary to have Precision! Route accuracy. It takes a lot of calculations for the vessel to reach its planned destination. On the other hand, life, as much as it seems to be UNDER CONTROL, Ahh, life (…), “living is not necessary”, gives me the idea of ​​being INACCURATE, of not having precision! It took me quite a while to understand that too. We have no control! We can and we must, with wisdom, experience, awareness and spiritual maturity, seek every day to follow the best way “NAVIGATION”, the course of our route, because the more accurate it is, the greater the probability of success in life. However, control over LIFE (…) that we don't have! The pandemic caused by Covid-19 is a great example, on a global scale, of our smallness and lack of control in the face of LIFE!
Navigating the opposite way
For many years, I believed I had mastery (at least some) over my life. After all, almost all the plans and goals that I set myself, I managed to fulfill. When I was 13 years old, I started working with my father in his dental lab, and I always proudly said that at 18 I would buy my car with the money I had saved during those years. And it was fulfilled! At the age of 18 I had the amount to enter the financing of my first car!
Then I started travel plans. I went to Bonito and Pantanal on my first backpacking adventure and then to many other destinations. At the age of 23, I decided that I no longer wanted to work in the dental prosthesis business and started taking a pre-university course with a lot of doubt about which career to choose. It was then that I decided to take the environmental management course at USP in Piracicaba (ESALQ). I studied hard and once again, Check! I passed the entrance exam. After college, I planned to enter the environmental field and moved to Poços de Caldas to work at the DANONE factory. Check! And so, we continue to believe that in a way “we have the control of life in our hands” (…). I know that you, the reader, have already gone through this phase of believing that you are in control, or if you believe that you are in control, it is because you are still going through (you are immersed) in this phase (laughs!). Big mistake! We control nothing!
Now I have another thought! Yes, there are situations where, at times, we can have some apparent control of life. Do you know when we decided to "hit the front"?! When everything points to another path, but we insist and fulfill the ego's desire, but maintaining the situation costs us a lot! The feeling is one of physical and mental exhaustion. Wanting to “navigate against life” and trying to hold the reins to be under control, to be in control, and the worst, most of the time, is not even to seek our path to happiness! We control, to a large extent, to follow a familiar, social, religious and economic pattern. I've done this for a long time, and in my case, this inflexibility of understanding that life is imprecise and we just need to navigate (let it go) has been reflected in a lot of chronic pain. I developed a pattern of neck, back and hip pain over many years. Currently, the pains have decreased in intensity and frequency, but whenever I try to control something (this has been my pattern for many years), the pains intensify as a beautiful “wake-up call” to show me that I need to trust the process more and take care of myself. less attached to results. And you, how does pain/suffering manifest in your life inviting you to leave this rigid path of control and pain towards a light path of kindness, love and faith?
Get out of control to find yourself!
“Losing an illusion makes us wiser than finding a truth.”
Ludwig Borne
"Congratulations, daddies, they're twins!" - said my doctor, during the ultrasound exam, at the first appointment after the result of the blood test that I did on my own, due to nausea! What do you mean, twins! I only have distant affairs in the family! The pregnancy discovery was in January 2015, and I was 33 years old. I believe this was the first impactful moment of my existence that I felt I had no control anymore. Never, but never would it be in my "plans" to have twins! My closest friends know that I had even changed the layout of the apartment from 3 bedrooms to 2 bedrooms, as it was already planned, decreed that I would have only one child and that was it!!! What innocence! (laughs)
What despair for someone who thought he had some control! And now? Twins! I say “I imagined”, because we all go through situations that, on a beautiful day, “the penny falls” (each has their alarm clock), and, from there, we understand that we were never in control! Since the twin pregnancy, life has been showing me in countless situations and details its beautiful IMPRECISION!
I realized that I didn't control anything! And the more I tried to “hold the reins”, the more tension I generated! After the birth of the most precious beings in my life, Davi and Murilo, we went through countless difficulties (ICU, allergies, operation at 2 months of inguinal hernia of one of the babies, operation on my foot when they were 6 months old, more ICU etc. ). I don't like to share and quote bad moments, but I feel necessary to exemplify these negative moments to show that they are closely linked to attempts at control! The more we try to control, the more FEARS and TRAUMA are generated within us and, thus, we manifest / attract more of the undesirable in our lives! We lost the direction of NAVIGATION and life tries to teach us that we just need to TRUST and move on, because according to Carl Jung, what you resist, persists!
After going through the first year of motherhood, with many fears and suffering, in which my “shadow (unconscious) screamed” for relief, I DECIDED to start walking a NEW path of self-knowledge and spirituality (different from religion). And I thank God so much for the twin pregnancy, which was my awakening to a new life!
There were endless therapy sessions with the psychologist, and now friend, who worked with cognitive techniques and muscle balance. I also did Thetahealing, Reconnective Healing, Family Constellation, Biomagnetic Pair sessions, of which I am grateful for each professional who ministered these alternative therapies, because, above all, they are beautiful people who helped me with so much empathy and love difficult to find today. I also read dozens of books on spirituality, consciousness development, motherhood, etc. I took a meditation course and, currently, I take a high performance behavioral course. I mentioned all these things to make it clear that there is no such thing as magic! Do you want change in your life? It takes a lot of dedication to change habits and beliefs! True DELIVERY is required! I believe that the "natural flow" almost always leads us to false control of life through ego and fear. Following the path of faith and soul surrender requires will and discipline, but you know what: when you taste this “light” just once, as in Plato’s Myth of the Cave and Saul’s (later Paul’s) encounter with the light of Jesus, you will no longer be able to live in the “cave”!
Trust the Captain of your boat
“There is absolutely nothing in ordinary human experience that can compare with the joy of the presence of Divine Love. No sacrifice is too great or too much effort when the goal is to realize that Presence.”
David R. Hawkins
Getting out of control, especially the first few times, can be scary (for me it was), but after having walked so many years with these lenses that saw the “half an empty glass”, I decided a few years ago to face life from the point of view of the learning, through the lens of wisdom and seeing the “glass half full”! Look with gratitude and above all, FAITH! And how to do it?
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Understand that everything passes; that there are infinite cycles; that the Law of Impermanence, like the Law of Gravity, is real; and that we can go through any situation, because there will always be a greater force, which governs everything and controls everything, guiding our lives! Ah, it's so beautiful when we finally understand this: that we "navigate" with some precision, but the control is not in our hands! I name this greater force Creator and it reminds me of the verse from Proverbs (16:9) where man's heart considers his way (to sail/plans), but it is God who directs the steps (power over life).
So, since we have no CONTROL, I invite you (each within their faith and belief) to surrender to this GREATER PRESENCE! Surrender all your fears, anxieties and sorrows. Stop controlling because often "holding on" hurts much more than letting go!
Let go of everything that imprisons you! All limiting beliefs that are inherited from your family are not yours! He arrives! Let go of all the childhood traumas that make no sense to frighten you until now! Let go of all toxic relationship patterns that repeat the same script! Let go of all unforgiveness, self-forgiveness first! Let go of all the anger, pride and hurt inside you! Each person tries to “navigate” as best they can, within their own history and current level of consciousness!
GET OUT OF CONTROL! Just browse as best you can! And from there, give all your soul and heart! Trust and feel LIFE FLOW IN YOUR BEAUTIFULLY INACCURATE WAY OF BEING!
And to finish, a secret of the 7 seas (like a whisper) at the “foot of the ear”: Excellent navigation, sailor! The rest, trust the Captain!
Erika T. Ferreira!
