At the beginning of contact with a narcissist, he will invariably come across as charming, seductive, and kind. This is the first facet that appears and makes the unsuspecting feel immediately involved, delighted and very comfortable with them. However, a little further on from all this sea of enchantment and seduction, other instances begin to appear. As they are insatiable seekers of applause and devotion, in general most of their movements are calculated with that intention, so in the second stage of knowledge, even if they are not exactly aware of their actions, all their actions will be in that direction. Confidence and well-being, deceptively raised, will gradually be undermined due to the subtle manipulations that aim to make those around them serve them in their infinite demands for magnanimity. From that moment on, they will be the only ones who will have space to appear on the scene, and any shine that is not theirs must be immediately eliminated, but not in a way that can denigrate their image, but in the midst of strategies and games. highly sophisticated.
One of the main pleasures of narcissistic illness is the satisfaction of feeling power through dominance and control.
The emotional cheating of the narcissist is always present, but it is after the conquest phase that all the supposed empathy at first resurfaces quite differently. At this stage, demands come from demands, demands, negative projections and threats of disruption. Confused and not understanding what is happening, the astonished victims feel guilty, blaming themselves for the constant mood swings and dissatisfaction that come without warning and for no apparent reason. The supposed empathy shows its real intention, which has nothing to do with the initial proposals, just serving as a cheap distortion of everything that this term can mean.
For the narcissist, empathy works as a powerful manipulation that invents in the other everything he is not, directing him on how he should be. They are articulations activated in a veiled way, in the name of satisfying the narcissistic abuser, in his broad desires for absolute leadership. A trait of tyranny that aims at misappropriating the identity of the other, transforming him into an object for his own use. A true soul kidnapping.
When they find themselves in conquered territory, narcissists, emotional cheats, often act with hostility and outsized fury at any attitude that suggests they are losing ground. Their expressions of anger are devastating, and most of the time the reasons they expose, in addition to being incoherent, are totally misunderstood, usually leading victims to have feelings of perplexity and guilt, in addition to self-perceptions of worthlessness. Violence is usually verbal and has the power to exert emotional annihilation on whoever is close by.
Narcissistic decompensation is based on a high fear of being dethroned. As a protection scheme, they rely on a type of hypervigilance, being highly reactive and often vengeful when they perceive themselves to be threatened.
The main weapons they use as a corrective to make their victims submissive are the well-known punishments of silence, bad temper and their infinite arguments. Through endless speeches, they aim at the mission of proving how correct they are, until they perceive themselves as victorious to the point of causing the paralysis and anesthesia of the conscience of their victims, a true brainwashing.
You may also like
- Find out how a narcissistic abuser forms
- Understand what happens when you lose your mind to a perverse narcissist
- Pay attention to the relationship between narcissistic mothers and their children
Other narcissists achieve their goals by posing as suffering victims, who have had or are going through difficult histories. The tactic is to put those nearby penalized and on duty to supply the endless complaints of self-martyrdom. And like every self-respecting narcissist in the midst of such arguments, they are more and more focused on their issues, positioning themselves as more important than any other people's demand.
As they do not develop the ability to love and create bonds, they manipulate situations just to take advantage, transforming people into mere utilitarian objects, which can be discarded at any time if they lose their sense of use.
They usually attract fans, devout people and all kinds of people who feed them in their insurmountable desires for recognition as special and great people. An unenchanted and knowledgeable observer can easily perceive in his speech a bunch of empty speeches lacking palpable content.
Even as emotional cheaters, many narcissists, regardless of whether they have captured their hostages, feed their desires for magnanimity by criticizing everyone and everything, and more specifically those who do not agree with their beliefs and dogmas. They use these terms as if they were absolute truths and as tools of contempt.
Finally, all the cheating of narcissistic abusers aims to fill the huge void of the need for love that was denied to them in the past and that they now deny in relation to others. The access is closed, the link is broken and the narcissist is not able to be satisfied with anything else, however much he craves. A bottomless pit that never gets full, a demand that makes them act like emotional vampires in their relentless pursuit of the ideal love. And although they know that true love exists, they don't even know the taste.
To meet these needs, they would need to get in touch with the pain of missing what they didn't have, mourn this lack and from that moment on, begin their journey with more humanity for themselves and for others.
The more awake, the better!
