The root of the word Sororidade comes from the Latin, “soror”, which means “sister”. In Italian, sorella means sister. I had the opportunity to experience this this past weekend, at the 4th World Meeting of Women, where I had the joy of speaking and bringing an experience.
The theme was: “Mothers who disempower their daughters”. Strong and thought-provoking theme. Many women live in the shadow of the feminine and not in the light, and they often do not find the pleasure of being women. They pass this on to their daughters in the form of authoritarianism or absence. These daughters feel psychologically motherless and end up experiencing the Orphan Archetype. In the short story "O Duckling Ugly", contained in our "Sacred Book", the "Mulheres que Correm com os Lobos", the author brings this understanding. Daughters who feel rejected cannot access their reflected positive image, as their mothers reflect the negative image. That is, they end up believing that they are ugly, incompetent, fragile.
Don't confuse vulnerability with weakness, okay? It's quite different. The feminine strength is in recognizing ourselves in our vulnerability, in respecting our moments of “going to the cave”, of self-protection. This behavior is often seen by society, which wants us to be “productive” all the time, as a weakness. Respecting your cycles and rhythms is Strength!
Returning to daughters, many feel that “the woman I needed to call mother was silenced before I was born.” This is a phrase by Adrienne Rich, American poet.
Have you ever wondered what are the possible places for women in a patriarchal society?
We need to rediscover our chthonic (grounded) nature, the one that sheds its skin, that is cyclical, that can be strong and vulnerable at the same time. Our authentic feminine nature. This movement is a rediscovery and, for that, you need to be available to change your beliefs that have “domestication” at their core. Those social beliefs that got inside you that you didn't even notice. Believe me: you were tamed and numbed by values ​​that put you in a wounded place. Finding your power is leaving this place of anesthesia and finding your Bliss, what makes your Soul vibrate. Isn't that relationship anymore? let go You're not alone! Look for your true sisters and ask for support. Isn't that work anymore? Ask for resignation. There are so many crafts in the world that want you!
Women who have had no mothers or have toxic mothers need to discover their psychic family. What is it? Choose people who see you, who recognize you, who really look at you. Be careful not to repeat the pattern of the mother who rejects in your affective relationships. Be careful not to choose the relationship with the abuser, the one who will make you inferior. Choose people who are willing to love you. Stay close to them. It brings vitality and belonging. Within the theory of Systemic Constellations, everything must be included in order to have a place (what was rejected must have a place).
How female empowerment frees us from these beliefs
Female empowerment is a consequence of the feminist movement. When society changes its own mentality and the oppressive structures that it has established, women start to have more space in positions of power, whether in companies, politics or in the business itself, they feel more freedom to express who they are without judgment and are seen as people, no longer as objects.
Thus, an empowered woman is one who recognizes her role in society and is willing to make other women conquer the space that is rightfully theirs, but which has been denied. It is from female empowerment that we become able to identify the behaviors and thoughts that we reproduce and that are sexist, even if they were taught by our mothers.
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- Learn to recognize toxic mother-daughter relationships
We often believe that female empowerment is only necessary for future generations, and we forget those who educated us. Our mothers suffered pressure from society to fit into patriarchal patterns, and they transmitted this to us with the best of intentions, without realizing that they would be doing us harm, valuing our acceptance in the environments we would frequent.
With that in mind, first of all, don't judge your mother for teaching you what she learned. Think about it: if your mother were able to understand that the pressures she suffered throughout her life could have been avoided, wouldn't she do it for you? Their empowerment must begin with the understanding of different realities and ways of life, understanding that all women still need to go through a process of deconstruction, including their mother.
Once you've managed to break free from the limiting beliefs that are presented to us from birth, help your mother break free from that too. Fight for her empowerment! Be patient and explain what she doesn't understand, show her how reality can be much better and allow her to share her experiences. Growing up next to your mother and helping her grow is what will make you an empowered woman!
The greatest pain of the human being is not to belong. We need to belong, find our tribe. To have a function that makes sense in the world, to embody our dreams, to materialize them, to become flesh. In a Women's Circle where Sisterhood is present, we are all included. “Ah, Patricia, but there is only light, no shadow? No competition?” Yea!! Has! But we are aware that we can deal with it, and not let ourselves be dominated! We are aware that they are all there to evolve, that we can act as the psychic womb of our sisters, be midwives to each other. We generate empathy, authentic reception. This is an important reflection. Think about it. Feel it.
We'll meet soon.
