Each stage of life has its particularities and we go through each one of them inevitably. It happens with childhood, with the transition to adolescence and then into adulthood. But a phase that worries people a lot, both men and women, is the so-called middle age. There is no exact age, because it happens in the second half of adult life, between 40 and 60 years old. It is a phase in which youth has passed, so the person becomes aware of the finitude of life, due to the approach of old age. It is at this stage that the dreaded midlife crisis can arise, when we are taken by great questions.
Materializing the anguish
The term “midlife crisis” was coined in 1965 by Canadian psychologist Elliott Jaques. At that time, as life expectancy did not exceed 70 years, the arrival of 35 years old denoted a retraction in the quality of life, which caused extreme reactions.
According to Jaques, several factors specific to the age group can trigger the crisis - for example: death of relatives, dissatisfaction with professional life, the famous empty nest syndrome (that loneliness that hits when children decide to leave home), menopause or andropause. , between others.
The effects of this pressure of age can involve an intense desire to make major changes in life (career change, divorce or end of relationships) or attitudes that are outside the scope of maturity, such as excessive spending to flaunt unnecessary luxury goods.
Some studies say that it is not just a sensation, that the crisis really exists. A study published in 2012 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences even indicated that the midlife crisis also happened to great primates, such as orangutans and chimpanzees.
This study, led by Andrew Oswald, researcher and professor at the University of Warwick (England), showed that animals in captivity show reduced emotional well-being when they reach middle age, just like humans. This study suggests that this frustration may be an evolutionary trait, not an effect of modern life.
On the other hand, some research has already overturned the concept, relegating it to the status of a myth. This is the case of a study carried out by the University of Alberta (Canada) and published in the journal Developmental Psychology in 2015, indicating that what exists is a midlife ecstasy rather than a “midlife crisis”. People were more happy in this age group than when they were younger.
The research was coordinated by psychology professor Nancy Galambos. Two groups were created – high school students followed for 25 years and university students, followed for more than 14 years, who had to periodically answer the question: “How happy are you with your life?”. This level dropped slightly between the ages of 32 and 43, but was still higher than in adolescence and youth. When they were married, healthy, and employed, that degree was higher.
How we feel?
The way each person reacts to the process of reaching middle age depends a lot on their emotional state and how they take care of the physical and psychological. There are even people who don't even feel the weight of this age group.
But among those who are shaken, then entering the said crisis, questions about the achievements (or not) throughout life, self-criticism (mainly about whether you got where you wanted to go). The loss of physical vigor is also starting to become more evident, and even more worrying, as we live in a society that worships beauty and youth. And this also messes with the idea of ​​usefulness, because even those who have acquired an apparent stability are considered old in the job market from the age of 40 onwards.
It's very easy not to feel useful anymore from then on. Not to mention sexual performance, which is no longer the same. This can cause some people to try to reassert themselves, while others prostrate themselves. Some behaviors even show a setback in maturity, so much so that this phase is dubbed late adolescence.
Men and women
From a physical point of view, women are more likely to suffer from the effects of the midlife crisis. This is mainly thanks to menopause. With a reduction in the production of estrogen - a hormone associated with the menstrual cycle -, the result is the appearance of physical symptoms (such as dryness of the skin and mucous membranes, weight gain, cardiac arrhythmias and night sweats) and psychological symptoms (mood swings, anxiety, depression).
Andropause (which is male hormonal decline) is not as pronounced as menopause, as its effects occur very slowly (hormones begin to decline around the age of 30 to 40 and progressively decrease until the age of 80 to 90). .
But these are physical phenomena. The emotional issue is not always up to them. In this sense, there is no consensus on whether the midlife crisis presents differences between men and women. There has already been the theory that in men it affects more their relationship with success at work, while with women this concussion would be related to aging and the aesthetic issue.
But it is a concept that falls apart and is somewhat discriminatory, since men and women – especially nowadays – have the same interests and abilities (two good examples are the more frequent searches for aesthetic treatments by men and women). a much greater female dedication to a professional career, leading them to postpone (or even cancel) maternity plans).
What to do then?
Myth or not, if you are in this range, between 40 and 60 years old, and feel a little strange or discouraged, try to understand that crises are never eternal. Everything passes and there is always a way to go through difficult stages with more lightness.
Healthy mind in a healthy body
To mitigate the biological effects of this age transition, try to practice physical activities. Walking, weight training, water aerobics or Pilates are good alternatives to keep the body strong, elasticity and muscle tone. Yoga, on the other hand, is a complete exercise, as it activates mind and body. Less complete, but equally pleasurable activities, such as ballroom dancing, are also good options, in addition to creating a very important socialization climate to generate an exchange between peers.
A good diet is also essential not only to maintain weight and ward off cardiovascular diseases, common in this age group and which greatly reduce the quality of life, which also affects the emotional state.
Tasks like crafts and other cognitive activities are essential to exercise the mind and keep it active, which also helps in preventing neurodegenerative diseases.
However, it is also necessary to change from the inside out. Some tips can help you get through this moment lightly and without trauma. Life is too good, so be surprised.
Accept the finitude of things – including life
This is the first step. Detachment is a concept that is often used in Buddhism. We don't have control over everything, and many times in life we ​​will be controlled in spite of ourselves.
Be grateful
It may seem like a cliché, but gratitude transforms our heart and our look at things. It's a way to be happier and less frustrated with life's lessons.
bet on simple
Life is not just having. Sometimes we achieve many material things, but still we feel incomplete. In addition, many of these achievements have resulted in great sacrifices, including emotional ones – such as absence from the children, rest, nights of sleep or even admiring simple things, such as a sunset or the singing of birds.
Feel the energy of things that are priceless. Your grandson's smile, the wind hitting your face, a family lunch. This way you will value life as a whole and feel even more grateful for having lived all that your heart was allowed to.
think more about you
No, it's not about selfishness, but about intuition, not going beyond the limits of dignity, avoiding unnecessary competitions and comparisons. It's about not having to prove anything to anyone or meet other people's expectations.
embrace the new
Everything in life is new. The next day is a novelty, for we have never experienced it before. So don't fear what you don't know. Embrace the new as a pleasant challenge, but without the pressure of having to overcome it as an obligation, but as a fun path that will be followed by you.
Have faith
This doesn't just mean being religious or believing in God. If you have your religion, practice it with genuineness and feeling. But if you are not inclined to follow some rite or cult, just have faith within yourself. Create and expand this good energy and try to pass it on to others. Everything we give the universe good, it returns to us.
cultivate friendships
Make new friends, rescue the ones from high school, smile at your "neighbor" in line at the supermarket. It's great to have someone, even if it's to talk nonsense or vent, or even complain in vain... In the end, it's always fun to see how our dramas heal with good conversations.
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Cherish your achievements
Appreciate everything you've achieved so far. It wasn't easy… You fought, gave your all, showed competence, shared your experience and the world of at least one person was impacted by your work.
Love, a lot of love
It's not lip service. Love is a feeling that, the more it grows and expands, the better it is for us and for everyone and everything around us. This ability to love – and especially to be open and receptive to love – is one of the greatest forces that move the wheels of the universe. Love is constant food.
Whatever your issue with advancing age, remember that every phase has a beginning and an end. And that everything that comes after can, yes, be even better than what it once was.
