The online dictionary of Portuguese says that maternity “it is the state, the quality of being a mother; it is the act of bringing a child into the world”. The same dictionary says that individuality “it is the quality, character of what is individual, of what exists as an individual”. It is from the practice of seeing oneself and living as an individual that mistakes can happen. Let's understand what that means.
Motherhood is beautiful and also tiring, but for all the already rooted idea of ​​the sacred of motherhood, it seems that only the part of “being beautiful” needs to be fulfilled and the part of reality is left aside. This makes many women feel bad when they lack time for themselves, to do the things they were used to and that gave so much pleasure, they miss a more relaxing bath, to use a fragrant perfume, instead of the regurgitated perfume. I've seen, read and heard it countless times. Not to mention how much women demand perfection, that is, they need to work, take care of the house, the child, the husband, the food and so many other tasks, and they end up with the idea of ​​failure because they can't do that.
I would like to leave a message for all of us; “Women: Relax!”. We just need to learn to live one day at a time and remember that learning takes place in all everyday actions. Tasks are no longer for men or women, but shared; the world is changing, new archetypes are forming. Patience is a very important word in motherhood and, sometimes, resignation, because after the baby is born, there is no way to return it to the belly or expect life to be exactly as it was before it existed. Life changes and adjusts to a new reality that can be pleasant too. At this point, the importance of seeing ourselves as individuals comes in. Individuality is different from individualism. We turn to the Portuguese online dictionary for the definitions of each.
Individuality “is one who exists as an individual” and individualist “is one who manifests selfishness”. For the individualist, it is very difficult to think about giving up your things to do something for someone else. However, exercising individuality is having your group of friends and going out with them, having your moments of leisure and even with yourself and, at the same time, knowing how to meet the other's need for the love you feel and not out of obligation.
No one is born knowing how to be a mother and father and parents are expected to love unconditionally, as if that was already ready inside us. It is important to remember that we are beings in constant evolution and not ready beings. We will do very good things and not so much, but everyone will learn from it.
A good example for understanding the importance of respecting each other as individuals is thinking about twins. Each one wants to be seen as he is and not confused with the other all the time, they want to wear different clothes, they like different subjects at school, they have different taste in music, in short, each one is one, without being individualistic, but desiring to respect and be respected as an individual.
In closing, I would like to leave a message for mothers: motherhood is beautiful, it teaches to love, to negotiate, to donate, but it doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. Motherhood can be lived side by side with individuality and will be much healthier.
There is a phrase that says “motherhood is living a bed of roses”, but one must consider the thorns on the stem represented by tiredness, sleepless nights, impatience, not knowing what to do and how to deal with that being who is in your hands. It is important to be able to say this so that people can reflect and help, because criticism will not help. Bringing to reality the pains and delights of being a mother. Allow yourself to be a mother and a woman. In this way, life will go on lighter and respect for motherhood and individuality will be present.
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