Loving yourself is not as difficult as some people think. Most of the time, what society does is to problematize the subject, distorting the understanding of it. Many tend to fill their chests when saying: “I love myself”, but in reality, the attitudes they take with themselves and also with others show the complete opposite of what self-love is. Do you by any chance know what self-love means? We'll help you understand a little more about it and we'll even give you some tips to promote self-love!
love yourself
Loving yourself consists of respecting yourself, taking care of yourself, having a healthy self-esteem and not always submitting to the whims of others. This act of caring for oneself is so important that if every person in the world were sure of their self-love, the love of relationships would not become an emotional dependence, which is precisely the result of the lack that human beings feel for themselves. .
This type of love is an understanding of oneself as a unique being, practiced through respectful attitudes, care and attention to everything that is said and done, always being aware of the reflexes that such actions can cause first and foremost to us and in followed by the next. But then you may ask yourself: “If I think of myself first, am I selfish?!”, and the answer is very simple: “No”! Putting yourself first is also taking care of the other. If you are not well, you will hardly do anyone any good. Everything we do for others will come back to us at some point in our lives – and this you already know.
Practicing self-love is accepting yourself both physically and emotionally! It's being patient with yourself, respecting your own limits and understanding that no one is perfect. It's also recognizing mistakes and not charging yourself so much. The self-confidence resulting from the act of loving yourself allows frustrations to be reasons for learning, not means to blame others or weights to be carried. Those who practice self-love live in constant evolution and serve as an inspiration to those around them.
self-esteem from childhood
To develop self-esteem, a child needs to hear praise from an early age. However, many parents make mistakes when they only praise their child and forget to impose some limits. It is necessary to assimilate the child's needs and maintain a balance between understanding and limits, because children need limits!
It is necessary to understand that, in childhood, personality is being created, so excessive criticism can trigger various traumas and sequelae, keeping in mind that the first notions that little ones have of self-esteem are precisely the looks that parents have on them.
Excessive care can devastatingly damage a child's adult life. Little ones must learn to deal with disappointments from an early age. If they do not learn, it is very likely that the fragility in the face of frustrations will be perpetuated. We know that a parent does not like to see their child facing difficulties, but it is important to encourage the child to face obstacles.
Many adults are traumatized when it comes to self-esteem and cannot find a way to practice self-love, because in childhood they were spared all adversities and currently do not know how to deal with adverse situations.
From the moment we make mistakes, we understand what it takes to get it right and we still take the wrong attitudes as learning. If you weren't driven to move forward and accept your limitations as a child, you can deconstruct this pattern of behavior by not charging yourself so much. Start small, analyze your experiences and break society's paradigm regarding self-love. You don't have to follow a line, because you're a unique being, remember? If everything has gone wrong so far, know that you can make it all right. Trust yourself and emphasize every day how capable you are of facing life! Here are some tips to boost your self-esteem:
1. Be who you really are
Do you want to dye your hair pink? paint! Want to wear pants that society says are out of fashion? Use! Want to dance your way in the middle of the club? Dance! Ignore the looks and comments of others. Just think of the joy you feel when you do what you want or when you are exactly the way you are. This goes for both the outside and the inside. Authenticity gives you much greater satisfaction than hiding behind a mask created to please someone. You must love yourself first and only care what you think about yourself!
2. Value your ideas and opinions
One of the most important tips for self-love is having the ability to speak your mind, without thinking about judgments – of course, as long as you maintain respect and are kind. Remember that talk about you being unique? Well, your ideas and opinions are also unique, so you should stick to your truth. Don't say what others want to hear for fear of displeasing them! If by chance you make a mistake or if your opinion has not been accepted in the face of a situation, don't let yourself be discouraged by it. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from situations like these.
3. Don't give space to fear
It's normal to feel afraid in some situations, but that shouldn't be a reason for you to give up on something. Face it! Every time you overcome the barriers of feelings that want to hold you, you will achieve great personal development. Loving yourself also means trusting your potential and believing that you can do it!
4. Learn to filter criticism
Between constructive and destructive criticism, we usually listen more to those that only bring us down. Criticisms that are only intended to point out mistakes make a person feel inferior and even unworthy of good things – and, of course, with great difficulty in admiring their own being. When receiving a criticism or even when making a self-criticism, filter the type of information and take with you only what can be used to evolve and improve. Instead of criticizing, highlight the good stuff! The goal is always to evolve, while being careful with yourself.
5. Don't compare yourself to others
We return to the premise that each being is unique and, therefore, there is no way to make comparisons. Every time you compare yourself to someone, you make the feeling of inferiority take up residence in your being. There are certainly people who have a thousand skills that you don't, just as you are very good at certain things that others are not, that is, everyone has their strengths. Don't be so hard on yourself, because you are very special!
6. Focus on your strengths
Start thinking about all your good points. Do you think you're good at something? Emphasize it within you! Once you start looking at your strengths and what you are good at, you will feel happier within. Always remember that your good thoughts can attract good things. Don't be so negative!
7. Start practicing forgiveness
Human beings make mistakes. In the practice of self-love, one of the bases is not to cling to mistakes, but to recognize them and learn from them to move forward. This also goes for the people around you: forgive! Holding grudges only makes you feel bad. Holding on to resentments causes part of your life to be stopped and not evolve. Practice self-love by releasing forgiveness!
8. Have discipline
Create goals and persist in what you want! Unfocused people often lack self-esteem and push through life with their belly. Take charge of your life situations and be patient. Immediatists are insecure, and in the pursuit of self-esteem, you need responsible planning.
9. Take care of your body
Loving yourself also includes taking care of your body. Eat in a healthy way and don't be negligent with your physical health. Practice exercises and maintain a balanced diet, with all the nutrients your body needs to maintain proper functioning.
10. Distance yourself from certain people
We all know that many relationships are silently abusive. There are people who hurt us, put us down and are rarely happy with our victories. Those who don't love themselves commonly have the need to assert themselves over others, so you need to be careful with these types of people.
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- Know the difference between selfishness and self-love
- Take the 28 Day Self-Love Challenge
- Understand how self-esteem can bring you positivity
Understand that it's important to love yourself before loving others, and in order to love yourself, you don't need to emphasize how good you are to anyone. Your improvement as a person will be noticed naturally! Do not confuse self-love with selfishness, because selfish people need to be the center of attention, of the admiration of others and care little about others. Loving yourself first means simply taking care of yourself and understanding that it is necessary to be well in order to do good.
