I'm gonna explain: In the romantic vision, Prince Charming finds his princess, and they live happily ever after. In the world of reality, however, many enter the supposed love stories in a delusional way, imagining that they are in such fairy tales. They blindly believe in the invented reality that the encounter and the conquest of affective choice, in these terms, should be celebrated as a great spectacle, and that all sorts of adulation can be found within this path.
In a second moment, however, many of these flatterers are insecure about the reciprocity of affection, because, as they leave almost no space for the other's desire to manifest, run the risk of being rejected, no matter how much they have invested in their achievements.
Another aspect that usually comes from both parties is the feeling of disappointment.
In the second half of a relationship, everyone leaves the idealized role, showing who they truly are, it's the law. Demands, needs and all the human characteristics previously hidden in the midst of the masks used in the conquest phase can go up in smoke overnight.
The love bombing movement can be dangerous in the sense of taking your feet off objective reality. The blindness of excitement that surrounds the moment leaves no room for a real encounter to develop in greater depth. In these beginnings of maximum impression, all that happens is the celebration of the encounter and the desire for perfection of the extension of the magic of what is happening to infinity. But the big question is: what can perfection mean to each one individually? And what to do when you know that the engagement is going through love bombing?
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- When in the ecstasy of the encounter, the tip is to know the anxiety and exacerbated passion, recognizing yourself in this moment. And fundamentally knowing about the subject and also knowing that it is not healthy to fill the other so much, because this ends up being suffocated, and there is no space left for the desire to also occur in a healthy measure. Take a deep breath, look inside, understanding that the external vision, due to the intensity of what is happening, runs the risk of overshadowing reality. Then, pull the handbrake, slowing down breathing, thoughts and impulses, to even enjoy more deeply what is happening and that can be very good too.
Love bombing is part of a projection of all emotional needs, directed to the other person, as if this person had no defect and was going to solve everything in life. Because people, in general, are very needy, the danger of love bombing is in the charges that come later and in the disappointments that can come in the package. Or, on the other hand, in the blindness that continues when the other becomes someone invented by the affective partner and at all costs needs to fit into this model. Hence the development of abusive relationships, of possessions.
The person who is the target of so much romantic exaggeration also needs to check their needs and have a sharp listen, to see if the affective attack is not being beyond measure, and to stay on alert, pointing out to the other what may be being excessive, without fear. to protect yourself, imposing healthy limits on what you don't feel is good for you. Self-listening is everything.
Behind such intense behavior, there is the era of emptiness, the need to build an identity and a warm bond through one another and the difficulty of making this type of bond when one is immersed in a narcissistic society, in which most of the parents are technical, that is, they do what they have to do, but they do not know how to set clear limits that allow the construction of a mature and structured self in their children. To break this pattern, today we see a strong current in favor of nucleoside, meditation, mindfulness and everything that makes it possible for people to walk within themselves in search of getting to know each other better, so that they can later have healthier and more promising encounters with others.
Still on this path, checking needs and having a keen listening to see if the affective attack is not going beyond measure and staying alert are part of exercising, dynamizing and enforcing self-knowledge.
Therapeutic bonds and with people who really know how to be with each other with empathy are also excellent antidotes so that people don't get lost in love bombings, abusive relationships, depression and lack of meaning in life.
The more awake, the better!
