Hello, my dear ones from Me Without Borders! It is with great joy that I write to you again.
One of the great villains that hinder and often destroy a relationship is jealousy. That feeling of anguish, suffering and despair dominates us and it's as if we don't see anything beyond that. It's like a prison where everything that happens only strengthens our belief that we are right, that we are being deceived by the other.
But what does jealousy represent?
Jealousy can have different origins, today I will write about three of them.
I'll start by saying that possession is not love! When we think that someone belongs to us, we are just fulfilling our egocentric need to have. We believe that the other is like a thing, an object, a toy, with which we do what we want, turn on, turn off, change places. We want the other to do everything exactly as we wish, to meet all our egocentric requirements and when he doesn't act this way we go crazy, we feel cheated. After all, how can a toy have a will of its own, right?
Another source of jealousy can be insecurity. Because we don't trust ourselves and we don't perceive ourselves as good enough, we always think that our partner can find someone better and change us. We are always on the lookout for the slightest sign that something is wrong and that at any moment the exchange will take place. We turn the relationship into something tense, an absurd expectation and constant suffering.
Projection is when we transfer to the other our own content, our polygamy. I want to make it clear here that we all have it, and that it just varies in size in each one, which doesn't make us better or worse than anyone else. We project onto others what we would like to do ourselves, but which we may not do because it clashes with our values. This cause is very common in jealousy, but it takes a lot of self-knowledge to realize and accept it.
Whatever the options above, I could see that jealousy has nothing to do with the other and yes with ourselves. It takes a lot of courage to evaluate yourself and assume any of them, but the transformation that can be made when you propose to do so is wonderful. To be happy is to free yourself from all these egocentric characteristics that we feed every day, to be happy is to love without expecting anything in return, in the certainty that if love is true it comes back willingly and not by our imposition with jealousy.
Don't believe the popular phrases that a little jealousy is good, it's not. Jealousy does not mean that the other loves you more, but that he loves you less, because he loves him more. Jealousy is harmful, it's heavy. Love is light, love lets go, love respects. Think about it.
A big kiss in your heart and until next time!
