Inside every mother there is a woman, take good care of her.

Have you ever stopped to think that mother is also people? As you know, I'm a coach. The focus of my work has been Real Business Coaching, but behind company owners, directors, managers and employees, in their various roles, there is a human being, an individual.

And why would it be any different with mothers?

Both in my business and individual consultations, I repeatedly see the question “I can't handle everything I need to do”. How can we see, You're not alone.

Especially professionally active women, with whom I have daily contact, carry with them the guilt of being absent most of the time from the socializing and monitoring of their children.

I live it, having to manage my fears and guilt as a mother of a 17-year-old boy and a girl about to turn 13. And anyone who knows my routine knows that I end up spending most of my time on my job. And how do I deal with it? Respecting my individuality, seeking to be well with myself first, because only then will I be able to give the best of myself for my children and my husband, knowing that this donation will be much more qualitative than quantitative.

Accepting individuality is the first step.

I know many people who are individually bankrupt because they forgot about themselves, because they wore the role of mother as if it were the only clothes that fit them from the birth of their precious children. They really are God's treasures on earth, as the millenary wisdom of the Bible teaches.

What is the risk of going bankrupt individually? It is to neglect our performance in other areas of life, especially family, as a mother and wife.

I often ask my clients: did you by any chance make your husband the mother of his child? Are you aware that she needs to be his wife? Are you preparing moments to be the sexy woman, who will wear the new sweater and seduce him? Are you aware that if you don't, someone else will? I ask such hairy questions about the professional. It is necessary to answer them and create solutions for them.

“Oh, Vanessa, but my children need me!”, of course! Just let me tell you one thing: they will have to survive without you at school, college, when they move in on their own, when they experience abroad, when they get a job, when they get married, and throughout their lives. So raise children for the world, not for yourself!

Be the example you want for your children. Develop in yourself the necessary autonomy to manage the areas of your life, dedicating quality time, not quantity, to all areas. Make time for yourself: get ready! Take care of yourself! enjoy yourself! That's not selfishness, it's self-love. And, let's face it, no one loves or wants to take care of those who don't love and take care of themselves.

A great way to build trust with the people around you is to show that you value yourself. And your children will thank you for having taught them in practice, by example.

Love God and love your neighbor as yourself, this is the great mission! And the fruits will be according to the tree. That tree is you! Before the mother, there is the woman. Take good care of her, after all, she is the matrix for quality fruits.

Reflect, get rid of guilt and fear. Accept your imperfection and the limitation of time to carry out so many activities. Accept that your child is being prepared for life and coach them. A training based on love, examples, lots of conversation and understanding that your child doesn't have to be like you or live up to his expectations. He is unique, incomparable and needs to be prepared to find his essence and set his own standard of success.

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