But even so, I insist, I need to find a way out of this suffocation I feel in my chest. Even though I know I don't need anything, from anyone to be happier, or sadder, I insist on deluding myself that the external gaze of someone outside of me can give me the lap I need.
Recently I have been observing my real presence, the one that is still awake when I am sleeping. And I see that, in this presence of myself, there is lucidity and peace. It's as if I could finally, in this conscious presence of myself, succumb and calm down.
The problem is that I only see this side of me at a glance, it doesn't always appear, it's unavailable to my call. Although I know he is there, he never left, in these moments of anxiety and fear, that presence is a shadow. And I don't find it.
But like in a yoga position, where staying in the pain, in the discomfort, ends up bringing a comforting silence, I allow myself to stay in the pain, I allow myself to breathe once more and then locate the key that opens the door to the “I Am” that is part of me.
Lucidity. I just ask for clarity. I want to see the truth, there is no place in me for more illusion.
I am the sacred of myself, I need to take care of myself completely and open up to the possibility of healing. I'm ready to see, slowly I can see the invisible. Hold my hand, I Am, and show me some light.
