How to survive perverse narcissistic parents?

Children of perverse narcissistic parents, from a very early age, are programmed to satisfy them in their infinite demands, so that their egos are exalted. As a general rule, any expression that can overshadow the image of grandeur, the stage and the brilliance that these parents so pursue, must be exterminated. In this silent agreement, it is subliminally agreed that children can never appear to be more than their parents and under no circumstances should they consider showing their own light. under penalty of experiencing all sorts of retaliation. As if that weren't enough, those who dare to wake up and even those unaware of what is happening are at the mercy of this type of subjugation, with no alternatives, and are still induced to present themselves to the world as the prototype of the ideal family.

When there is some clarity about the drama in which they are involved, at the slightest sign of revolt, as a coercive force, they receive all sorts of humiliations, disqualifications and insertions of blame. A dictatorship inside a prison that aims to put them back in unconsciousness of the facts, keeping them at their service.

In their wiles, such parents, when revealed, usually behave like victims, accusing children of being bad, abusing their role as parents, inserting blame in order to make them retreat in their perceptions. As a result, they tend to lie down and roll around in manipulative maneuvers such as gaslighting, which is a pattern of psychological abuse in which experienced realities are retold in a totally distorted way and where important facts are omitted, disqualified or invented. The intention of these pathological types of parents is to make the victims, in case the children, doubt their memories, perception and sanity so that they can continue to exist above everything and everyone.

The child who dares to reveal what goes on behind the hidden actions will receive all sorts of emotional attacks. The parents will face the blind certainty that they will be able to anesthetize their “children” again.

One of the most terrible aspects of this state of illness of the psyche is the real emotional unavailability of recognizing the harm they do to their own children. They reverse their responsibilities, playing hard when they accuse them of overestimating the unpleasant situations they cause, trying to diminish what they did or said. The biggest paradox occurs when they aim to disqualify the importance of what they do, but in their speeches they warn that they are “super hurt” by the proportion that their children give to what has happened, often making use of irony.

As long as these children do not understand that their parents have a pathological illness, they will probably move through anguished feelings, always waiting for a new attack, which will inevitably come.

Learning that perverse narcissistic parents tend to undermine any and all optimistic expressions a child can have in life is an arduous task. Learning that, when unmasked in their “jokes”, disqualifying references or non-edifying speeches, they will rage in a hallucinated way is an arduous task. And getting out of these difficult scenarios is also an arduous task that, in most cases, requires a lot of therapy so that self-rescue can effectively happen.

Understand that you can set limits when people are not nice, that you can choose without fear of being abandoned, that you are free to validate who you really are without having to be anxious or hypervigilant for fear of some criticism, judgment, humiliation or retaliation, is worth a life. Do not you think?

Emotional abuse? No!

The more awake, the better!