Did you know that a manipulative person can be a gigantic harm to the lives of those who live with them?
Living with such a person – and being under their control – is very harmful to mental health, because, little by little, it undermines autonomy, self-control and self-esteem, in addition to causing problems such as depression, panic syndrome and generalized anxiety disorder. .
For these reasons, recognizing and treating the manipulative person as soon as possible is better. Read the full article and understand the main characteristics of manipulative people and learn how to deal with them.
What is manipulation?
Although it is not classified as a disease, manipulation is a behavior in which the individual tries, at all costs and using his tricks, to shape and guide the behavior of those who live with him or a specific person, in order to obtain benefits. or to keep such person(s) under control.
Imagine that human relations are a board game, in which a player manages to move pieces and instruments according to his desires and interests, seeking to benefit from situations as if people were just a puppet in his hands.
This dynamic happens daily in different types of relationships, in which at least one of the parties is a manipulator, performing this behavior in an abnormal and Machiavellian way.
How to recognize a handler?
In those cases of relationships in which one or more people present this trait, the most common type of manipulation is psychological, in which the manipulative person tries to transform attitudes, perceptions, opinions and behaviors through their tactics in an indirect way. and covert.
The fact that the manipulation is indirect prevents the behavior from being recognized right away. After all, the manipulator will never show or make it appear who is moving the cards. Third parties, the victim himself or anything else will be blamed.
To be aware if you are being manipulated or living with a manipulator, know what signs can be identified:
- It induces guilt in the victim;
- Acts like an innocent;
- Changing the subject at opportune moments, managing to take the conversation to another path;
- It uses half-truths, when even the facts can be manipulated to fit into a speech;
- He dominates people with his social mask;
- Plants discord and opens distrust;
- Does not show genuine empathy for the other.
5 tips for disarming a manipulator
Now that you know how a manipulative person acts, learn what you can do to disarm them and free yourself from so much manipulation. After all, learning to deal with this type of person is a matter of self-care, right? Check out:
recognize it
A manipulator will act according to the signs mentioned in the previous topic, but in addition, there are two other characteristics that predominate in the manipulative person's personality: your personal needs always put first and high expectation that you will always be available to them.
A great tip for you who want to know how to recognize a manipulator is to ask people you trust and who are around your relationship with the manipulator. Sometimes, the outside gaze can be the sharpest.
By connecting the dots, you will know whether this person is manipulative or not. From there, we can move on to the next steps.
learn to say no
As pointed out in the previous tip, manipulative people always wait for your availability, making you feel obliged to always serve them, according to their needs. It is a found way to apply and maintain manipulation.
Something very common in human beings is the difficulty of saying no. Out of shame, lack of courage, intimidation or other motivation, the sim ends up leaving before even thinking about whether this requirement is within their limits.
Recognizing your limits and your worth will make you more prepared to say no to someone, and after that person sees that you've put yourself first, he realizes that his antics are starting to fail.
Keep your distance
Unfortunately – or fortunately, in some cases – there's nothing that will help you better deal with a manipulator other than distance. This can be a difficult step to take the first time, but then you realize that your life is better away from someone manipulative. You will see that it was the best choice.
“But what if the person is from my work, college or some other space that forces me to be close to them?”, you may be asking yourself. Distancing can be done even when that distance is not physical.
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The way in which you will or will not be available to exchange conversations with this person will also be characterized as distance. And, of course, you don't have to completely ignore it. A hello and goodbye can be said, but the interaction won't go beyond that, much less come close to a conversation between friends. Assess the terrain and know how far you can go to keep yourself well, even physically close to that person.
Ask questions whenever you can!
There's nothing more to disarm a manipulator than direct questions. When someone is lying, manipulating facts, or glossing over the conversation, questions that make you dig deeper into what they're saying can break a manipulator completely.
They will always look for justifications, and when we are inattentive, they even seem to make sense. But paying attention to every single thing that is being said and showing that you are firm enough to distrust what a manipulator is saying can put a damper on their antics against you.
Don't blame yourself or pressure yourself
Typical of manipulators is the performance of innocence and blaming the other for everything that happens. This is a low trap and the manipulator can nail you down at any time.
And unfortunately, you are susceptible to falling, just like any human being has his weaknesses. So while you're on your journey away from manipulative people, remember not to blame yourself for it or pressure yourself to be someone closer and nicer.
At some point, this guilt can make you even more fragile and make you take steps back along this path of liberation.
Protect yourself from manipulations from now on
In one way or another, living with manipulative people can be toxic and very harmful to your mental health, which, in turn, is very valuable. So be sure to value yourself and put what you learned in this article into practice!
If this person who practices manipulation is very close to you – like a family member – do not hesitate to advise professional help so that he can seek change. But if she refuses to recognize that she needs to change, understand that this is not under her control and many things only time can heal.
