Over the course of your life, you are likely to experience many happy situations. With friends, family, lovers or alone, you can discover beautiful places in the world, taste delicious food, dance a lot, sing the best songs, relax or learn more about yourself. Thus, you will have the feeling that you are living life with great pleasure.
There will, however, be sad and difficult times, when you wonder what you should have done differently to feel better, when you feel alone, when you try to right your wrongs at all costs. It is inevitable to go through this type of situation and many of them can generate emotional trauma that is difficult to overcome.
How to define, however, the difference between resentment and emotional trauma? How do you know if a situation can cause permanent damage to someone or if the discomfort it causes will be temporary? To find the answers to these questions, keep reading this article! Then learn what to do to heal from emotional trauma.
What is emotional trauma?
The word “trauma” is used in many different contexts. In physics, for example, a trauma can be chemical, mechanical, thermal, radiation, or electrical. In general, this term applies to situations in which two objects collide or when one exerts pressure on the other, causing one or both of them to change.
When talking about emotional trauma, however, what is observed is a slight resemblance to the physical concept. Even if it does not involve objects, but people or situations, there is a shock that causes emotional damage in one or more individuals involved in this context. In other words, an emotional trauma is like a shock that hits a person and prevents them from being what they used to be.
Another characteristic of emotional trauma is that it is very private. A situation may be traumatic for one person and may not affect another. In other cases, a trauma can prevent someone from performing an activity because in the past that same activity did them harm, even though it may be beneficial in the present. In any case, an emotional trauma is an invisible barrier to a light and pleasurable existence.
What is the difference between trauma, phobia and fear?
Understanding the concepts of trauma, phobia and fear can be a little difficult for those who don't have in-depth studies in psychology. Because of this, we end up making some mistakes when we talk about our feelings or about the effects of the situations we live. So inform yourself correctly below!
A trauma is a situation that triggers persistent negative feelings and thoughts in a person. Instead of going about life normally after a situation, for example, she continues to cultivate bad feelings because of what she has experienced. An example of this is someone who was mugged and never had the courage to walk alone on the street.
The main sensations that involve a trauma are difficulty concentrating, tremors, mental confusion, paranoia, pessimism, sweating, drop in blood pressure, anxiety, panic, despair, guilt, anger and sadness. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms after an event has occurred, seek medical help.
On the other hand, phobia is characterized by an exaggerated and uncontrollable fear of something that would not pose as much risk to an individual. Even though he knows that there is nothing to be afraid of, he cannot take an attitude or think rationally when he is faced with the object he is phobic about. A person who suffers from nyctophobia, for example, feels terrified in the dark, and may even find it difficult to sleep.
It is important to point out that a phobia is only diagnosed as such when the person who suffers from it is unable to have a peaceful and balanced life because of it. In everyday life, this person fails to do something that could put him in contact with the feared object or remains paralyzed when faced with what terrifies him. These cases need treatment.
Finally, fear is a reaction of a person's body to a situation that presents some threat to him. As a consequence of this, the levels of attention, concentration and adrenaline increase, so that the response to this event is quick and precise. In other words, fear is something healthy for us.
After all, it is from the response of an individual's body to fear that it is possible to escape dangerous scenarios, act with caution and preserve yourself. It is the fear that we feel while crossing a dark street that will help us to run if some unexpected danger appears. So there's nothing wrong with being afraid!
What are the most common types of psychological trauma?
Although each person experiences life situations differently, there are some events that commonly result in trauma. See which are the main ones:
1) Marital separation
Depending on why a long-term relationship ended, this situation can be processed in the form of trauma. This is because future involvements may contain traces of insecurity, distrust, low self-esteem and difficulty building bonds. In this way, it becomes more difficult to reconnect with other people.
2) Loss of loved ones
Loved ones, especially those closest to you, are important supports for a person. When she finds herself without them, she can feel helpless, alone and depressed not only at the time of the loss but for many years to come. In this sense, the death of an important individual becomes a trauma that is difficult to overcome without help.
3) abortion
Terminating a pregnancy unexpectedly can result in trauma for both the mother and the father of the unborn baby. The reason for this is that this loss can make future attempts to get pregnant difficult, in addition to generating guilt, fear, shame, a feeling of insufficiency and depression.
4) Accidents, robberies and kidnappings
Situations that occur unexpectedly, such as accidents, robberies and kidnappings, usually lead to the development of trauma. After the event, it can be difficult for a person to feel calm, safe, and secure. So, trying to avoid something out of control, she is likely to change a number of behaviors she had before.
5) Sexual violence
Sexual violence, which can be suffered by children, women or men, is felt as a trauma because it brings negative feelings for the rest of a person's life. She may struggle to feel good about her own body, to trust someone, to engage with other people, and to feel safe, among other consequences.
6) Marked changes
Marked changes in a person's life can be perceived as a trauma by them. Living in a new place, changing jobs or undergoing surgery are factors that involve the adoption of a new routine and that can bring negative feelings about the future, such as uncertainties and insecurities.
7) Witnessing a violent situation
What many people don't know is that a situation can be traumatic even for someone who hasn't been the victim of something unexpected. Witnessing a kidnapping, assault or any other violent event, for example, is likely to result in persistent negative feelings and thoughts.
not everything is trauma
What characterizes an emotional trauma is the permanence of negative thoughts and behaviors as a result of an event that a person has suffered. But the way a situation affects each person is very particular. While an event can be traumatic for an individual, it can be easily overcome by another person.
As an example, imagine two couples (X and Y) who have gone through a divorce. Couple X continues to cultivate a lack of trust and difficulty committing to future relationships, which shows that the divorce was a trauma. On the other hand, couple Y maintain a good friendship and each one has met new people, showing that the divorce did not result in a trauma with serious emotional consequences.
How do I know I have an emotional trauma?
It is possible that you have already been through numerous situations that you interpreted as traumatic. Think about something that happened to you that made you lose the will to do the activity that involved that event or that caused you to feel fear and insecurity. This kind of feeling is characteristic of emotional trauma.
There are situations that are potentially traumatic for many people. Losing a loved one, suffering some kind of aggression, having the trust betrayed or experiencing a terrifying event are some examples of this. However, as stated earlier, there is no rule regarding the emotional trauma that someone can suffer. At the same time that something can shake you a lot, another person can feel indifferent about it.
To identify if you have an emotional trauma, the most recommended thing is that you seek psychological help. If you have been through a situation that causes you fear, insecurity, terror, difficulty relating to other people and/or anxiety even after a long time, there is a considerable chance that you have an emotional trauma, but only a professional can tell you that. with certainty and indicate a treatment.
If you want to start this process of healing your emotional traumas, however, there is something you can do. Check out the following five steps to heal from emotional trauma and have a better quality of life!
1) Understanding
Understanding is a virtue that allows all situations to be seen from numerous perspectives, evaluating, more broadly and gently, the effects it brings. When we face a traumatic situation and as a result we develop emotional trauma, the first step is to take a deep breath and assess what happened.
Think about the event you experienced, when you are in a peaceful and safe environment. Evaluate the actions you took, what other people did and get a broader sense of the situation. Leave judgment behind and try to appreciate what happened in a comprehensive way.
After that, realize why you should dedicate yourself to letting go of this emotional trauma. It may seem like this mission will be more painful than staying with the trauma inside you, but rest assured that in the long run it will be much more advantageous to deal better with what happened.
The chances of success in your recovery will be even greater if you have people who understand your pain by your side. Be with someone who understands that you have an emotional trauma to heal and who will support you throughout the process, encouraging you to continue seeking your well-being.
2) Take responsibility
Taking responsibility for our actions and recognizing our role in everything that happens to us are essential attitudes in a process of healing from an emotional trauma. Look at your feelings about what happened and understand where they are coming from. Evaluate what your posture was during the event in question and think if you acted in the best possible way.
There are many cases in which a person who has an emotional trauma could not do anything to avoid it, but we also need to think that, in some situations, we should stop blaming other people for the mistakes we make. It's hard to assume that we make mistakes and that we are imperfect, but that's where we can evolve.
If your emotional trauma stems from a relationship that didn't work out, for example, and you've lost hope in love, reflect on the attitudes you've taken toward this person who chose to break up with you. If you realize that you always treated her well and that there was no reason to end the relationship, simply understand that you were not a good fit and wanted different things.
Do this kind of analysis in the situation you've been through. This way, you will be able to rationalize it better, putting feelings aside and thinking about attitudes. Could the attitudes you took be different? Reflecting on how you behaved in this case can help you understand that there is no way to go back in time and that the best thing to do is to move forward.
3) Experiences
Once you've had a traumatic experience, don't try to repress the feelings that are involved in it. If you've been through a sad situation, allow yourself to be sad for a while and process what happened. Do the same thing with other types of situations.
That way, you won't have saved your reaction to a trauma for later, and you won't have room for that event in your heart. You will have the opportunity to grieve for him and end that suffering, because you will know that it is over and that you can move on.
Use your past experiences in a positive way. Don't look at them with guilt, shame or anger. We all make mistakes and we have the opportunity to review our actions. So continuing to think about our mistakes without making changes will not make us feel better.
So, the next time you remember something that brings up only bad feelings, think about other times when you were able to deal with these feelings and see what you can do to push them away, making room for your self-knowledge, for a transformation and recognition of your emotions.
4) Return
Revisiting a traumatic event is never a simple task. We don't want to remember what hurt us. In fact, we want to forget all about it and pretend that nothing happened. However, inside us, even if unconsciously, this emotional trauma remains alive, waiting for an opportunity to overflow and cause even more suffering.
That's why you must make an effort and return to the event that disturbs you. Think about the root cause of your negative feelings and assess why you keep feeling bad about it. By doing this process, you will be able to better process these feelings and emotional trauma, letting go of it.
If you have been suffering from an emotional trauma for a long time and have flashbacks to that event, it is essential that you seek psychological help. Only with this will you be able to understand what this trauma caused in you and how it is possible to heal. There are cases in which a bad situation can generate Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which can only be resolved with medical follow-up.
Make a constant assessment of your feelings and how you deal with situations that make you uncomfortable. To make sure you can handle them all without any problems, stay in touch with a healthcare professional and see how it will make a positive difference in your life.
5) Recovery
Recovering from emotional trauma does not mean forgetting what hurt you. It's a new way of looking at the situation that bothers you. Instead of thinking about it with pain, sadness, anger or any negative feelings, you will see that this event had a beginning, a middle and an end. And that, although it hurt you, you have already freed yourself from the feelings involved in it.
Recovery can take weeks, months, and even years, but it's important that you have the support and strength to continue this process. Think that you are not wasting your time, but rather making the most of it to get to know yourself, understand yourself, renew yourself and better deal with possible unpleasant situations in the future.
If you know someone who is undergoing treatment for an emotional trauma, encourage that person to continue on this arduous and exhausting journey. She needs to know that she can count on someone who understands her and who will be by her side when things seem the hardest.
After recovery from your emotional trauma finally becomes a reality, you will discover a fulfilling life you could never have imagined before. Enjoy the benefits of this process and, from there, know what to do the next time something bad happens to you.
What are the best therapies for emotional trauma?
Emotional trauma will not resolve itself without being dealt with by professionals, so it is recommended that you seek medical help after going through difficult situations or even when you feel like you need someone to talk to about your problems.
However, there are other complementary therapies, in addition to psychotherapy and psychiatry, that can help you in this process. Next, learn how they work and talk to a doctor to find out which one is right for you!
1) Psychotherapy
It is a form of therapy for one or more individuals (in the case of couples or other family members) that aims to dialogue about issues that cause someone emotional distress. From psychotherapy, problems are solved more easily, trauma is better dealt with and we identify what we can improve in who we are.
2) Psychiatry
It is characterized as an area of ​​medicine that aims to study, diagnose and treat problems in an individual's mental health. Through psychiatry, it is possible to find out if a person suffers from depression, anxiety, bipolarity or post-traumatic stress, for example.
3) Hydrotherapy
In this type of therapy, water at different temperatures is used to stimulate certain sensations in a person's body. Hydrotherapy can promote relaxation, improved sleep, and anxiety relief. However, it should always be carried out with professional supervision.
4) Aromatherapy
From the contact with certain aromas, coming from essential oils, a person can relieve numerous negative feelings. With proper follow-up, it is possible to alleviate anger, anguish, anxiety, depression, insomnia and the difficulty of dealing with traumatic situations.
5) Yoga
This practice aims to improve the physical health and emotional health of an individual, causing him to be in balance. Yoga achieves this goal by performing different body postures, coupled with an intense process of meditation. Thus, it is possible to analyze and understand past traumas.
6) Hippotherapy
Defined by the interaction with horses, hippotherapy is an efficient way to fight depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress, which are diseases resulting from emotional trauma. It is important to remember that this therapy can only be performed with horses trained in a controlled environment, alongside professionals.
7) Chromotherapy
It is a therapy that advocates the use of colors to change a person's emotional and physical state. If a person is exposed to light of a certain color, for example, he may become more relaxed, happier or more focused. In this way, the suffering resulting from trauma will be mitigated, with professional help.
8) Reiki
In this type of therapy, a practitioner who applies reiki must place open hands under certain parts of a person's body. From this process, it is possible to channel the vital energy of the individual, in order to give him well-being, tranquility, self-confidence and relief from any suffering.
9) Thetahealing
This is a technique that allows a person to identify limiting beliefs and patterns that they unconsciously reproduce. With this analysis, then, an individual is able to free himself from what prevents him from moving forward and from enjoying life better. In addition, Thetahealing promotes connection with universal energy.
10) Family constellation
It is an adjunct to therapy that helps a person understand what characteristics, feelings, and behaviors they have inherited from their family members. By performing this identification, the individual will be able to understand emotional traumas from a new perspective, tracing a path to overcome them.
You may also like
- See what we can learn from trauma
- Learn how to deal with your traumas
- Discover 5 childhood wounds that hurt into adulthood
- Understand how you can deal with traumas that consume you
- Reflect on how to recover from racial discrimination and racism
- Learn about the traumas a person's childhood can leave
All people are subject to experiencing emotional trauma. If you believe that you are suffering from one of them, know that you are not alone and that it is possible to recover from all the negative and limiting feelings that are trying to get to you. You are able to move on, understand your emotions and transform your life for the better. Give it a try and seek medical help if necessary!
