Everything around us is constantly changing. From the beginning, the entire universe underwent countless changes, until it arrived in the current mold. Therefore, change is also part of the natural cycle of us human beings. On the other hand, it is clear that changes bring discomfort, because it is the moment when we launch ourselves into the unknown.
It can last a long time or happen in the blink of an eye. Be that as it may, changes do not happen by accident and are essential for our evolution. What would become of us homo sapiens if our ancestors had continued to hunt and gather their own food? We will never know, after all this was the decisive change in behavior that gave rise to the civilizations we know today.
Even though it's something natural, changes can — and often do — cause people anxiety and suffering. It is very difficult for any of us to have to deal with the new, even aware that going through it is often mandatory. As we yearn for new goals, we must be prepared for the changes that may occur.
In other words, not all change is negative and many bring new opportunities and ways of looking at life that you would never have considered if you hadn't allowed yourself to change. Sometimes, it is necessary to accept certain things that are not in our plans, to be calm and courageous to face what is uncertain, to feel the ideal moment to take a bigger step and get out of our comfort zone, like a caterpillar that calmly waits inside its cocoon to take great flights when the right time comes.
Changes throughout life
Eventually we will go through some changes throughout life. We could list a series of them with which many would surely identify. Starting to study at a new school, changing your haircut, deciding to live alone and being promoted at work are just some of the most common examples of changes that occur throughout most of our lives and that give that butterflies in our stomachs when we are about to happen.
Other times, changes are unplanned and happen unexpectedly, such as the loss of a loved one or the end of a long relationship. These are phases we don't want to go through, but they inevitably happen, so we need to learn how to extract as much learning from them as possible. Change is the chance we have to get to know ourselves better and realize that we are capable of overcoming obstacles that we thought were impossible to overcome.
There is yet another kind of change. This occurs during those moments of extreme happiness that, if we could, we would freeze just to live them forever. However, good times will be repeated throughout life and we cannot be afraid to let go of them. Every moment is unique and will surely be a part of your memories and who you are forever.
Why change?
Although sometimes painful, changes are part of our journey. We're not even the same people we were yesterday. Our body is continually aging and undergoing changes. We are free to change our minds several times. In other words, changes are only possible because we are beings in constant transformation.
We cannot be complacent or let fear stop us from changing. We need to admit that changes are inevitable and that true transformations only happen after the most turbulent moments. Get to know yourself better, understand what your real fears are and interpret your feelings. Changes will occur, so it's up to you to decide if you'd rather deal with them or put off something that could be beneficial for your life!
Why do we have difficulty dealing with change?
Change is scary, and in fact, it's much more inviting to stay in our comfort zone. When a baby is born, for example, he cries because he left that environment where he was constantly fed, was comfortably accommodated at an ideal temperature and hearing already familiar sounds.
Fear is the way animals have found to protect themselves from danger — and only each one knows the best way to face its own challenges. Try to see change as an opportunity for self-knowledge, after all, you are primarily responsible for your happiness!
How to face the changes?
Unfortunately, there is no right answer to this question. It's not comfortable exposing our vulnerabilities and taking risks when everything seems so calm and serene. On the other hand, we cannot let uncertainties get in the way of our processes and it takes strength and faith to understand when life requires such transformations. Some simple and practical tips can help those who are going through some kind of change:
Understand that changes are normal
Life is made of changes. People around you come and go, the city you live in is constantly changing, as is the planet you inhabit and the universe that encompasses it all. Understanding that life is this living organism in continuous transformation will help you to realize that it is essential to be on the move.
Your journey is unique and the most difficult hours only exist so that the happy moments occur in sequence. And it's okay to be scared and resist, at first, these changes, since it's inherent to human beings to react with fear to what is different.
identify your fears
Some changes are more difficult than others, and what scares one person the most will not necessarily be distressing to another in the same way. The reactions to each change are unique and, first of all, it is necessary to identify the origin of your fear and understand how to overcome it.
Try to explain aloud to yourself, in a rational way, what is causing you so much trouble, then try to ponder the best way to face this change. Imagine what would be the worst of the scenarios of this supposed situation and be prepared for the most varied adversities.
Forget what you can't control
Not everything depends exclusively on our responsibility and unforeseen events can happen when you least expect it. In order not to suffer or blame yourself excessively, leave what you cannot control in the hands of fate. Accept that this change will occur independently of your will and do not suffer in anticipation. Recalculate the route and continue tracing your path.
focus on now
This is one of the most precious tips to control anxiety in the face of new life events. Focus your energies on the present and do one thing at a time. Embrace the change and, little by little, a new reality will become more familiar. Forgive yourself for past failures and try not to think so much about the future. Don't be so strict with the only person who will accompany you in every step of your life: you!
Trust in yourself
Exercise your self-confidence and be sure to value your best features and skills! If you're feeling pessimistic or low spirits when, for example, you go through a difficult situation away from your parents or find yourself alone after the breakup of a union you thought would last forever, stop and reflect on all the good things you already conquered in life. There will always be plenty to be proud of!
relieve the tension
Cultivate hobbies or make time to do activities that make sense to you and make you happier. Find out what makes you feel good and use it as an outlet when you need to unwind. It can be the practice of some physical exercise, listening to music, writing poems, watering the plants, etc.
Just be careful that it doesn't turn into an obsession and become an escape, a way of not facing reality. Changes can increase stress levels, so finding pleasure in an activity that is not directly related to your routine can do a lot of good to relieve tension and help with this adaptation process.
You are not alone!
Even if you are a more introspective person, don't be alone! Surround yourself with people you have full confidence in. Worth a family member or even a close friend. We all need to feel welcomed in the most difficult moments of life and there is no harm in approaching a person who can offer you a friendly shoulder and also give good advice from an outsider's point of view.
get help
While having a support network is essential in busy times, it's also important to recognize when to seek professional help. In no way should this be seen as a weakness! Psychotherapy will help us find answers to our questions and face the process more comfortably.
If you are feeling lost and paralyzed, the psychologist will guide you in the best way and you will realize how much less painful it will be to face any change with the help of the strategies worked during the sessions.
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Some people see life as a straight line. You are born, you grow up, you meet some people, you grow old and you die. But the difficulties we encounter in the middle of this path are what bring meaning to our existence. Life is nothing more than what happens between one stage and another. We make plans, write lists, create goals, but the truth is that no one knows for sure what will happen the next day.
There is a quote attributed to Charles Chaplin that says: “Life is a play that allows no rehearsals, so sing, cry, dance, laugh and live intensely, before the curtain closes and the play ends without applause.” So don't let fear hold you back. Challenges make you move. Over time, the once terrifying changes become part of who we are. To accept them is to say “yes” to ourselves!
