For a long time society conditioned us to believe that we were not enough and that we needed to be different in order to be well, to be loved and accepted by others around us.
Whenever we dared to think for ourselves, we were led by a higher authority to believe that our way of thinking was wrong and we ended up getting into trouble. Whenever we spontaneously expressed ourselves, whenever we listened to our minds or did something we wanted to do, we had to stop doing it to ask permission first. We were led to believe that we needed to follow rules, that we needed to be disciplined, that we should feed ourselves in every way and stop paying attention to our own thoughts, feelings and emotions, no matter what suffering we would have to face.
Naturally, as children, most of us learned to listen to authorities and follow orders, for fear of being abandoned by society. Rather than rebelling against the suppression they forced on us, we chose to pretend to be who society expected of us. We chose to wear a persona, a mask that would hide our true selves. We started doing our best to conform, believing that this was the best way to live, and the more we tried, the less we listened to our inner voice. And at some point in our lives, after years of continual repression and brainwashing, we even forgot that we had an inner voice and stopped paying attention to it all. We become soulless, automated, following a predetermined schedule that others have imposed on us.
Now, whenever a problem or a new challenge appears on our journey, we find it immensely difficult to deal with it, as we are unable to spontaneously respond to such situations and circumstances. In our current state, we feel unimportant, inadequate, insecure and lacking the confidence to deal with any problem we may face. Unable to believe in ourselves, we convince ourselves that our efforts will be in vain and we fear this will happen because we have been conditioned to think that making a mistake means failing ourselves. Our inner doubts limit our freedom, fill our heads with fear and anxiety, and unless we learn how to deal with it and believe in ourselves, we will not be able to live free and happy. That's why I wrote this little guide that will help you start listening to your inner voice and believing in yourself.
A handy guide to help you deal with your inner doubt (and how to believe in yourself)
- Reconnect
The first and most important step in overcoming your inner doubt is to let go of the beliefs you have been subjected to and start questioning your own truth and self-knowledge. To achieve this, you need to spend more time alone, reflect, meditate, get in touch with your inner voice, and make friends with yourself.
- accept your imperfections
Accepting and believing in yourself doesn't mean you have to be perfect. In fact, no one is, and that's great! No one can be good at everything or always make the right choices in life. As we grow, we learn new things, but we should never be foolish to believe that we can achieve perfection.
- Embrace your flaws
Many doubts come from the fear of failure. We've been led to believe that failure is bad, but that couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, failure is a good thing when we learn from our mistakes and stop taking the risk of making them again—in other words, failure is the path to success. So don't be afraid to make mistakes because they are your best teachers.
- Be responsible for your life
Finally, in order to learn to trust yourself, you need to accept being responsible for your life. Generally, we like to throw the responsibility on others and blame them for anything that goes wrong. Consequently, we do not see ourselves as the creators of our own destiny, but as powerless victims waiting for a savior to alleviate our suffering. Only when you are mature enough to accept the responsibility that lies in your hands will you be able to develop your faith, courage and self-confidence.
“We all have the best guide within us, if we can serve it then anyone can.” (Free translation) – Jane Austen.
Written by Amanda Prieto of Team Me Without Borders
