Unfortunately, we spend a lot of our lives regretting, complaining or idealizing better days without having the right initiative to change what bothers us. We look for help in the most different ways and often we don't have the expected result for the simple fact that we are looking in the wrong place. We can go very far, but if we don't look inside ourselves and realize that the problem needs to be addressed at its root, nothing works.
This article is to help you learn the importance and power we have over ourselves. Willpower, self-knowledge and self-control can have huge effects on our lives. Learning to control your mind and mood can be a lot easier than you think.
When we are in a bad mood, with negative thoughts or energies in our life, it is difficult to create opportunities and see the possibility of improvement. It's like we're stuck in a situation. So, taking small steps, knowing what to do next, helps us set our minds on course. It's almost as if someone takes us by the hand and guides us along a more prosperous and happier road.
Follow us in the following steps and discover how to have a much fuller life and at peace with yourself.
1- Accept and agree with the fact that you don't want to be in this situation anymore
The first step in any change is to accept that the modification is necessary. Sometimes we are sad or angry and want to stay that way for some reason. But if you want to get out of it, you need to tell yourself with conviction that it's time to change the situation. Otherwise, nothing will work. Certainty of the need for change is necessary!
2- Make it clear which emotion you want to leave behind and which you want to achieve
When we propose some change, the ideal is that we leave denial and negativism behind and focus on what we want to achieve. Never say to yourself: “I want to stop being pessimistic”, but rather: “I want to be more optimistic”.
Our mind tends to ignore the "no" and focus only on the idea, so we can have the opposite effect of what we want. Focus on what you want for your life with conviction. It's a way of influencing your mind.
3- Call the responsibility to yourself
You must have the full understanding that the responsibility to get out of this situation is solely and exclusively yours. It's time to stop blaming other people or things for your unhappiness. Your life is a reflection of your decisions, choices and actions, so the only person responsible for your life is yourself. Likewise, by your mind.
Now that you already know that you need to change your situation and that you also know what goal you want to achieve, it's time to know with the same conviction that the change is only up to you. And best of all, you can do it!
4- Ask yourself what you need to focus on to feel the way you want to
Using the same reasoning of focusing on the positive side of what you want, ask yourself what you need to think about and where you need to focus to achieve the feeling you want or to change the situation that bothers you.
Think about what you would need to invest to get another job as the current one is killing you, for example. Focus on solutions and never on problems.
Take your time, but get solid answers and focus on them for change.
5- Ask yourself what you need to do to feel the way you want to
Now that you know where you need to focus, it's time to plan the actions that will make you achieve your goal. As in the previous topic, ask yourself and get answers that show you managing to change the situation and get where you want to be.
6- Ask yourself: “What do I need to surround myself with to make me feel the way I want to?”
The environment around us, the music we listen to, the people we interact with… All this has a huge power over the way we feel too. That said, it's important that you find out what characteristics these people and things do for you and help you stay focused on the change you want.
Do as much experimentation as it takes, but don't hesitate to walk away from things that bring you down when you're trying to be more positive, for example. Keep in mind that the environment is extremely influential.
7- Find out what you need to say to yourself to get what you want
We learn by repetition, and this is also how our mind gets used to and believes in situations, feelings and behavior patterns.
It is worth writing down a kind of mantra that you repeat to yourself whenever you feel weak. Write on paper in a way that convinces you of all the answers to the questions we asked above. Convince yourself that you are capable and that you are in control of your life and your mind. Repeat to yourself as often as necessary. Gradually, you will be convinced and you will feel that things will start to change significantly.
Written by Roberta Lopes from the Eu Sem Fronteiras team
