Several times, at different times in my life, I allowed myself to live new experiences in other places, cities and states. I took a risk, threw myself body and soul, surrendered to the new. I experienced strong emotions, disappointments, challenges, fights, breakups, reunions, I had new job opportunities, I met new people, I gained new friendships, I lost many others, I changed jobs, boyfriends, I was alone, I got married, I became a mother, I separated… a crisis of stress, I dedicated myself to finding myself and, for that, I went out in search of getting to know myself better.
I participated in several retreats, I took several courses aimed at self-knowledge, training, immersions, I attended Buddhist temples, churches, spiritist centers, Santo Daime, shamanic ceremonies, family constellation... All this to deepen myself. I undertook new projects, shaved my hair to free myself from old beliefs, undressed my body and soul to bring back my essence, to know who I am. I let go of many things. I got married again, I had another daughter, I changed cities, I changed plans, I went back to school, I was at the mercy of the Universe, I lost my strength, I went back to believing, to renewing my faith and remembering that everything passes, that each phase lasts time it has to take for us to mature.
And in this process of self-knowledge over the years, I delved deep, I came face to face with many shadows of mine that I didn't even know existed. It hurt deeply to realize certain personalities that existed. They were moments of discovery, of awakening consciousness, of leaving the veil of illusion and realizing many important aspects about life (the various lives), reincarnations... It was not easy to deal with the shadows (it is not always), however, when recognizing them, I was able to identify what in me needed to die to germinate, what needs to change for me to become a better person not only for myself, but for the world.
The journey has been and still is a long one. There are so many twists and turns, it comes and goes, breaking paradigms, beliefs, certainties, deconstruction and reconstruction of the "I", moving away from people who are not in the same vibration and meeting new people who are in resonance with me.
Sometimes I ask myself: am I on the right path? I don't know yet, but sometimes I realize that I need to change the route.
For a few years now, with the knowledge I've acquired along the way, I can already hear my intuition and, because of it, I've changed a few times, because I realized that it wasn't flowing or wasn't in line with my heart, however today I can see when the path is closed and I need to look for a new route, but the answer doesn't always come quickly. You have to learn to be patient. It's a challenging exercise and life always brings lessons to sharpen me, burn my soul deep to shake the structures and make me remain firm on purpose.
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It was necessary to take the first step towards the change I want to see in the world. And this change that I long for begins with me, never with the other. Maybe, with my change, somehow, at some point in my life, some attitudes and actions can inspire someone, so I move on, facing the monsters of the way, thanking each challenge that arises, each lesson, each learning and , between mistakes and successes, gains and losses, wounds and cures, I am surviving and living on this earth full of challenges, which, at this moment, is in a planetary transition towards a world of regeneration. And being here, in this moment of humanity, is a great challenge that is worth living.
trust. release. Give thanks. Accept and move on. Everything will get better. Have faith!
