I don't get rid of any of the masters I've had the opportunity to be with, for sure, many contributed to my growth, however, those who experience a married life, in a home with daily conflicts, know how difficult it is to maintain a relationship, and even healthier. Peace cannot be on a mountain, it must exist within us so that we can take it wherever we go.
Whether with the partner, or with the brother, with the parents, with the co-workers, at all times we have the opportunity to exchange experiences with others and these exchanges go well until we are wounded in our pride, our vanity, not being granted our desires, being arrogant and so on.
We always have a culprit to say that in the relationship we are not the wrong ones, but the other. In marriage, we deflect all our imperfections, extolling those of the spouse. How many times we don't even hear the end of a sentence and we've already started to apologize, putting the blame on the other, "getting ours off the line".
Oh, and with the family: they are mothers who imprison us with their fears, fathers who surround us with authoritarianism, selfish brothers who do not divide, but we are perfect angels born in a family to help in the evolution of these people, blind in our vanity without see our mistakes.
Now, at work, no!!!! There are only incompetent people, and I am the almighty, intelligent and having to put up with those who are not…. All of these behaviors are examples of how to destroy a relationship, be it personal, family or professional. I will leave here some reflections for each one to reflect on what we are and how much we are responsible for all this:
Accepting others as they are
We are not perfect, so why do we demand perfection from others? Let's understand that the next is a being that can complement us, let's accept the differences so that, together, they contribute to the growth of the relationship. To change others, we must first be willing to change our defects in ourselves. Let us respectfully evaluate all that we have opportunities to change in ourselves before changing the next.
Win-win relationship
There is no healthy relationship without both parties having bonuses, that is, everyone must be satisfied, happy and complete. There are many relationships where only one party has some kind of reward, there is no healthy exchange. This is very common in relationships based on material interests. They may last for some time, but they do not sustain themselves.
In marriage, the couple must always keep the focus on both: if today I go to the movies to please my husband, tomorrow we are going to have a wine in a restaurant to please me, and this dialogue has to be open, sincere, without dragging past hurts to the gift.
At work, for example, we have many opportunities to create good healthy relationships: respecting the individual, supporting him in his projects, strengthening his actions towards goals, supporting those who need support for new challenges, creating sincere alliances where both parties can work together, growing together.
Unfortunately, the corporate world, mainly, disfavors these true alliances, however, it is up to individuals to constantly seek their values and practice these principles in the work environment.
break is necessary
Human beings, since the beginning of time, have learned that living in a group is safer than living alone. We don't want to be alone and so we forget about our own happiness in order to maintain a relationship, even if it no longer exists. Breaking up is necessary, and when it is, it must be done with respect and love. Yes love!
We can divorce someone and continue loving that neighbor, wishing him happiness, this is unconditional love and, thus, we continue our journey without that partner anymore. This is healthy as long as the breakup happens in a respectful way.
For parents who need to let their child go live in another country, it's evolution, this child needs to grow, develop as a human being, and with a new experience, he will be able to return one day even more grateful to the family, having all the experience lived. We have to learn that nothing is ours, we don't control others, and we must allow people to leave when they want to.
To forgive
I believe that forgiving is the hardest lesson to practice, because when we can really forgive the individual, we don't forgive ourselves for several mistakes we make. How many of us mistreat ourselves for not forgiving ourselves? How many of us can't forget past hurts? Here is a daily reflection: forgiving is so difficult that we must start with ourselves. Daily we should practice a meditation forgiving ourselves of all our mistakes, thoughts and actions that hurt us or could have hurt someone else.
When we feel loved, it's because we truly forgive ourselves. So, yes, practice forgiveness to others and always! To forgive is to love unconditionally. Forgiving is accepting that we are a whole and that the whole is in us, so we are part of the chaos, we are imperfect and we deserve forgiveness to move forward on our journey.
Gratitude today, yesterday and always!
To thank the one who is helping us to live this journey, supporting us, leading us to a new path. Thank you for every moment of joy and love experienced together. Thank you for the opportunities where together, in a discussion, both learned something and today grow together.
When we give thanks from the heart, our energy expands, love surrounds us and this tunes us to the good vibrations of this universe. To thank the parents who with their “dictatorships” formed us decent and healthy adults, who gave us life so that we have the chance to rescue our mistakes and correct them.
To thank the brothers who teach us from an early age to be charitable, to know how to share what is most important to us as children, the mother's love. Thanks to friends, co-workers who give us the opportunity to face our weaknesses daily, seeking our evolution daily. Thank you, always, to all those of our socializing who help us to grow!
There is no primer that we can launch and everything will be resolved. It is through intimate reform, through controlling our thoughts, always seeking the path of light and love that we build healthy relationships.
Much love, peace and wisdom in your lives!
