We live in a period that requires intense recollection, which causes some discomfort. But recently, I realized that I could redefine this moment and make the best of it, because, in isolation, I have the opportunity to be closer to myself. And I'm not saying this from a romantic or demanding perspective that you should spend half your day in lockdown. But is it not possible to be half an hour disconnected from the world and connected to yourself?
Through this questioning, I realized that I was focusing more on the news, on people, on the future than on the present and myself. I started the day by answering messages and reading information and went to sleep the same way. I love real connections, and thanks to the internet, we've been feeling closer. But to what extent do virtual connections really connect? It's not that the tools are bad, I just noticed that the issue was my way of dealing with them, as I had a need to always be close to others, perhaps running away from my company. This habit quickly unfolded into a consumption of images, of content that in fact I did not consciously choose. Until I realized that I wasn't putting myself first or being my biggest supporter on a daily basis.
We all have different stories and experiences and so we have reacted to challenges in different ways. But I believe that, regardless of the circumstances, we need to stop for at least a few minutes a day. Stop to breathe, to feel how sacred the body we inhabit is, how valuable living is!
I read a short chronicle by the writer Clarice Lispector from the book “Aprendendo a Viver”, entitled “É Muito Parar”, which I would like to share:
“I miss myself. I'm not very secluded, answering the phone too much, I write quickly, I live quickly. Where am I?
I need to go on a spiritual retreat and finally find myself – well, what fear – with myself.” (p. 32)
Sometimes the fear of silence takes us away from ourselves. It's just that, in silence, we are listeners and we don't know what we're going to hear. But self-love is loving your own shadows too and not denying them. Loving only the qualities is conditional and untrue.
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Now, when I wake up, I will no longer directly answer messages or be informed about the outside world. First, I open my eyes and ask myself, “How can I be kind to myself today?” Sometimes it's a walk, a reading, a cup of tea. And little by little I'm being my best company and I stop looking for connections to fill the longing for myself. But for that, every day I have chosen a new habit: stop. I agree with Clarice that it is really necessary to stop.
