Hi friends, good to be back! Life is hectic, but I love it when I can find a little time to talk a little about psychoanalysis and self-knowledge. I hope that every time you read a post, something can touch your heart and make you reflect and love yourself more, as well as start to love those who are by your side better.
Today I'm going to talk a little about passion, a recurring theme in the office. Passion is one thing, isn't it?… something strong, something delicious, a feeling of levitation, of constant joy, of constant need for the other. In passion we see everything beautiful, the sun shines brighter, the sky is bluer, life is easier, and it's as if everything suddenly starts to walk perfectly. The other is everything we dreamed of and wanted all our lives. The other is all we needed, the other is all we need. The other does us very well, gives us affection, has wonderful sex, is careful, worried, attentive. The prince or princess of fairy tales.
Being in love is living smiling, it's making plans, it's waiting anxiously for the next meeting, it's wanting to always be together, doing everything together, living everything together. When we are in love, we see things brighter, problems become smaller than they are, people become more beautiful, life becomes lighter.
Being in love is giving yourself body and soul, it's believing that that's what being happy is, and that's what we want forever.
Forever... and we create expectations...
The problem is that it can take years, but passion has a deadline. And that's where all our frustrations, disappointments and suffering begin. We idealize the other when we are in love, we only see their good side, because we don't want to see anything else. But when the passion ends we have no choice, we will have to face the dark part we hide from. The other's and ours. Yes, ours too, because we need the other to see how many shadows we still have to work on.
And then the conflicts begin. Differences in thoughts, differences in action, in feeling, because, yes, we are completely different from each other, because we are unique. There is no half of the orange, there is no lid on the pot, no one will ever cover the other's holes, and in passion we have this illusion. We gradually get to know who is truly on our side, and sometimes it is so different from what we idealized that it scares us.
Does that mean we can't fall in love? No way should we, even because it's practically impossible to get away from it, isn't it? And what to do? If you allow yourself, yes, to live everything you have to live, receive and give everything you have to give, but keep at least one of your feet on the ground. As? Using reason to talk to yourself that this moment is passion, that it will end one day and start preparing for it. As? Being as true as possible to the other, which is extremely laborious in the process, since in passion we only show our good parts.
But there's no way, if you don't want to suffer up front, be real, be yourself. And let the other person do the same. Always love yourself first, we are not yet ready to be different. Know when to set limits, use reason and don't let emotion dominate you 100% of the time. Take actions that can preserve you there in front of a bigger problem, whether psychological or material.
Make no mistake, Prince or Princess Charming doesn't exist. What's on the other side is a human being like you, with flaws and qualities, and that's good, not bad. After the infatuation phase comes the phase of true love or the end of the relationship. The period of exposition of differences, conflicts, discoveries, divergences begins. If you can get through it, love remains. And it's love that really matters, isn't it? If we overcome the passion phase and continue, accepting the other as he truly is, with his good and bad sides, we will have the wonderful opportunity to grow and evolve together. Is very.
Think hard, fall in love, but don't let your life be founded only on emotion. You can fall in love and use reason from time to time, it's hard work, but I guarantee you won't regret it.
A big hug and until next time.
You may like other articles by this author. Also check out: Expectation X Frustration – Have you created too many?
