“Freedom or solitude?”: who has never faced this question in captions of images of individuals alone in public places, such as restaurants and cinemas? The act of being alone, by itself, is a controversial subject. Why do we tend to be so judgmental about someone who seems to get along with their own company?
In a world of more than 7 billion people, in which communication is instantaneous and globalized, is it really impossible to be happy alone? A notable portion of the South Korean population says no. This is because this community is adept at the Honjok philosophy, which talks about the pleasure of being alone.
What is Honjok?
The phenomenon of “one tribes” has spread across the Asian continent in the last 10 years. In South Korea, however, this custom is increasingly intensified, to the point of being considered a legitimate philosophy of life. It's Honjok, the pleasure of being alone. In short, “Hon” means “lonely man” and “jok” means “tribe”.
In an interview with the BBC, psychotherapist Francie Healey, who immersed herself in the culture of Honjok fans, points out that this idea is more than a lifestyle, “it is a way of being in the world”.
The term is so comprehensive that, in South Korea, a market was created to cater to people who started to carry out different activities alone. Honjok even gained specific nomenclatures for each type of activity: Honbap, the act of eating alone; Honsul, the act of going out alone to drink in bars and Honnol, the act of practicing hobbies alone.
Honjok's Teachings
Although the label of loneliness is often associated with negative ideas and personality defects, what you see is that those who choose Honjok make a conscious decision to explore and delve deeply into their own desires and interests, cultivating their true inner world. Healey, the psychotherapist, defines practitioners of this ideal as "successful loners."
No livro “Honjok: The Art of Living Alone” (“Honjok: The Art of Living Alone”), authors Francie Healey and Crystal Tai explain that many young people, especially women, embraced individualism to reject the collectivist values of South Korean society, seeing loneliness as an alternative to the social norms and impositions of living in a pack.
Scholars not only on this topic, but also interested in the very concept of “loneliness”, point out that loneliness really allows its adherents to have more fruitful and positive relationships with other people. The act of being alone is a noble path of self-knowledge, and the latter is the key to success in many interpersonal relationships.
With the obligation of social isolation caused by the Covid-19 pandemic, many people were in the hot seat of mental health for lack of contact with others, when faced with their own excesses, in an intense and sudden routine of having to live with their own loneliness. And how do we learn to deal with it?
Honjok is a way to understand that, even if it is uncomfortable at first, conscious living with loneliness causes a deep cultivation of self-awareness. In a relationship with your inner world, you can feel a real spiritual richness just being with you.
Ways to practice Honjok
First, it is important to understand that feeling alone is not the same as being completely alone. If you intend to acquire habits of solitude and enter the experience of Honjok, it is necessary to become aware of your loneliness and face this process with reason and certainty.
To practice this philosophy, it is necessary to carry out activities and acts that turn to your inner self and to silence. At first, starting with a few minutes a day, you can do simple things like pay attention to your breathing and your thoughts. At this stage, you can write a journal or simply write down your thoughts and the perceptions of your senses (such as touch, smell, taste) that catch your attention; because it helps you to become aware of yourself, making you a reflective and self-aware being.
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Practicing meditation and mindfulness techniques are also excellent avenues for Honjok. Develop creative and artistic interests as well, since doing manual and/or unusual work that involves expressiveness requires a lot of our relationship with us.
If you are attracted to the idea of living fully with yourself and your solitude, bet on the unprecedented and try to join Honjok. It may seem daunting or very difficult at first, but the long-term results are promising. Keep in mind that becoming a “successful loner” does not mean becoming a misanthrope — quite the opposite! By getting along with yourself, you will be equipping yourself to become better and better to live with those you love.
