From a young age, we are educated according to certain standards imposed by society, both in terms of behavior, body and aesthetics. Our mind is conditioned since our creation to believe in what is right or wrong, what is healthy or unhealthy, what is beautiful or ugly - but we still didn't have the discernment to have our own opinion. The fact is that we grew up under judgments that made us believe in how we should be, especially physically.
At school, who never saw their skinny classmates laughing and making fun of those who were fat? Unfortunately, in childhood, such attitudes were and still are seen as innocent pranks – but we know they have a name: bullying! The practice of bullying that hurts the physical appearance can cause a lot of trauma to a person, and even make him grow up believing that he must have a different body than he has, to be accepted in society.
All these discomforts caused by the imposition of what is considered ideal make us live our lives in search of a perfect body. But because these annoyances with our appearance are rooted very early in our personality, the need to change may not come from our own will, but from the dissatisfaction transmitted during our development as people in society. Do you really want to change? Or this desire to be otherwise vamp from what you've been told so far?
Knowing yourself: reason vs emotion
Even with perceptions and understandings already established within our own being, it is possible to take a moment to analyze who we really are. Of course, our personality is full of external reflexes, but internal ones always prevail and our true desires are always more latent. Do you know the question of reason and emotion? That's what you should think about!
Reason has a great influence on society: it tells you what is correct, what is fashionable clothes, what you should or should not wear, how many pounds you should have to participate in a fashion show, among many other rational things that simply are imposed! Now the emotion is totally within you! It is your emotional side that defines whether your desire to change is part of what you really feel or what the reason of others makes you feel.
Stop for a moment and just allow yourself to feel! Do you really want to go on crazy diets, change your haircut, go without eating what you like best, just to be accepted or meet someone's expectations? Or are you happy with your body, don't agree with beauty standards and even feel lazy about all those advertisements that promise you to look better? Maybe deep down you don't even care about these issues, but because you're so used to hearing and thinking that something in you must change, you end up believing it and taking it as a truth for your life.
Deconstruction
Deconstructing yourself is not an easy task, nor is getting rid of the wrong things you were taught. But first, you need to understand that only you know about yourself! The opinions of others are not meant to make you feel good: they are simply opinions. Try revisiting some memories to find out when the need for change became a part of your life. Realize if it came from you or if it was built from impositions or what the media says is better or not.
After analyzing these questions, you need to allow yourself. And when we talk about allowing yourself, it's in the sense of being who you really want to be. Want to stay exactly the way you are right now? stay! Assume your own will, because your body is yours! The important thing is to feel good, and there's no harm in feeling good when you don't meet society's standards of beauty. Your happiness is what matters!
You may also like
- Find out if advertisements perpetuate or create stereotypes
- Listen to what your daughter hears when you criticize her body
- Check out the damage that excessive pursuit of beauty can cause
Accept the deconstruction process, but know that it will not always happen overnight. You will have to deal with judgments, with questioning and with many comments about your decisions, but nothing, absolutely nothing is greater than the joy you will feel when you come out from under the impositions of a superficial society.
