Today may be the last time you will see someone in this life: it could be the bus driver, it could be your mother…
This is the reality. It's even hard to write and think about it. The words are being written despite a great denial of the ego and many internal walls raised against the real perception of the ephemerality of things, relationships and people.
We never talk about it openly. Sometimes we think “does everyone think about this”. And that's the question I want to ask you: how many times a day do you realize that you can die at any moment? Or someone close?
This life of traveling, living far away and staying in retreats made me live it with intensity. On my first trips, it was the fear of never seeing my grandmother again. Afraid that when I returned, she would no longer be here on Earth. But what if I got this fear telling me what to do? I would never have gone on a trip. And every time I went, the day before I left, I went to her house and asked for her blessing. That I always had. She freed me.
And I was by her side when she crossed over. I was also afraid of not being able to attend her wake. And I was because everything happens at the right time, as it should be.
But even living together and seeing each other every day, people can leave us. Unexpectedly even… When friends, brothers of friends or sisters-in-law leave the body under 30, sometimes without rational explanation. And it's like that. We keep thinking about the last time we saw each other. Remembering the last things we talked about and if, in my contact with her that night before she died, she kept a good memory, if we could exchange good energies.
And if I think I might die at any moment, just like everyone else, then am I going to panic? No! Then we start to value life and relationships more. If I know that, in reality, today may be the last day I will see my husband, I will always try to have good memories with him, cultivate the time together with good feelings, because that is what I will always think about later. And then it might be too late.
I am no longer an advocate of the “carpe diem” philosophy in a harmless way. I don't think I should be looking to fulfill all my desires because life is short. Well, that's why, and because I don't have control over how long it will last, I try to enjoy it with quality, with presence. Here and now! It's cultivating life span. It is having conscience and living with the truth. If this guides the way you relate to everything in the world.
To have that happiness and acceptance, you need discipline, practice, help, and work. It's simple, difficult, we are learning.
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