Continuing with the subject of how the child develops from the psychosexual point of view and his personality, we will start by talking about the Oral Phase and what a child needs to develop in a healthy way.
The introductory text to the subject is here Basic Concepts explaining that a healthy personality is constituted from a good structuring of the stages of development, and that inadequacy in any of them can produce disharmonies both in sexual development and in the psychosocial relationship, which can cause behavioral imbalances. and organic.
A Oral Phase it is the one that goes from the birth of the baby to approximately 2 years of age and was called the Oral Sadistic Phase by Melanie Klein, the Oral or Cannibalistic Phase by Freud and divided between the Oral Phase and the Oral Sadistic Phase by Abraham.
These Sadistic, Cannibalistic terms come from deeper studies about the child feeling pleasure and having the desire to suck vs. but this approach is much more psychoanalytic and we can delve into it at another time, since the purpose of this series is to be something very practical.
A Oral Phase it is the first phase of the evolution of libido, which is our life energy, and in this period it is under the primacy of the mouth, hence the name Oral Phase.
The baby's brain, at this stage, understands all pleasure through the mouth.
In addition to the mouth, it is also worth considering here, the skin and the intestinal tract.
All her pleasure is through her mouth, so she cries, sucks, sucks her thumb, takes all objects to her mouth..
Your mouth is your contact with the world!
This is the phase of the formation of physical and psychological security and their models and this happens through their contact with the mother.
It is the time of emotional structuring, in which touch, care, physical contact with the mother or caregiver and the protection received are fundamental for their development. Although at this stage the child is pure instinct and totally dependent, the formation of his personality begins here.
This child's first object of pleasure is the mother's breast, and breastfeeding is considered his first experience of satisfaction in this world, which already teaches him what desire is.
The baby starts to want the mother's breast to suckle.
At that time, through breastfeeding, he begins to learn affection, protection, touch, which will bring him physical and psychic security, and thus he will establish the relationship with objects as Pleasant or Unpleasant, depending on his experience in breastfeeding, be it on the breast or bottle.
Baby's oral pleasure is related to incorporation, when he sucks and digests milk.
It is very important and it would be ideal for the baby, at this stage, to always be cared for by the same adult, preferably the mother, because he is in what we call Mirror Phase, and through mirror cells the child learns to recognize his identity and create bonds with other people.
Unfortunately, in the modern day, this is not always possible, because mothers need or want to work and this requirement has made us condition our children to other people. The least worse would be for the caregiver to be changed as little as possible.
A well done or poorly done oral phase will significantly influence your personality.
I will explain in a simple and very abbreviated way what would be considered a good phase and a bad phase:
good phase:
The baby receives good care from the parents, receives physical contact and is always held in their arms, receives kisses, hugs, affection and is attended to when he cries, in short, he receives the physical security he needs and his need to suck and incorporate is also met in the feedings.
As a consequence, this person will tend to repeat this good relationship in the future, dealing even better with losses, anguish, anxiety and, probably, will not have problems of emotional dependence.
It has phases:
Here, the baby did not receive all these provisions he needs as mentioned above, or he received them in excess and, in this case, he will probably be fixed at this stage, bringing him harm such as becoming an abandoned person, in a constant pathological search for praise, kisses, hugs, affection and for being loved.
And what we call "Slim of Provision". The child may become fixated at this stage due to the lack of what he did not have and may perceive people and objects as his “food providers” in his adult life.
This individual may have the characteristics of eating a lot, talking a lot and in an anxious way, presenting emotional dependence, as he will feel a constant feeling of abandonment. You can be considered an addict, always looking for external provisions and will always demand a lot from people and situations to feel safe.
At the other extreme, they may experience difficulty in physical contact such as kissing and hugging. They may also have marked distress, a tendency towards asthma and bronchitis and even Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia, if they have the genetic component.
If, for some reason, the child found himself or herself poorly cared for, even if it wasn't, the consequences will be the same.
At this stage, therefore, the child needs an adult to take care of him, preferably the mother, to evolve well and become a lucid and healthy adult.
In short…under normal conditions of health and development, the ideal would always be to attend to the baby.
And it is worth remembering that babies really cry, it takes work, yes, it requires a lot of care, dedication and patience. There is no such thing as hoping to have a nice baby. If he is normal, he will cry, he will wake up several times during the night to really suck...
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- Basic Children's Handbook - Basic Concepts
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Particularly, I am terrified of the techniques of letting the baby cry in the crib to learn to sleep alone, because the little one is still unable to understand what they want to teach him as a lesson and goes through a feeling of death, of annihilation and this is very cruel. .
However, when you are older, with some understanding, and can already follow the mother with your eyes to know that she is close by, it is prudent to wait until the baby cries or grumbles asking for milk or waits for a few short moments to be attended to, so that he learns to wait a little bit and to know that the mother, the milk and the care will come, and that it's ok to wait a little bit, that's part of the learning process. A little, it's a little, okay? A few minutes…it's a matter of common sense, the time between grumbling and actually crying…the mothers will know how to dose.
Waiting for the child to ask for what he needs and not giving the milk just for the schedule control is quite healthy and avoids many future problems.
Loving care is what the child needs at this stage to learn about safety.
In the next text, we will talk about the Anal Phase.
Until then!
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