And?

So what if you don't like me? 

Calm down, dear reader, I'm not taking my frustrations out on you.

But today I do a little reflection on the extent to which we shape ourselves so that others like us.

Do you like to be approved?

Well, what a silly question. Of course it does, who doesn't?

Hardly anyone likes disapproval.

So I change the question a little bit: do you like approval?

Hmm, have you ever felt any difference?

No? Perhaps? Did not understand?

So here's one more: Who do you need to approve of you in your life to make you feel good?

Or even: what are you willing to do to be approved by this someone?

Approval is something inherent to all living beings.

A tree needs to be in harmony with its neighbors in order to compete for the sun's rays, nutrients from the earth and physical space. Animals also need to belong to groups for pure survival and, for this, they submit to complex hierarchical systems like ours, competing for attention, possession, territory and sex. In short, for power, like us.

Is this seeking approval in the animal kingdom? In a way, yes. 

However, in the realm of human beings, this search often puts us in a world of anguish and sadness, resulting in depressions and various syndromes.

In practice, the actions taken to belong to the group do not have the well-being effect sought by the individual.

So, what to do to reverse this uncomfortable position?

Here's the cat's jump!

Realize first of all who is there inside you.

Yes, it's you.

Then, secondly, do an exercise of placing this being that is you as the person who will be responsible for approving you, taking from the other such function, power and autonomy.

You have carte blanche to do what you want with yourself.

Of course, you can disapprove, discourage and destroy yourself. But wasn't that what he was already doing waiting for the other to approve of him?

So, with the change in this paradigm, you start to care more about your opinion and less about the other's opinion, which, little by little, becomes more “other” and becomes increasingly distant from you.

However, this is training.

A life long training. It has to be done all the time, until it is natural, spontaneous.

With this, you can be happy when only one person likes you. The most important: yourself.

If you need me, I'm here to assist you in my office or simply waiting for you for a delicious coffee.

A kiss in the heart of each of you.