Talk about emotions, about the need to work with our negative impulses. Explain how life can be better when we have empathy and can live in harmony, but let the little one know that we are not perfect beings, and that it will not be an outburst of anger, tantrum or stubbornness that will make him a bad or "ugly" human being. ”.
Show him the power of speech and silence, but don't make him talk if he doesn't want to, and don't tell him to shut up if he wants to talk. Introverts and extroverts have different needs.
Set an example of good nutrition and let him know the importance of exercising to have a long and healthy life, but don't call him lazy if he doesn't want to be the athlete of the class.
Share with him beauty, talk about harmony, joy and colors. Make him have contact with nature and learn to see the beauty in small things, including himself.
Make it clear that there are good and bad choices, and that when we are not prepared we can choose to make bad choices and that we will have consequences to face. Make it even clearer that these consequences, however much they may hurt us, must be borne by him; however explain that to err is human and that your love does not depend on him making only good choices.
Show him how important it is to be committed, dedicate himself to studies, acquire knowledge, read, learn, but let him know that your love is not conditional on good grades.
Give examples of how important it is to choose a profession, dedicate yourself to it with love and dedication so that you can succeed, however make it clear that the choice for the profession is his, and that you will love him regardless of what he wants to do.
Never use deprivation of your affection or attention as a form of punishment. There are more effective and less destructive ways to make them understand that they have made a mistake. The lack of self-esteem is one of the major factors for the development of anxiety disorders, depression, bulimia, anorexia and many others.
People with low self-esteem find it difficult to have healthy relationships and to find a path to self-fulfillment. The destruction of self-esteem begins when we believe that we are not good enough to be lovable, and so we begin to conform to the required standard.
We stop being who we are and start to play a role to avoid criticism, judgment and, above all, the feeling of disaffection and disapproval. The saying goes that whoever loves educates, and guiding and setting limits is part of the process, however we must avoid transference as much as possible, conditioning love to the way we would like our children to be or behave.
And if you've grown up, think about it... what do you do simply to receive love and approval, but that has nothing to do with what you would like to do or be?
