Our habits deceive us. Often they are what keep us stuck in negativity. Below we have gathered 13 ways we can change our thoughts and minds, so that we can feel the happiness we truly deserve, freeing ourselves to live, love and be happy at last. Let's get the best! Follow this advice, and not only will you feel better, but those around you will also be impacted:
1. Free yourself from complaints
Throughout the day, we find countless things to complain about: the weather, the traffic, how they serve us in a restaurant… But how does this constant complaining make things better for us? Does it make us happier? Or does it just put our mood down further? And it makes us feel more unhappy, down and depressed. Our mood is in our hands, so we can choose how to react to any situation the way we want. We can allow ourselves to be sucked into a negative state of mind, or else we can keep ourselves happy, even with the heavy traffic we are going to face.
“Tell the negativity committee within you to sit down and be quiet.” – Martin Seligman.
2. Let go of the urge to always be right
Many of us struggle with the idea of ​​“being wrong” and will do whatever it takes, like fighting with dear friends or loved ones, just to be right. Breaking free from this habit will bring you better relationships. Having a sense of serenity in knowing that even though you were right, you saved yourself and those around you from dealing with great stress, worry and tension. Wayne Dyer wrote: "Would you rather be right or would you rather be kind?" Think hard about this the next time you have to fight this habit.
3. Let go of self-defeating ideas
A lot of the obstacles we face in life are actually the ones we put in our minds. They are imaginary, unreal and can prevent us from moving forward in some circumstances in our lives. These imaginary obstacles surround our ideas about what we can and cannot do, about what is or is not possible. We need to learn to see beyond obstacles. Only then will we be ready to spread our wings and fly.
“A sea of ​​water can only sink a ship if it enters it. Likewise, the negativity of the world cannot bring you down unless you allow it to enter you.” – Goi Nasu.
4. Let your fear go
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Our fears are, unfortunately, impediments that we create for ourselves. Imagine that all these obstacles disappeared. How would you feel? Close your eyes and imagine for a moment… It's good, isn't it!? Now, try to live that way.
5. Let go of attachment
Attachment creates an atmosphere of fear. You are not dependent on things, and allowing yourself to think that will keep you from being happy.
6. Let go of criticism
Refrain from criticizing anything you don't understand. We are all different and that makes life beautiful. The world would be very boring if we were all the same. Allow people to think differently. Don't see the different as an excuse to criticize. We all want to be happy. So let's allow happiness to be welcomed into our lives and allow others the same happiness.
7. Stop blaming
Stop trying to find reasons why things are the way they are. When trying to explain things, we often try to find a culprit. This negativity hurts those around us, but worse than that, it hurts ourselves.
8. Stop trying to impress others
There are so many more important things in life than worrying about what someone else thinks about our shoes, what you do for a living, or what car you drive. These things don't nurture healthy relationships. What people want is your “real self”, for you to be yourself. When you put the pretense aside, you'll find that people really appreciate you for who you really are. Then you will have stronger and deeper relationships.'
9. Stop making excuses
Sometimes we have a habit of making excuses for no real reason. We have all the time, resources and energy. We need to take advantage of youth, good health, free time and, above all, our lives while we still have it.
10. Let go of your control mania
Situations, events or people… Even if we try, much of what happens around us cannot be controlled by us. So why don't we spare ourselves the thought that we can? Leave everyone and everything around you as it is. You will feel much more relaxed and happy.
11. Leave the past in the past
Put things in perspective. Never struggle with the past or look forward to the future instead of enjoying the moments of each day. Today is all you have! Tomorrow was not promised to you and yesterday is gone. So be present in everything you do. Remember these are the good days. Happiness is not something you can put off for the future.
12. Stop resisting change
Every process in life implies change. As human beings, we like the familiar, and when we find something that is comfortable, we often resist change. But few things last forever and we need to be ready to change. This doesn't mean being afraid of the transformation, but rather, hugging it whenever it knocks on our door. Take this process as an opportunity. An opportunity for something better and new.
13. Stop living under the expectations of others
Much of our lives is spent trying to “fit” into social archetypes. We allow the expectations of others to determine the job we have, the car we drive, the clothes we wear, and more. How much happier would you be if you allowed yourself to follow your heart and do the things you want to do? We allow loved ones to dictate what we do. Our parents, siblings, partners and sometimes even the media or the government tell us how to get on with our lives. We all have our individual talents, we all have something to offer, something unique. Each of us has gifts. We need to nurture our talents and contribute by doing what we are good at, with what we love, instead of just doing what is expected of us.
Whatever your biggest impediment to full happiness, today is the only time you have to reflect and make a decision… It's time to change!
Text written by Gabrielle Carreira from the Eu Sem Fronteiras team.
