Everyone seeks their own happiness in a unique way. Some people have been alone for a long time and like to enjoy the quiet of their own company. Others, on the other hand, can't stand the idea of ​​being alone, and between one relationship and another they always complain about being single, especially when this time extends longer than expected for them.
The old saying goes: better alone than badly accompanied. But does the search for the ideal person really depend so much on the other? Have you ever stopped to think about why you stayed single for a long time?
Before blaming the other person's lack of commitment or saying that you don't find anyone compatible with you, maybe it's worth looking inside yourself and trying to understand why it's been so difficult to find someone or, when you do, why it's so hard to surrender. to that person.
For those who have been single for some time and looking for a romantic partner to share life's great moments, know that everything is a matter of timing and timing. And how do I know if this is my right moment?
Well, many of the problems we encounter when we are in a relationship with someone are caused by deep personal issues that may be blocking our interpersonal relationships. We can't fully connect with another person until we learn to deal with the dormant pains inside us. Here are some of the emotional aspects that may be preventing you from finding new love:
not knowing who you are
Before worrying about finding the right person, we need to understand that we are unique beings. We shouldn't look for someone who completes us, because there's nothing missing in us: a partner needs to come just to add!
We accept what we think we deserve. Then we will only be prepared to find great love when we are well with ourselves. While you're single, take this time to get to know each other and improve.
Recognize your weaknesses and value your greatest strengths. Only after you know exactly what you like and who you are when you're alone can you get a clearer picture of what you're looking for.
Not knowing how to differentiate the real from the idealized
We are daily bombarded by photos on social media of seemingly perfect couples in absolute harmony. However, whether anonymous or famous, each one only exposes the best of their life on social networks. Romantic dinners, expensive gifts or unexpected surprises, none of these guarantees that the relationship is perfect every time.
The truth is that we rarely expose sad moments or fights, and by raising the standard of what we expect from a relationship, we are ignoring that we are human beings. Sometimes we are tired, sometimes we make mistakes, and true love is strongest in those moments of greatest difficulty.
Look for someone with characteristics that are really important such as good humor, honesty, a sense of responsibility and justice and, above all, see if the person knows how to listen to you and cares about you. We should not seek perfection or compare ourselves with other couples, as this does not lead us to any other path but frustration.
Egocentrism
There is a subtle difference between self-confidence and self-centeredness. Having solid self-esteem is essential, especially within a loving relationship. That way, you know exactly what you deserve and you will never accept less from the other person. But loving yourself is not synonymous with being selfish, and we cannot act as if the rest of the world exists just to serve us.
There is, after all, nothing more uncomfortable than someone who only talks about themselves, their achievements, their day and their appearance. Show yourself interested in the other person! Listen to what she has to say and notice those things she hasn't said yet, but has let on.
Abandon the idea that the world revolves around you, have more empathy and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Many fights within a relationship happen due to the lack of dialogue. Instead of assuming something, talk! People who can only think about themselves are not ready for a mature and affectionate relationship with another person.
hide from the world
Undoubtedly, if you've just ended a relationship, you're expected to want some time for yourself, but it shouldn't last a lifetime. When we're single for a long time, we believe that it's less work to be alone getting to know someone, and we often miss opportunities to find someone nice to have on our side.
Finding a love to call your own is not always as easy as in the movies and you will hardly find it in the handsome guy who sat in the seat next to the plane or even in the girl you bumped into on the way to work and invited you for coffee. .
Open up to the world! Don't be afraid to accept invitations from friends and don't ignore opportunities to meet new people, even if it means changing your routine a bit. Love will not magically appear and we need to give it a chance to make it happen.
This gets easier from the moment we open our heart. If you've had your heart broken, it's normal for fear of possible rejection to be a barrier to you getting close to someone again, but don't be afraid to show your personality when meeting new people. Whoever is interested in you, will like you for being exactly as you are!
emotional blocks
Throughout our lives, we go through several situations that can shake our self-esteem. Crises in old relationships, setbacks in professional life, conflicting family relationships, not to mention insecurities related to some personal characteristic.
Often, certain blocks arise from the sum of various emotional wounds that we have been neglecting throughout our lives. Fear of abandonment, for example, is a very common situation that prevents many people from jumping into a new romance!
People who are very insecure tend to label themselves, predict what the other will think about them, and the fear of going wrong is usually greater than the desire for a new romance to work. For a relationship to unfold naturally, let the person discover more about you over time.
Exercising our self-confidence is a very positive thing, but you will certainly need to go deeper to understand where these emotional blocks come from. Psychotherapy helps a lot in this process of self-knowledge and understanding how we can heal from these harmful emotions.
be impatient
It is not uncommon to place all our hopes on a relationship, and if it ends, we believe that we will no longer be happy, because our chance to find the love of our life has passed. Ending a cycle is not synonymous with failure and much less should we think that we are too old to live a great love!
Each person has a different journey in life. This means that everyone's time is unique and you don't have to give up on loving relationships because you think you're too old for that or accept a love in half for fear of loneliness.
With that, you can close your eyes to something much bigger in your life. Rest assured that when love arrives, there won't be any doubts in your heart!
If you've ever been let down by someone or grew up in a family where fights were constant, you need to let go of the negative feelings you usually attribute to relationships.
Other than that, unlike fairy tales, real relationships aren't always happy all the time. When two people choose to stay together, they must give up pride so that coexistence is harmonious and, of course, nothing like a sincere conversation to ensure the longevity of the relationship.
But now, what to do to change? Before thinking about a new love story, focus on understanding what your past traumas are. Identifying your fears is the first step to being able to heal from these sequelae. To be happy with someone you need to be emotionally well, and some methods can help in this healing process:
Seek psychological help
Emotional wounds can heal on their own over time, but in many cases we can count on the help of a professional so that they don't become an even bigger problem and are projected into future relationships. Through therapy, the psychologist helps us to see what are the biggest obstacles that may be holding us back and understand how we can overcome them. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, for example, is a branch of psychology that helps us understand how we interpret the events of our life in order to learn how to better deal with them.
books can help
Reading is an excellent option, but you don't necessarily have to look for obvious titles on how to find love. It is important, in this process, to focus on your “inner self”. Look for books whose content encourages self-knowledge, strengthens self-esteem and expands knowledge.
An example is “The Missing Part”, by Shel Silverstein, a classic of youth literature capable of impacting readers of all ages. The book brings up several questions about what love is and about emotional dependence.
Balance through meditation
Meditation can also be a big step in the inner healing process. Several guided meditation videos are available on the internet and will certainly be essential to unlock some emotions through self-knowledge and anxiety control.
Anxiety can boycott new experiences, as it is common for people to give up on a relationship before it even gets serious, just for fear of reliving some negative situation. Meditating is the meeting of the body with the mind and will help you identify the root of your fears and attract good vibes.
- Pleasure to be single
- Discover the power of self love
- Is there perfect love? Find out here
- Learn how to connect with love, the universal energy
- Use singleness to evolve spiritually
- It is impossible to be happy alone?
In summary, self-knowledge is the key issue for understanding the reasons why we are alone. Once identified, it is essential to modify thoughts and habits that may be preventing us from starting a loving relationship, such as certain personal behaviors, or even deciding if it is not time to break some cycles with people who were once important, but today we are not add nothing else.
Remember that balancing energies is an important factor in attracting good things into your life. Putting yourself first may be what you're missing for finding your soulmate. Start by having more affection for yourself, take care of your thoughts and attitudes. Without a doubt, soon the loved one will appear in your life!
