The scheme of their actions, for those who know them, is easy to detect, in the second phase, when they already know that they have imprisoned their prey, they begin to articulate in their behavior some brief disappearances or make some kind of ominous silence, as if they owed them something. All of this is happening at the same time that they are subtly throwing in the air some speech of less value that disqualifies them.
As time passes, they become more and more important, as if they alone were the owners of the truths. Victims, in turn, become increasingly dependent, needing more and more a benevolent look of approval.
When the ground is already well "softened", they begin to make grotesque remarks, changing their mood drastically, blaming and getting angry if they dare to complain. As a result of the perverse emotional abuse, step by step victims begin to get tense and horrified by the threats to the point where they forget who they once were.
So that you don't get into or out of a toxic cycle of abuse of this order, observe if your affective partner blames you for everything and confuses you, always arranging negative arguments and in a distorted way about what you did, if you don't stop talking to the point where you forget or doubt if you said something or not, to the point where you let yourself go, forgetting about yourself in the name of calming your supposed partner.
One of the tactics is to always hold you responsible for the bad mood he got and the fights he caused.
Countless times you can dismantle yourself by asking for references as to why he is in a bad mood and he sadistically stays silent while you destroy yourself in sheer desperation, there is no rule about what kind of reaction he will have, but one thing is for sure: the goal will always be to “break your legs” or “pull the rug out from under you”, as so many say happens when you least expect it and when you are most emotionally surrendered and, therefore, disarmed.
When the victims find themselves totally weakened, the disposal will be total even if they remain with them, leaving no shadow of respect.One of the worst moments is when the couple appears in public, he is always impeccable and not leaving a fiasco of doubt about how good and polite he is, and she looking like a poor wreck, but still trying to keep up and well, even for being confused about the whole plot and also because of the difficulty in believing that she could be in such a trap.
Psychopaths, abusers, perverse narcissists and others on the same spectrum are hostages to themselves, of those dark emotional themes that incessantly haunt them in the basement of their consciences without showing their face, but commanding a spectacle of macabre performances.
Although they are functional and know how to deal with the issues of reality, one cannot lose sight of the fact that they are mentally ill. It would be important for their lives that they legitimately could have some awareness of how much they are hostages to themselves, unfortunately they rarely come into contact with such aspects, with most remaining unconscious and acting as true predators.
For victims, it is important to know what they are like and to seek to rescue themselves through competent therapy in order to recognize and reprocess the loose emotional threads that served as bait for them to get involved in a horror movie of this order. Without blaming themselves, welcoming themselves in their pain and making room for a true rebirth in life!
*Although the article was written in the female version, it is stated that men can also be victims of the same order of abusive situations and go through the same distressing emotional contexts and with the same possibilities of rescue.
The more awake, the better!
Silvia Malamud.
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