Time is mysterious, and I don't get tired of saying it. Not because it passes quickly, after all, that's a matter of point of view, but because of the ability he has to transform people. If time didn't pass, we wouldn't experience new things, let alone feel the need for change. And that's exactly what happens to our children: whether by accident or not, one day they are born, and with them the most inexplicable and immeasurable love there is; in the next, he's already smiling, crawling, talking, walking... And, when we know it, they seem to be going further than we'd like. But wait a minute, further than WE'D LIKE? Who are we to impose limits?
Yes, we are your parents, but not your owners.
The role of a father or a mother—or the parent—is love, educate, help and guide. And as a guide, it's almost like a trip. You score and explain the sights of this trip called life, and it's up to him to decide if he wants to do adventure tourism or not.
Everyone knows, or imagines, the feeling of emptiness that comes with the idea of ​​your child not being at home anymore. Suddenly, his room is empty, the bed that used to be unmade is no longer a fold out of place, the chair that was almost the laundry basket is immaculate and that place on the table where you got tired of watching him grow is the way you always feared: emptiness. Of course, I didn't say anything new, you know your pain, but what about his?
Getting out of your comfort zone is no easy task.
As children, we always live at the mercy of our parents, almost like pets. They clean us, feed us, pay for our studies, pamper us, take us to new places, and we are in an extremely comfortable situation, so much so that this is why many of us prefer this life for long, long years. But there are those children who have always expected more from the world, or who wish to find themselves not in the position of “the beloved child”, but in the place of a man or a woman in search of their true self and, consequently, their place. in the world. For these children, the struggle is not easy, leaving the comfort zone requires a lot of reflection and especially courage. It is important to remember that a child has a heart, soul and will of his own, so keep in mind that he is not leaving home because he hates you or because the family is bad or because you have not been good or good enough, but simply because he want to know how far you can go.
He wants to finally ride a bike in life without the extra training wheels for balance that you—father and mother—formerly represented. He will fall, he will get up, he will walk again and one day he will get where he wants to achieve so much. So don't try to unbalance him, don't underestimate the relationship you created, he knows it's difficult for you and that still represents the brake for him from time to time. Be strong, let it go, let it find its own balance.
He won his fight, but what about you?
The son's battle is to overcome his comfort zone, his fears and doubts, and when this battle is won, yours begins: understanding that you have a life outside the role of father or mother.
It was years dedicated to this occupation, it's almost like leaving a job without a guarantee fund, it's a shock, it's difficult, but just as your child will start over, you must also follow the same path. Rediscover old pleasures, discover new ones, occupy your mind. It will be an uncomfortable situation, but just because you can't fly alongside a bird doesn't detract from the beauty of flight. He's not going forever, you can communicate whenever you want. So enjoy your child's soaring wings, you've worked hard for it. Even if he has his flaws and difficulties, the world will teach him how to turn around and the wind will guide him. And as the Tarzan soundtrack would say… I am sure that both your child and you will always have these words in mind:
Love unites us forever
there's no reason to cry
Well in my heart
you will always be
And my love for you will follow.
