We are born with fear; it is instinctive, biological, and essential for our survival. But as a result of unhealed cuts, some fears are just the result of a traumatized psyche.
Buddha tells the story of a man who saw a snake in his room before he went to sleep, and stayed motionless all night in the hope that the snake might attack him. In the light of dawn, the individual saw that, in reality, the snake was just the shadow of a simple rope, and not a venomous and dangerous snake. So do we when we don't illuminate the dark parts of our being. By shining the light of a lantern inside us, we can see more clearly what needs to be healed and worked on. Not everything that is before our eyes is real. When we don't face our monsters, we are also immobile, passive, and fearful.
“Fear has many eyes and sees things underground.” Miguel de Cervantes, in the book Don Quixote
The concept discussed in the book 'Emotional Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman, helps us overcome everyday obstacles – such as fear – with the help of neuroscience. One of the most didactic examples to introduce the theme is the bicycle: if at some point in our childhood we hurt ourselves falling on a bicycle, the pain will take root in the brain and prevent a new experiment. And how to reverse this? Just analyze what caused the fall, take precautions and try again. Knowing and managing our emotional side, we will change the roles of 'hostages, to 'commanders' of our own traumas.
“The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.” Daniel Goleman
Fear is biological, but so is the ability to learn and manage. As Goleman teaches us, distinguishing and characterizing emotions and then reacting frees us from the tribulations that are always causing fear and inactivity in our lives. It is necessary to look within to eliminate our impulses that are the result of irrational fear, and give way to the lucidity of wisdom and reflection. If we don't know our weaknesses, we will unconsciously be hostages to all of them. Cowardice manifests itself when we cannot control a situation, and above all, when we do not have the temper to formulate a solution. Confronting emotional ignorance is reaching new heights of self-awareness.
“We must learn about fear, not how to escape it.” Jiddu Krishnamurti
It is very common for us to move from one troubled relationship to another, without giving ourselves time, in the hope that our need will be addressed by someone else. And this is how we trigger more illnesses and emotional accumulations. We try to replace internal support with external support, using people, material goods, addictions and other consumption as pillars of security. The truth is that goods, collections and people, come and go.
When we are consumed by fear, compulsion and impulses, we become dependent on false external supports. If our security is increasingly linked to knowing and dominating ourselves, our point of support will always be within ourselves, in our home. Returning to our home and re-signifying all the experience lived with wisdom and maintenance is self-care that becomes self-knowledge. Minor daily pain can accumulate if not repaired often. The opposite way is simple: come to your senses and give the necessary surgical stitches for healing.
“After walking the paths that lead to others, come back to yourself. The last movement of each day must be to retire. Let it be a rule: never sleep outside the house of being. Never to another dedicate the last prose. The last word of the day needs to be with you. Obeying the movement that accommodates you, returns you to intimate communion, to the primitive, personal, initial state […] After offering everything to others, returning to yourself to feed what will continue to be offered tomorrow.” Foot. Fábio de Melo
We live because of our fears that are not instinctive, but created and produced by our family beliefs, hereditary superstitions, failed experiences and, above all, by unhealed scars. We alone have the power to heal infirmities, weaknesses and infirmities. In the psyche, the uncured illness is progressive cancer; the tumor travels through the heart, lodges in the brain and paralyzes the movements of the soul, spirit and conscience.
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No trauma will be fueled by fear if we have a safe place for hospitalization. Self-knowledge linked to self-care is rigid cement that builds the strongest pillars of our home. Have somewhere to return to, take care of and maintain your home.
