Many people choose to passionately share their lives with others. As a couple, they choose each other, they choose each other to share the good moments of life, but also the anguish. It is difficult (but not impossible) to find people who prefer to live alone, but this article will be about coexistence between couples, with the unpretentiousness of governing rules, but with suggestions on how to make life together more pleasant and in partnership.
Many want to find their “half of the orange”, their “lid of the pot”, as our grandmothers used to play. It is a fact: a couple, in this case speaking of monogamy, is something very beautiful! They are two completely different beings, with different tastes, different attitudes, who may have come from completely different places and who, at a certain point in life, meet and decide to come together to experience moments together. They share expenses, worries, joys, even raising one or more children, so that, if they so wish, they can separate only with death (physical, as they will most likely continue their walks in the spiritual plane, together!).
“Each one knows how to love in his own way; the mode doesn't matter; the essential thing is to know how to love”, wrote Machado de Assis. There are many ways to love, but love is unmistakable. We know when we are in love, we know when we truly love someone and we are willing to share our secrets, our dreams with them! It's amazing the feeling that invades us when we discover our life trajectory spouse! We don't want to lose it at all. Can disillusionments arise? Sure! We are imperfect beings! But to celebrate the Couple's Day, December 1st, we emphasize that living together is knowing how to tolerate, respect, forgive and love our love with all its flaws.
First advice for a peaceful coexistence: do not place all our expectations of life on this person. Our partner is, as the name implies, our friend on the journey, but cannot be responsible for our happiness. We need to keep in mind that if our goal is said happiness, it will be built together, but we don't put all the responsibility for our delight in another being, because he/she really cannot be responsible for making us happy.
Second advice for a harmonious coexistence: tolerance (or respect). Tolerance is knowing how to consider that we all have particularities that identify us and make us unique and unusual beings and, often, my habits or my attitudes may not please, but my love respects and understands me. Does my husband annoy me when he doesn't soak the dirty dishes in the sink? Perhaps! But I must piss him off when I keep him waiting minutes too long to leave work (and isn't it a blessing to have a ride home at the end of the day?). What I mean here is that living together requires and predisposes esteem, consideration, affection and even tolerating some details that may not make me 100% happy. But going back to what has already been said, we are all imperfect and we are constantly (re)building ourselves.
Third and final advice for a happy coexistence, which takes up the title of this article: living together is participating, being together, cheering for the person, vibrating with their successes and helping in the vicissitudes. Be an accomplice! Is your love in trouble? Don't criticize him, support him! No one needs someone else (especially the one we love) to bring us down when we're already sad. Has your partner lost his/her job or is experiencing a health problem, for example? Be the first to support, to cry together, if necessary, but also the first to encourage, to not only push (which seems so aggressive!), but to take the hand and say: “Shall we go together? I'm with you!". Be supportive!
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If the monogamous option works for you, as it does for many people, be like the Emperor Penguin, who is faithful, cares for their chicks together, protects one another, encourages and wooes. I bring the example of the animal kingdom to demonstrate that partnership in love exists between many species! Be a model of living well, of living well, be pleasant, make many people want to be by your side, including your spouse! No one can put up with a grumpy, gruff, rude person for long. Be kind and love will come to you or sustain itself!
Living together is a delight, forming a family too! Good luck in your relationship, or rather, a lot of love in your relationship, because luck is what we do.
