Is it healthy to miss you? Of all the feelings that permeate the human heart, there is none so peculiar and particular as longing.
Far from ideal, it would be important to know how to report whether it is good or bad to miss you, however, trying to reflect on the question in the subtitle of this article, I feel obliged to say that this is a difficult question to answer, but I will try to explain why. .
Let's see something interesting:
The word saudade does not exist in any other language, except in Portuguese, and its definition is:
“The word saudade comes from the Latin solitas, which means unity; loneliness; helplessness. In the Aurélio Dictionary, saudade is defined as: (feminine noun) a melancholy feeling due to the removal of a person, thing or place, or the absence of pleasurable experiences already lived.”
From my point of view, this is an almost perfect definition!
This is exactly how we feel when we are longing for something or someone; with a feeling of melancholy and helplessness, we feel sad and loneliness invades our lives.
From memory to memory, we try to go on and live, sometimes smiling, sometimes crying, bringing with us what has gone, what has passed, what is left behind.
And when we feel homesick, we have the opportunity to relive and “fill” that void generated by the absence of something or the other with moments of happiness.
Following the path of pain and sadness can generate a chemical process also known as depression, this is certainly not healthy; but analyzing the other side, the moment of feeling that taste of being close to someone again, even if it's in thought, or just remembering something that makes you happy can generate another chemical process called happiness.
By allowing yourself to miss you, you are creating the opportunity to interact with yourself. And far from everything and everyone, you can reflect that you only feel this because you lived, because you were “there”, you enjoyed that moment that belongs to you and that nothing and no one can take away from you.
And you don't just miss those who have left one place for another or who have left for eternity. We miss the smell, the taste, the flavor, the music, the quick flashes and snapshots that come and go quickly, the dance, the joke, being together, looking at the photograph, the laughter, the silly fights, etc.
Everything turns inside like a whirlpool and transports us to another place like magic. It's as if we can actually go back to that moment and relive what happened again.
Returning, however, to the subtitle question:
“—Yes, it is healthy to miss you!” It is a good, pleasant feeling, because when we talk about longing, we are talking about love. That love that left us marks and memories that may not always be good, but that make us dive into the tunnel of past or present time, letting us feel alive. The heart throbs with force, in an uncontrollable mismatch when we know that there are moments left for the other to arrive and, in a hug, to end all the agony of that wait. We talk about fulfillment and how the other is able to complete us, taking us in their arms and comforting our heart.
The problem is when we can't do that. When time, distance or death cannot soothe our heart, longing hurts deeply, hurts the soul, makes the chest bleed with so much pain. We are consumed by despair and, many times, we no longer see the point of following, but if we analyze this as something propelling, which can take us off the bottom of the well, the longing becomes healthy.
It can be days and nights and it can be a life of waiting, but we know that one day the longing comes to an end, even if that day is marked with our own death. The longing will end for us, but it will begin for others, who will feel what we felt before, this is very healthy, because it renews the cycle of life and makes the world turn clockwise, not the other way around.
Nostalgia may be the personification of the end, but it is also the representation of what begins and keeps everything in its place, as it really should be. An untouched place, a photograph that immortalizes a moment, an object that no one can move, a song that will always be requested and played and waiting for a hug that in this or another dimension will comfort us.
That's how, dear readers friends, I'm saying goodbye, already longing for my next story, for another writing and the certainty that I'll miss you when I'm gone, so I hope (laughs)...
You might also like:
- Learn how to see grief as a form of love
- Learn to deal with expectations and frustrations
- The different types of longing
- Tips on how to take better care of yourself
As Saint Augustine wrote… “Death is nothing. I just crossed over to the other side of the path. I am me, you are you. What I was to you, I will keep being. Give me the name you always gave me, talk to me like you always did. You continue to live in the world of creatures, I am living in the world of the Creator. Don't use a solemn or sad tone, keep laughing at what made us laugh together. Pray, smile, think about me. Pray for me. May my name be pronounced as it has always been, without emphasis of any kind. No trace of shadow or sadness. Life means everything it ever meant to. The wire was not cut. Why would I be out of your thoughts now that I'm just out of your sight? I'm not far, I'm just on the other side of the way... You who stayed there, move on... Life goes on, beautiful and beautiful as it always was."
Is it or isn't it a beautiful way to transform death into a poem and the poem into nostalgia?!
Strenght always!
Let's keep going!
