You know that thought that causes fear, sadness, anxiety, anguish or other negative feeling, comes out of nowhere and doesn't seem to abandon you, coming back several times? This is an intrusive thought, something that can be very bad for your mental health. So it's important to understand what it is!
What is intrusive thinking?
Intrusive thoughts, as the name implies, are unwanted thoughts, which arise without being “invited” – that is why they are intruders. They are often unpleasant, distressing, stressful, and even aggressive or violent. It is also common for them to repeat themselves constantly, lengthening the suffering.
Sometimes these thoughts arise from a trigger, such as a conversation, situation, or even a movie or song that evokes them. But they can also arise out of nowhere, like the many thoughts we have throughout the day.
Because of the repetition and intensity of this situation, the person suffering from it may even begin to become paranoid about the themes of these thoughts.
Finally, another characteristic of intrusive thoughts is that they usually predict very catastrophic and unpleasant situations. In addition, they can represent the opposite of what the person wants to do (for example, brooding over a hurt and thinking about getting revenge on someone when they really just want to move on).
Are intrusive thoughts hunches?
Not. Regardless of what your beliefs are and what you think about your spirituality, don't mix things up. Intrusive thoughts are a psychological disorder and should be treated as such.
So don't think that they are forebodings or omens that something bad is going to happen. They're not warnings from the subconscious or anything like that, just an uncomfortable psychological situation that we need to deal with.
Examples of intrusive thoughts
There are no “types” of intrusive thoughts, because they vary according to who we are, our life experience, our fears, anxieties, traumas, etc. So the examples can be many.
A person, for example, who is afraid of public speaking, can suffer a lot with thoughts about embarrassing situations he can get himself into when trying to communicate in this way.
Someone who suffers from insecurity can suffer a lot for imagining betrayals and infidelities of the partner, including imagining and creating situations because of these intrusive thoughts.
A mother or father may worry about the safety of their children beyond measure, harming their social life, for example, by always imagining dangers to which they may be subject.
Another common type of intrusive thinking is that of a sexual nature, especially those that can bring shame or that are related to sexual fantasies that do not match the person's beliefs, sexual orientation and reality.
Anyway, whatever these ramblings are, they greatly harm the quality of a person's life. Stress, fear and anxiety can be constant, disrupting her family, affective and friendship relationships and turning her into someone insecure.
Intrusive thoughts and self-esteem
Another way in which intrusive thoughts act is as a “voice” that affirms and reaffirms reality distortions that are very bad for our self-esteem.
A person who has not performed well on a test, for example, may spend a lot of time listening to this voice call him “stupid”, “disqualified”, “unprepared”, and so on.
In a love relationship, an insecure person can live looking for a thousand and one ways to correct mistakes that he didn't even make. Or you can imagine your partner leaving you for reasons that don't even exist outside your head.
Even physical appearance can be affected. It is enough, for example, to think that maybe you are overweight for every look from other people or comments to reinforce this thought, which can cause diseases such as bulimia, anorexia, among others.
Imagine that someone spends all day humiliating you, insulting, cursing and saying bad words. Terrible, right? That's what you do to yourself when you allow intrusive thoughts to take over your mind.
Intrusive thoughts and shame
As intrusive thoughts are usually detached from reality or “make reality worse”, it is common for the person who suffers from them to be ashamed to talk about it.
She is afraid of being judged, called crazy, having her pain diminished and not understood, speaking and not being heard or even being humiliated or seeing the other person react in a horrified way.
That's why, as we'll explain later, seeking psychotherapy is a good way to deal with intrusive thoughts.
Who has intrusive thoughts?
We can all suffer from intrusive thoughts. Depending on our traumas, fears, stress level, current situation - and so on -, they can become frequent in our routine. But people who have a more heightened sensitivity, who are more anxious, pessimistic and depressed may suffer more from it.
Among the illnesses that can favor intrusive thoughts are depression, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as eating disorders.
How to deal with intrusive thoughts
- Therapy
Intrusive thoughts aren't just bothersome. They can trigger psychological disorders as well as be symptoms of these disorders. In addition, even if they do not become diseases, they cause the quality of life to drop a lot and the stress level to increase.
So, before you are "swallowed" by them, or if you feel like you have been, looking for therapy is essential to move on and solve this problem, before it becomes bigger than you. With a psychologist, you will not need to be ashamed of these thoughts and will be guided, encouraged and accompanied.
- write the thought
Have you ever had the feeling of waiting a long time for something to happen or see something, but when the time comes, being disappointed to see that it wasn't everything you imagined? This frustration can be used as an asset when it comes to intrusive thinking.
Let's say you're imagining a thousand and one scenes of your partner making out with his best friend, despite never having found any evidence of that happening.
When writing on paper “my boyfriend/husband is cheating on me with his best friend”, you will realize how this intrusive thought is likely to sound ridiculous and completely out of touch with reality and your boyfriend/husband’s relationship with this friend and with you. . By turning that thought into something “concrete”, even if they are words, it will become clear how absurd it is.
- Talk to that thought
Imagine that some coworker comes to your ear and whispers, "I think you're going to get fired." You basically have two options here: the first is to listen silently and start brooding over your fear and rethinking your behavior to understand why this is happening.
The second option is to listen to this colleague and ask, “Oh, yeah? Who told you? Can you tell me why?”. When there is no dialogue, there are many gaps for misunderstandings, right?
Going back to the example, the colleague may respond: “Nobody told me anything, and it's strange because you've been doing your tasks well. But the results are down, and I think the team can change.” See how it had nothing to do with you specifically? Much suffering was spared by this dialogue.
So when an intrusive thought arises, talk to it. Question its motives, its roots, where it comes from, what wounds it touches, why it hurts, what you can do or if you can't do anything.
- accept the thought
Returning to the last sentence of the previous topic, there is a saying that goes: “What cannot be solved, is solved”. That is, if we can't do anything to deal with a problem, why waste time on it?
And this is how we must deal with intrusive thoughts that refuse to go away or that don't allow us to move to resolve. An example: “I will never find the right partner, have a healthy relationship and get married”.
There's nothing that can make you sure this is true or a lie, is there? Only living life will bring that answer. So instead of dwelling on that thought, trying to understand why you don't "deserve" this relationship, what you should do to "deserve", and so on, simply accept that you have no control over it.
Most intrusive thoughts are demanding action; therefore, they cause us anxiety. Accepting their existence and that there is nothing that can be done against them can heal us. It's like watching horror movies: at first experience, it's very scary. But, after about 15 movies already seen, it's harder to be scared, isn't it?
- go in the other direction
Are thoughts causing fear, anxiety, anguish and sadness? How about pointing in another direction? Try to think of things that bring you positivity, hope, joy and optimism.
And it doesn't have to have anything to do with intrusive thinking. If you think, for example: “I will never be able to reach the weight I want” and repeat this countless times, then you can redirect and think something like: “What about that time when I did very well in that test that I thought I was going to beat?” .
Remembering this will bring joy and hope. Indirectly, you are reinforcing that you can achieve your goals.
You might also like:
- The navel is a vortex of energy
- the shadow of sexuality
- Learn how to eliminate negativity from your life
- Learn how to avoid the cycle of negativity
- Understand the reasons we are all toxic
If thinking is definitely not working, you can try doing something: that favorite hobby of yours, occupying your head with a book, a movie or a series, going out with someone to talk and distract yourself, just zapping on social media... anything that distracts you from these thoughts will do.
Now that you have understood everything about intrusive thoughts, you already know the risks they bring and what to do to combat them, thus being able to prevent them from taking hold of you. Don't let these distorted thoughts control your life!
