There are several psychotherapy and self-help techniques to help in the search for answers about the meaning of one's own existence. A very revealing exercise is to look in the mirror. Have you ever looked in the mirror deeply and face to face with yourself? If yes, what sensations did you have? I confess that the first few times I tried it, 100% of the thoughts and feelings were negative. From this awareness, I began to use the EXERCISE of FORGIVENESS as a tool to unlock these blocks. What is your self-perception and self-image? Have you ever done the exercise of forgiving yourself? From childhood we are taught to apologize to someone when we do something that socially seems "wrong", but why weren't we taught to be kind to our own SELF? To apologize and follow generously to ourselves?
Self-knowledge: a tool for changing the route!
“If you want to wake up all of humanity, then wake up yourself, if you want to eliminate the suffering of the world, then eliminate the darkness and negativism in you. In fact, the greatest gift you can give the world is your own self-transformation.” -Lao Tzu
The way we see the world has a lot to do with our early childhood (0 to 6 years old), how we standardize and process our experiences, especially family ones. Perhaps you have lived through difficult times. Perhaps, from your point of view (because it is always from a personal perspective), you lacked love, respect, care, etc. Perhaps, there was no presence of the father, the mother or both. Or, as in most cases, there was physical presence of the parents/guardians, but there was no emotional presence (ex.: was there an affective presence of the guardians at dinner time? Was there a “good night” full of love when going to bed? welcomed and loved?) If these experiences were negative as a child, in a way, you co-create your "ghosts" and current traumas based on these references, and thus project your "matrix" programming into relationships, looking at the external and internal world with a "kit of lenses". blurred” from reality (lenses of helplessness, criticism, lack of love, abandonment, etc.). But I would like you to know that your parents/guardians did the BEST they could within their reality. Everyone has their “inner child” with their own wounds. Have you ever asked how your parents', grandparents' childhood was like? What difficulties did they face?
In this context, it is liberating to reflect on the biblical verse that has become a popular saying: “Before you look at the 'speck' in your brother's eyes, see the 'twig' in your own eyes!” The speck represents the attitude of the other towards a given situation. The branch represents our own “ghosts”, traumas and fears, which we project onto the other. According to Carl G. Jung, psychiatrist and psychotherapist, projection is seeing in the other what we have inside us (we only see outside what is inside us repressed or suppressed in the unconscious). So, when something bothers you in the action of others, it means that a beautiful invitation to analyze the origin of your own feelings “has arisen”. We can ask ourselves: why does this bother me? What can I learn about myself in the face of this challenge? For example: if the disrespect of the other bothers me and I project my own lack of respect (projection) on him, in what way do I also not respect myself? How do I not respect other people? If aggression bothers me, in which situations am I aggressive with myself and with others?
Through these introspective analyzes and internal questioning of each discomfort, you have the opportunity to develop self-knowledge, self-control and bring to consciousness what was hidden in the unconscious (shadow). It reminds me of a beautiful and profound phrase that is a mantra in my life: “Darkness is light!” (Rumi). Oh, how nice to meet you! Oh, what a challenge! How much momentary pain arises when taking the "dirt under the rug", how painful it is to expose one's wounds, how much despair in not having (yet) answers to so many questions and questions that emerge when light is brought to the darkness! But right after this “hard” period, what peace in the heart! It's something indescribable! I wish you, reader, that you have the opportunity to live this experience!
Do you want to walk a new path?!
At this point you must be wondering, how to try it?! I don't think there is a formula, it's a matter of making a CHOICE! It's your choice! The choice is mine! Choose to continue within the pattern of limiting and negative beliefs that lead to bad results and remain as a "victim" of your own story, or choose whether to "take the reins" of your own life! You decide!
Turning the page takes courage! And more than turning the page, the important thing is to start a new chapter, with a TOWARDS totally different from the inertia that follows until today! Writing the text, I had a very important insight (idea) (…), for the NEW to be possible, you have to let go of the OLD! But how?! Then came the analogy of the blank page in books between the end of one chapter and the next. "White page" is exactly the moment when you can't stand to live the same way anymore, repeating the same patterns of discontent. It is on the “white page” that you take a deep breath and dive inside yourself and analyze everything that happens inside. “What you resist, persists” (Carl G. Jung), so let all the emotions, crying, sadness and everything that needs to be “discovered” come. In some of my letting go experiences, I fell down and cried and cried and cried some more! And in the end, when the crying stops, the feeling of relief and peace is your guide to understand that you are ready for the “turning point” to move towards the NEW.
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I invite you, as I DECIDED, to write a new chapter, in which I CHOOSE that the negative things of the past no longer have power over my life; I choose to love myself, forgive myself and accept myself and others as they are! Accept that everyone has their story, and that's all right!
Let's go on this journey together?! And when you miss the path, no problem, just “recalculate”. Oh, an important detail! Check that the “final destination” of the route is actually towards the “new path”. Because EGO, FEAR and LIMITING BELIEFS have a great power to lead you (automatically) to the old patterns (after all, you were so many years in this pattern that it became a habit). Just come back to your “center” with kindness, because it doesn't matter how many times you “leave the center”, but rather, how many times you can come back, and with each turn you will be more resilient. Then, when you're off course, turn on your GPS which will say “recalculating”, and keep going until the next “RECALCULTING”!
Great trip!
