towards happiness

In the compass of life, most of us have been conditioned to think that happiness is true north. Many of us go through life thinking that happiness is the end of everything, the ultimate prize. If I only had that, I would be happy. If I did that, I would be happy. Interestingly, we are more likely to point towards happiness as if it were far away, rather than simply reaching a state of flow towards happiness.

In our quest for happiness, we must first realize and accept that being happy is a deliberate choice, a choice we make every moment of every day. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they make the most of everything that comes their way.

There are many strategies to help achieve this possible goal. I will share some ways that I think are important.

For the most part, being happy is less about circumstances and more about attitude. Our thoughts create our reality, and what we think about most, we become. And if positive thinking doesn't come naturally, as it does for most people, the good news is that optimism becomes easier the more we apply it to our lives. Instead of complaining or reflecting on things that go wrong, we should put our energy into doing what we can to make things better; adopt the “this too shall pass”. It is good to reflect on ways to correct what went wrong or to think about how we can do things better next time, but if we want to be happy we must give equal time to reflect on the positive results of our days.

Know yourself, and when you do, always stay true to yourself. What other people think of you doesn't matter. There is no right or wrong way to be, as long as no one gets hurt. Focus less on impressing others and more on trying to be yourself authentically.

 They don't make excuses or blame others for their failures. They just accept it for what it is, and they're sure to do things differently or better next time. Taking responsibility for ourselves and our lives gives us a sense of empowerment. When we are empowered, we are happy.

Identify your personal strengths and make the most of them. Each of us has a unique set of personal resources. Each of us has talents and abilities. We must use these gifts as tools for personal achievement. Focusing on success using our strengths and talents is another great way to achieve happiness.

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We all have fears: fear of what may or may not happen, fear of failure, fear of being judged by others. These fears keep us from fulfilling our dreams, starting a new business, changing careers, embarking on a new relationship, or ending one. Our fears keep us stuck in places we don't want to be and the people we must move with. We cannot let our fears become obstacles. It's easy to put things off, waiting for the perfect moment, but when we do, time is wasted; days, months and years pass us by. We don't have to take big leaps, just small steps in the right direction. When we let go of our fears, we can embrace the happiness we deserve.

We are much happier when we don't have the weight of the world on our shoulders. To achieve this, we need to give up trying to control everyone and everything in our lives. We have to let go of the beliefs that we are the only ones who know what is right and that we are the only ones who know how to do things. Involve competent people in your life and then hand over some of your responsibilities.

Find joy in simplicity, joy can be extracted from the most basic things in life: simple pleasures and breathtaking moments. As the saying goes, “The best things in life are free”. Happiness comes from quality, not quantity; of simplicity, not complexity; and moderation, not excess. When our lives and our surroundings are full of stuff, it stresses us out. The less we have, the freer and happier we will feel.

Pleasant moments are just that – moments. They are temporary – they come and go. And they will never be as exciting or intriguing the second, third or fourth time around. We need to allow ourselves to enjoy the pleasures of life without feeling the need to grab, capture, or cage the things that bring us pleasure. We cannot be happy when we expect the next thing to make us happy. We will never be satisfied with what is if we are always waiting for what will be.

Practice gratitude. Be someone who expresses appreciation for the simplest of things. Take time each day to reflect on what you should be thankful for. Look at life from the point of view of what you have, not what you don't have. Contentment comes when we count our blessings, not when we focus on grievances.

Last but not least, probably the easiest ways to keep happiness in our lives is to not take ourselves too seriously and laugh often. Life is painful enough. We don't have to make things more difficult for ourselves. We can be deliberate in choosing how we see and react to everyday occurrences. Realize that each moment is unique, each moment must be cherished. Then laugh at yourself and laugh at life. There is no better stress reducer or formula for happiness.