“Who has never made a mistake, let him cast the first stone”. This biblical passage, which has become quite popular, has certainly been used by you at some point in your life. That's what we say when a person who made a mistake is being judged as if he were the only one who made a mistake.
That's because it's hard to accept that we all make mistakes and fail to some extent. Regardless of what our intentions are, we can hurt someone, make an incorrect prediction, express our feelings without a second thought. Such attitudes can happen to anyone.
However, we are not always able to recognize our humanity. That's why there is forgiveness. With this act, we demonstrate that all people make mistakes and that they should not be eternally punished for doing so. Forgiving someone is not synonymous with forgetting the harm that someone has done to us, it is releasing that person (and ourselves) from the weight of guilt.
In other words, forgiving is an act of trust and love. Trust because we show the other person that we believe they won't do what they did again; and love, because we give you the opportunity to live in peace. Even forgiveness can be granted from a person to himself, allowing him to move on after making a mistake.
Why is forgiveness important?
Some people pride themselves on never forgiving others. They imagine that in this way they will only build very real and lasting bonds with those who are above any possibility of error. An inappropriate attitude, a misinterpreted word, and that is enough to break relationships. Only the best will remain.
However, is this the best way to live? To answer this question, think about your childhood. You probably did a lot of wrong at that time, from scribbling on a wall to saying you hated someone in your family. Obviously you only did all this because you were still learning how life works, but your family members forgave you, didn't they?
When we become adults, we imagine that we have learned everything about life and that making mistakes is no longer possible. But we are always transforming, and we need the opportunity to fix our attitudes that caused some discomfort. Imagine what your life would have been like if your family hadn't forgiven you for the mistakes you made as a child!
So, first of all, forgiveness is important because it shows us that everyone is constantly evolving and that making mistakes is part of that process. It is precisely from him that we will become better versions of who we are, both when we forgive ourselves and when we forgive others.
Thinking about another situation, remember something very painful that someone else has done to you and a mistake you made that seemed to be beyond repair. What are your feelings about this? Is there any positive emotion about this fact, or just resentment, anger and sadness? Your sensations are more likely to be more like the second hypothesis.
But is all this negativity productive for you? Does it teach you something about life, help you be a better person? No! Forgiveness is important here because it helps us to see a situation from another perspective. We will not forget what happened, but we will look at it in a different way, without negative feelings.
Therefore forgiveness is a fundamental tool for our evolution. It is from it that we understand that everyone makes mistakes, that we offer new chances and that we become capable of evaluating situations that have brought us some difficulty. It is a true liberation, for those who forgive and for those who are forgiven.
reasons to forgive
If you're still not convinced that forgiveness is transformative and can improve your life, we've separated some reasons to do so. It is important that you know that you are not obligated to forgive everyone, but it is necessary to consider this hypothesis in all cases.
1) Encourage sincerity
When a person makes a mistake and feels they would not be forgiven for it, they are likely to omit what they did or lie about it. Such behavior can make a relationship fragile, even if the appearance suggests that everything is fine. Any relationship needs transparency!
2) Build important dialogues
Instead of holding back within ourselves the issues that bother us about other people or about ourselves, we have the opportunity to build important dialogues. Through objective and truthful conversations, it is possible to understand the reasons behind a certain action, which favors the granting of forgiveness and the development of future interactions.
3) Facilitate socializing with other people
People are not perfect, and knowing this is essential for good coexistence. We will all make mistakes at some point and will need someone else's forgiveness to maintain our well-being and their well-being. If there is a change in attitude after this type of excuse, socializing with other people will become much lighter.
4) Focus on the present and the future
The past can help us understand the present and the future, but it shouldn't guide our feelings and thoughts all the time. With forgiveness, we recognize that a certain mistake (from other people or ourselves) can stay in the past, without bringing other more serious consequences over time. Otherwise, this failure will turn into resentment and insecurity, lasting for months, even years, without need.
5) Exercise empathy
Empathy is what allows us to understand the attitudes that another person took at a given moment. Maybe we believe that we would do something different than what she did, but we will recognize that at that moment she did what she thought was right. Even if the results weren't the best, it's possible to forgive her for that.
How to practice forgiveness
Once you understand the positive changes forgiveness can bring to your life, broaden your skills by discovering how to practice forgiveness. Be someone better!
1) Recognize the problem
First, the process of granting forgiveness – whether for someone else or for yourself – must start with acknowledging the problem. What was the attitude that caused a problem? What is the magnitude of this discomfort? Is it possible to solve it? Do a thorough analysis by following these questions.
2) See beyond the error
To forgive someone, it is necessary to recognize that people cannot be reduced to an attitude. They are formed from mistakes and successes, and are constantly changing. So don't reduce a human being to a mistake he made, because his complexity cannot be boiled down to that.
3) Work on your confidence
Trusting a person who has wronged us can be a challenge. Trusting our potential after harming us or someone else, too. However, we need to work on our ability to trust others and ourselves despite failures that can happen. After all, we need to believe in ourselves to expand our potentials.
4) Make sure you listen to each other
The exercise of listening to the other person is fundamental to the process of forgiving someone. Only with this gesture will it be possible to understand what led this individual to act in one way and not another. In this way, we will recognize that the way of acting in a situation has an explanation, with which we can relate empathically.
You may also like
- To forgive or not; that is the question!
- Practice Forgiveness in Six Steps to Letting Go of Hurts
- Expand your knowledge with principles of non-violent communication
- Deal with your self-criticism better using our tips
5) Get over this issue
Leaving the past in the past is what can bring us a sense of indescribable freedom. We cannot cling to the mistakes we have already made, or made with us, especially when they are indifferent to the present and the future. So get over this issue that is troubling you at once, through forgiveness!
Evaluating the content that was presented, it is possible to understand that forgiveness is a way of living life more lightly, with love and with empathy. We don't need to forgive everyone, but we need to open up to it. We must even forgive ourselves for what has no bearing on the totality of who we are. Embrace the possibility of failure, forgive, transform and move on!
